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MINISTER JUANITA BYNUM AND SHOCK JOCK WENDY WILLIAMS OF WBLS 107.5–WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO WHEN IT COMES TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Before I proceed allow me to explain.  It is important to understand this one major point.  NO WOMAN SHOULD BE ABUSED FOR ANY REASON AT ALL!  NO HUMANBEING SHOULD BE ABUSED FOR ANY REASON AT ALL!

   Now,  I will proceed.  I looked at the blogs and news paper articles on Minister Juanita Bynum and her marriage abuse/domestic violence episode that is ripping her marriage and ministry. 

Then I looked at Wendy Williams of the Wendy Williams Experience, and her EEO case with Nicole Spence involving her husband Kevin Hunter and –the domestic violence episodes that are threatening her very lucrative career. 

 I began to wonder.  Wendy has a following of faithful listeners, and Juanita Bynum has a following of faithful listeners TOO! 

Strange huh?!  Except Wendy does not preach the Gospel. 

 Wendy has a daily four hour show that goes from  2:00 P.M. until 7:00 P.M. .  Juanita Bynum has a church,  has CDs,  DVD’s for sale,  she tours the country and many, many other options for reaching her flock of faithful followers! 

 The obvious similarity is that they are both HIGH POWERED TYPE- A- PERSONALITY BLACK WOMEN! 

Who can rival them?—–THEIR HUSBANDS! 

 Both Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum are both powerful black women that stand tall and stong in their own work and careers.

 Yet they are challenged by the problems of domestic violence in their home ((((which is being displayed publicly))) despite their efforts to keep private pain private. 

 Why are their husband’s possibly challenging these two strong women in their careers? 

Why would  the  husbands  of these two very opposite…yet equally powerful and influential women–  allow their private marital behavior jeopardize their very successful wives in the year 2007 and 2008? 

  Let us think for a  moment….As  African Decent  women,  Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum have come a long way and have taken the lead within the black community in the United States, and possibly even in the world and the “global economy!” **Not to mention Ophra of course***

 Wendy Williams was broadcasting from California today!  She attracts all walks of life,  despite her sporadic rants about “white people” and her blackness.

  She recently complained about how her son’s Montclair New Jersey school district have suggested that the children wear “green” for  St. Patricks Day.  But when she had inquired as to what the children could wear for “Black History Month,” or “Martin Luther King Day”….she was flatly told that there was nothing that the children could wear for such annual events in American Society. 

 So Wendy did not say that she would not have her son wear green….or wait a minute …my mind is not clear if she was against him actually wearing the green but I remember Wendy Williams  stating “I have a plan for that day.”   This is a strong woman. 

 She maintains her “HOW YOU DON’IN”  AND “Hee Haw”  for the “Donkey People (folks who do not know how to avoid being used and abused, and coming back for more…or the people  who “steal” other people’s mates etc., etc.,)  But as she states….”At the end of the day …I am a mother and a wife!” 

That is why this whole circumstance of the domestic violence and the Nicole Spence EEO issue  has floored me. 

That is why I looked at Juanita Bynum,  whose “No More Sheets” sermon stirred so many Christian and Non-Christian Believers to stop taking less in life; stop taking less in their personal relationships; and take back from the devil what he stole from them….their pride,  their self esteem,  their will to live,  their joy…..etc., etc..

Believe it or not….Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum have alot in common….They just reach people in a different way.  Juanita Bynum preaches and uses scripture and Wendy Williams uses a SideKick  Charlemene. Wendy Williams also uses her various interactive draws called  Dons and Divas Dances, and  even children in events for Easter  (last year  2007). 

 I did not hear anything about a children Dons and Divas Kiddie affair for 2008—I might have missed it.  Sound Effects,  Ghetto Street Talk, Alternative Life style talk and various genres of communication to preach her message of intelligence. 

 Wendy always tries to tell those who feel like misfits in the current society that they will be accepted on her show. 

 Now,  unfortuneately   I have seen, and heard about the Christian Church…not so nice things on the level of accepting the”misfits of society” based on religious reasons….(((despite Jesus reprimand  of men who wanted to stone the harlot woman for her sins….

Jesus said, “He without sin cast the first stone….and No one cast the stone….they all walked away ashamed.”  Jesus truly turned to the harlot woman and told her to “Go and sin no more,  your sins are forgiven!”  Sometimes this verse is very seldom discussed or preached….I wonder why? 

Well,  any way….I will continue this further later on. 

 But just think about it for a minute….The two women I am comparing and contrasting here are both black,  high powered…..and very, very, very famous in the black community for different reasons…yet they both suffer from domestic violence. 

 But my question still remains….Is it the  effects of the power and the fame on the marriage that causes the stress and the strain? 

 Did these two women,  or other women  permit themselves to stay in bad marriages, or abusive relationships in order to maintain that appearance of SUCCESS to the OUTSIDE WORLD AT LARGE?

 To many Christians,   it does not seem proper to have a broken marriage after telling people how “Jesus can set the sinner free from bondage to death, hell and the grave.” 

It looks odd that Jesus is seemingly unable to prevent two Christians from breaking up, or fighting with each other over serious or silly issues.

  Personality conflicts,  irreconsilible differences that legal documents site for marriage break ups…seem strange in the Christain faith…because we are suppose to look beyond our differences and look at what fits the marriage like glue….JESUS!  

So that is  possibly why the Powerful Juanita Bynum and her abusive marriage/domestic violent episode  is rocking the Christian Church and is so very painful and humiliating to watch, and hear about in the media. 

We want Jesus to fix it.  But see,  it has to be fixed within the two people….they have to both be willing….they have to release the issues that have bound them and then open themselves to healing. 

How difficult is that for such a Powerful Preacher Juanita Bynum and her Powerful preacher husband?

With Wendy Williams,  the struggle is severe but also it takes a different turn.  Wendy’s job as a Radio Shock Jock Journalist, is one in which she constantly opens the private lives of well known celebrities to public view through discussion, or interview. 

Now, listen,  Wendy always states….”I did not do the actual research….I only repeated what I read National Enquirer or  “Life and Style” Magazine.  So you can’t say I had an insider tell me and I let the cat out of the bag.”—Wendy Williams…(paraphrase only) 

No,  but she does discuss celebrity gossip as a major part of her show ~~~~just like I am writing about and comparing and contrasting her and Juanita Bynum. 

 If you do not pass gossip along…then you are not a gossiper….but if you join in on the chain of lies…or truths…or whatever they be….you then cannot say that you are not part of the problem….can you? 

 Example,  Britney Spears personal struggles have been so hightlighted by the media that every body knows that Britney Spears may go out on the town with out underwear on ….to night clubs etc.  How do we all know about that? 

  Because the media gossip columnist and Rag Mags,  and Shock Jocks on the radio, and even the regular news channels are constantly showing pictures, or describing  Britney Spears even doing mundane activities like shopping with a friend.

Thus  Wendy Williams is being trashed by her rivals for being a gossip shock jock and now she is embroiled in her own personal dilemmas. 

 So her rivals on Hot 97 are jumping up and down at her troubles and  Wendy is catching the Heat!  

 Wendy is catching the heat like no one else…except Janet Jackson did after her “wardrobe malfunction” during that football game a couple of years ago. Perfect lovable Janet Jackson made a big mistake and it took several years to live it down. 

 The public is not very forgiving of its’  “American Idols”–so it seems.  Thus the troubles of Wendy Williams—high powered black woman in a high stakes position in the radio and television media/journalism industry….So again I ask…

.Why would her also “black” husband not realize the opportunity they both have to pave the road for young minorities of all races….are the issues in the marriage that severe or that trivial?

  It is like being at the top of a mountain….Let’s say Mount Everest….a very tall mountain upon which you can see the future….and yet you worry about a splinter in your finger!

  To remedy that splinter is easy….but that distance you wish to travel will be a long, long road filled with bumps, valleys, dark places, and bogs….so move forward and not look back.

  It is sad to see our hopefuls that give our youth vision….for the Old Testament states….”Without a Vision the People Perish!” 

  So that is why I  focused on these two women and the men they are married to.  Do they not realize that their lives have impacted on so many generations  to come?  Probably not.

The problem I have with domestic violence is that it appears that the man (any man)  who either rapes a woman,  or beats a woman….uses those extreme methods to have POWER over a situation inwhich the man feels powerless. This is a difficult issue to say the least.

What do you think?

Riveroflifelisajoy

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Why I loved TYLER PERRY’S “WHY DID I GET MARRIED”!

nature-meets-construction-by-riveroflifelisajoy-number-two-scan.jpg

UNIVERSE AND WEAVE IN HARMONY

UNIVERSE AND WEAVE IN HARMONY

 I truly enjoyed this movie.  The black women actresses were fantastic.  None of the Ghetto Mama Drama of which I have grown extremely tired of. 

  I do not know why some movie directors, and HollyWood think that all I want to see is some woman with 10 kids, living in a drug infested neighborhood dodging bullets! 

I was not raised in a apartment…..I grew up in a house, and conversations and arguements and issues arose and were addressed. 

I loved Janet Jackson’s very simplistic way of  acting.  She played her role, and  allowed herself to listen to her co-actors. 

She was great, and was very convincing.  I kept thinking….why hasn’t Janet Jackson done more acting?   I could see her in a docudrama about history, or a biography of some famous black person. 

Come on Janet…..you are more mature as a actress….step it up and move into the roles you deserve!  I wish for Janet all the best!

The actress,  who played the wife of the X-foot ball player(Tasha Smith)….was excellent.  I believe that she also played in T-I’s movie about Atlanta.  Great comedy timing!  She was a sleuth from the West Side!

  Funny lady!  She watched everthing and caught it all!  No body could say anything when she was done with them.  She even stood down two men and a tiny dog—-a little ghetto in delivery….but still clear, concise and exact on her reactions to her co-actors.  Great….I really think that she carried her cast with that comedy.  Although it was a type of “black” comedy….it was still great!

The  overweight black actress(Jill Scott), was great.  She approached her role in a timid way.  She was a sleeping giant. But her issue is too well known by heavy women throughout the world.  Phsyical Health and Mental health in the sense of selfesteem). She was able to translate her pain into  humble glances and low voice tones.  I am a big girl…so I could relate to much of her feeling…..but she did always try to aim high and hope for the best….even if it was not the best for herself. 

The young lawyer who was striving for success was clear and clean in her delivery also. She just seemed clueless as to the problems that her desire to MAKE IT were causing her family.  The actress was also quite convincing in her rejection of her “husband.”  Very good eye contact and  listening to her co-actors and her facial responses were appropriate.  Great black female actresses.

Keep up the great work.

Details that I remember and love from that Movie!  Tyler Perry you are the greatest! 

Follow the list and then go out and get the movie!

  • The X-football player and his wife.
  • The wife (Tasha Smith)   of the X-foot ball player carried the movie with her over the top rants about everthing!
  • Tyler Perry near love scene in bed with his wife(Sharon Leal)—-   convincing look of a man in love—Wonderful!
  • The over weight wife and her cold hearted in your face husband and his cheating evil ways.
  • The handsome Sherrif and his compassionate understanding of a big girl and her need to be accepted as a person….
  • The cute way the overweight rejected wife gave the Sherrif the once over with her eyes….realizing  how handsome he was and her attraction to him while working at the “general store.”
  • The emotional scene that Janet Jackson played in coping with the loss of her  child from a car accident. ( That scene so real….Janet said…No more lies!–It almost seemed that she was talking from experience.)
  • The men talking and bonding scene in which they discuss marriage,  and condom usage….or the lack thereof.
  • The scene when the X-football player and his wife got into a “choke hold over V.D. issues at the dinner table.”
  • The over weightwife coming to realize that her husband was cheating in front of her very eyes and the wine bottle clunk that followed!
  • Tyler Perry totally convinced me that he never ever had that Medea character in him at all!—-TYLER PERRY IS BETTER THAN SO MANY OTHER MEN THAT PLAY THE ROLE OF A WOMAN AND THEN STEP BACK INTO THE ROLE OF A MAN!  —HE WAS CONTROLED AND INTELLIGENT!
  • GIVE TYLER PERRY AN OSCAR FOR HIS WRITING
  • GIVE TYLER PERRY AN OSCAR FOR HIS CONCEPTS
  • GIVE TYLER PERRY AN OSCAR  FOR HIS INTELLIGENT APPROACH TO ALL OF HIS PLAYS, SHOWS AND MOVIES!
  • I respect that man…..I hope for him all of the best!
  • Thank you for the enjoyment.
  • I keep replaying the X-football player and his wife turning point at the dinner table and its serious,  funny impact.
  • The X-football player’s wife has great comedy timing!—Get that woman more roles!

Thank you  —and go get that movie and buy it!  Go to Hollywood Video Rentals!  It is for 2 videos for $10.00 PER MOVIE  in Queens Village New York! ((((I DO NOT MAKE MONEY FOR THE HOLLYWOOD VIDEO PLUG…..I just like the staff there.  They are very pleasant and they always recommend good movies to me!)))) 

Congrats Tyler Perry!  

What a refreshing change from ANOTHER MEDEA MOVIE/PLAY  ya know?

fini—

riveoflifelisajoy

Controversy of the New Governor Paterson: I Need Parental Guidance for the Latest News Stories! Wow! Threesomes….I never thought such Words would be connected to Elected Officials!

   Jay Jewels Cry FOR HUMANITY(Jay Jewels “Cry for Humanity”)

I just can not take it anymore!  I had heard alot of negative things about Spitzer  before this  big mess came to the front.  All I want to know is this.  When he was having these activities where were his security team? 

Look,  I really do not want to discuss Spitzer.  I just want to know why the news papers have to keep making each head line full of words that you do not want to discuss in front of your kids….even your older kids for that matter.

  I am very open  in discussion with my family on many topics.       But the McGreevy issue was so way over the top of my level of existence I was embarressed.  I felt like I had a furtive glance over at the dirty magazine section in the subway newsstand!  I do not know what the future holds! 

What was worse is  that today I saw our new Governor’s wife’s foot bottom with her big toe sticking way out from underneath her leg in a yoga pose on the front of the Daily News!  Is that really neccesary?  Is it required to show every aspect of our elected officials private selves?

  I will not have the bottoms of my feet and big toe photographed just to get a private sector or public service job!  I just do not get it!  Did the legally blind new Governor Paterson cheat on his wife for three years or less? 

 Why did I have to know about it?   I do not believe any one has not cheated …even if it has been emotional cheating.  You know what I mean.  The type of cheating that involves the phone calls to a good “friend” from work. 

 You eat lunch with this person and laugh about job issues, get frustrated together,  complain about the same stuff and cry on each other’s shoulder when the other does not get that much wanted  promotion.  YOu know what I mean!  That job friend that is of the opposite  sex! 

 Emotional committment….days that person is absent from work…are empty days.  Sometimes you might even tell your spouse that you work friend was sick and work slowed up in his or her absence!  You just could not hide your emotions about the empty feeling you had all day.  So now you mope!

Any way,  I digress!  The problem I find in all of this open discussion is that after a while everyone will be found guilty!  Even today in the AOL Black Voices blog….the mayor of Detroit, who is black  is now being told to step down for not telling the truth about his affair! 

 This had nothing to do with his actual job.  But if you have cheated on your spouse, or had an affair you must come clean about it!  Or you face being let go under big,  big,  shame!  “THE SCARLET LETTER HAS RETURNED!”  —for those of you who are literature buffs! 

 Do we have to now tell of the crushes we had as little kids, tweens, teenagers,  then pets we owned,  aunts, uncles, we liked  or did not like?

  Do we have to tell of the time we accepted a gift and then turned around and regifted it because we lied about how much we liked something and really didn’t?  Are there going to be lie detector tests that will analize whether we tell somebody that the dress they brought looks good on them or not and whether we mean it? 

Do you have to now double check yourself and your personal relationships before you apply for a job?  Where will this end?  Public service is truly public isn’t it?  I just can’t take it any more. 

 I do not  want to know so much personal information.  I want to just know that I can get my taxes lowered,  get an increase in my annual pay,  go to college cheaper,  pay for my dental work cheaper….lose weight safely and go on trips in our free country!  Prosititution is not acceptable….definitely not! 

But do I have to see Governor Paterson’s wife’s FEET on page #2 of the Daily News?  Can we leave nothing private?  I never saw Nancy Reagan’s feet,  I never saw Hillary Clinton’s feet,  I never saw Jimmy Carter’s (President Carter’s) wife’s feet! 

 So why is Mrs. Paterson’s life so exposed?  JUST TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!!  JUST LOWER THE RATES OF CAR INSURANCE!

  LOWER THE RATES OF MORTGAGES!  LOWER THE RATES OF HEALTH INSURANCE!  LOWER THE RATES OF TOLLS ON THE BRIDGES,  LOWER THE PRICE OF FOOD….GET THE MYSTERY GARBARGE  ADDITIVES,  OUT OF OUR FOOD.  STOP GLOBAL WARMING, SAVE THE POLAR BEAR,  SAVE THE SEA ANIMALS, STOP DREDGEING THE OCEAN FLOOR AND KILLING OFF THE BARRIER REEFS,  STOP OVER FISHING,  ETC., ETC., ETC.,!  

Can we get back to business please and save the planet and mankind please!  The only bare foot I want to see is that of a homeless person getting shoes and socks put on it! 

AM I WRONG?  PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Thank you.

—-riverolflifelisajoy

TWICE REMOVED- reflections on losing a loved one to skizophrenia — by RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY

hunger-in-a-box.jpgThis picture was painted with water color and it is called “hunger in a box” in August  2007 by riveroflifelisajoy.—It represents the lack of  understanding, and lack of support for the families of those suffering with  skizophrenia in todays  society. 

It is the last and final taboo that no one wants to talk about in 2008  and before.  Maybe things will change as people open up a forum and talk about the dilemmas that are created for the families of the afflicted persons.    

 This  little essay is based on the poem…”Don’t love me too much.–by riveroflifelisajoy (me).    My husband  was a corrections officer for seven years ,  he was hired and had to withstand psychological evaluation and he had passed.

  Yet after seven years of  being a corrections officer at RikersIsland, a father, homeowner,  owner of three cars, and a time share in the Poconos, and husband –we,  He and I  had  stood  looking at the crossroads. 

 We had come to the end of our journey together.  In sickness and in health,  till death do us part.  I even allowed myself to  state that I would honor and obey him to the gasp of all in the church during our wedding.  People were shocked for some reason.

  For today’s women they want to be much more independent than that.  How could I want to honor….but much worse….OBEY?  Malachi?  I  think that the women in the church thought I had brought them back 100 years before the femminist revolution.

  Who cares?  I thought;  Malachi had proven himself trust worthy.  His gentle ways, and care and concern were continuous throughout our 2 1/2  year relationship before our marriage. 

 He gave utmost care and compassion to my mother and her problems with her house.  My Malachi painted the rooms of my mother’s house before he married me. 

 He did not try to take advantage of my mother by asking her for money or loans of any type.   Instead he allowed her to ask him for help which he gave without financial gain.  He told me  that since  I lived with my mother,  that he wanted me in a nice looking house.

  He wanted me happy and healthy.  One day he picked me up from work and then pulled over and proposed to me.  I was warmed and at peace—I said yes.  It was beautiful.

When Malachi became a corrections officer  he  changed  after a  few years on the job.  That job is difficult and stressful.  Things have changed quite a bit from those days (1995)….or so I have heard. 

 Before my  dear Malachi had a  goal to become a minister–but then his attitude began to change after we purchased our home.  He had worked atleast 70 to 80 hours per week of overtime to make the money to buy our home. 

 After that it seemed that the stress took its affect.

Losing him affected me and our child and further more the entire extention of Malachi’s family–His family lived in deep denial and blamed and attacked me on behalf of Malachi. 

His family also was quite well off finanically and could afford to care for him without him taking out social security benefits at the young age of 35 years old.

  They did not want my son to aquire social secuity benefits because I would be the person in charge of the money that would come to my son. I would also be eligible as a legally married woman…which of course I was and still am. 

 My son stood to receive $700.00 per month based on his father’s disability. 

 Therefore,  my mother inlaw bluntly informed me that I was to go back home to my mother because I was going to lose my house; and that I would crawl on the ground for the rest of my life for money.

  I returned home to my mother and I did lose my house. My son has never received “child support”, or the social security benefits that his father should have applied for–but never did.  

 Malachi’s  mother tried to take my son from me by means of ploting and lying.  She did not succeed.   But she  created a lack of family in my son’s life for nine years.

  Instead of the family coming together during Malachi’s time of need…they separated and attacked me. 

 They  combined as a family in order to  assault  me…but separated from me and Malchi’s son.

   I was told by Malachi’s uncle , who was a Assistant Pastor in his church, not to ask for any help.

  I  was left with over two hundred thousand dollars  of  debt. My house  went into foreclosure and I could not sell it without Malachi’s signature;  my son and I moved back to my mother’s house.

  I became emotionally bankrupt…but most of all financially bankrupt.  So Skizophrenia did more than just attack the mind and body of my husband Malachi. 

There have been many crying nights.  But the power   has been in people who have challenged me to continue on and have faith for the best.

But you see my Malachi had been stabbed in the top of his head when he was a corrections officer.  He handled it well at the time…but that did not stop the after affects. 

The illness that he suffered was not caused by the job…but yet it could have been aggrevated nonetheless. 

Malachi had resigned from his job before it was found out that he was sick.  Therefore there was nothing the job was obligated to do for me as the wife,  or Malachi himself.  Such is life.

But I always know that the disease is distructive and takes away loved ones.  See,  my Malachi refused to take medication and his parents agreed. 

 Thus  the missing Malachi.  He walked away from everything and everyone he knew.  He lived a tortured life…believing he was being chased by several unseen to the naked eye–foes.

His life was a good one…yet the family is left to suffer and live on without answers to the unknown….(whether he is dead or alive).

  Unfortunately it is true…most mentally ill people if not on medication become statistics and homeless people on the streets,  jails,  or hospital wards in prisons  for the mentally ill—or worse yet….DEAD. 

 The  mentally ill die on the streets even in the United States ….actually throughout the world.  I will add the facts from a research essay I wrote later on.

For now….till  next blog….

…..hope all is well with you and yours—-riveroflifelisajoy!

“Don’t Love me too much” –haiku prose- by riveroflifelisajoy

still-life.jpg

 ***Oil paint of still life by RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY  8/07 

 ****************************************************

Don’t love me too much

he said, and I held him tighter

You have to love G-d more

I do, I said.

No…you don’t

he said

I grew angry that

he saw through my

tears of fear

I feared loss

I feared loneliness

I feared the emptiness

and empty bed

I loved him

We would embrace

and our “unique” addition

to the Eskimo nose kiss was

our left eye to right eye touch

Our eyes and cheeks would touch

He would flutter his eye lashes on mine

I would try to see within his soul

through my mind’s eye

Don’t love me too much

You have got to love G-d more

We held hands even in our sleep

We would entwine our legs even

in our sleep

We awoke and talked of our

goals

He would jump up and bring

a paper to bed and show me the

plans he had written the day

before

I would look on and think

I  AM  –lucky, or proper term

blessed I was to

have a man with vision

goals and dreams

I would hug him and

close my eyes and

be so happy

I just want to be happy

I said

“It is not about you

It is not about me

It is about what we can do for

others he said

His goals were plain

His goals were simple

Help those around you

Do what you can for the

disadvantaged

Jobs, training,  youth, and

prayer

He wanted to be a minister

He wanted me to be there

A dark cloud approached

and my sunny day faded to

black

I could no longer hug his strong

muscular back

For he was gone

Skizzzz

Soooo

FREAAAAAA

NEEEEEE

YAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

A gutteral,

primitive scream!!!

That horrible disease

destroyed my dream

Darkness took over

tentacles crawled from the

depths of hell

and dragged him down

a so,– so deep well

Don’t love me so much!!

was all I could hear

Take care of my son,

to me you will always be

dear!!!!!

Continue to sing,

and give to the poor

for in that you will not

lose me….ever more!!!!

So I continue to help

I continue to give

Although my arms ache,

the lost love that

I can no longer take

I understand now

I ponder and think

What did he see

beyond that ugly,

ugly, brink?

I have not lost him

when at last I think

he  has been in every

good deed

I will not falter

until my dying day

Although there is no

grave plot

No memorial for him

for that ugly, ugly

monster has  claimed

him from within

He is missing,

traveling a road I can

not find

Missing in body—

missing in mind

SKIZOPHRENIA!

He is gone, for nine years

Don’t love me too much

Hold on to G-d

I did grow strong

I will go on

But I will always

love him

from now on

Do not feel sorry for me

For I have suffered great

loss

But I have no regrets

For great was the love

some would call it soul

mate

I call it a blessing from

above

He was my teacher,

my mentor,

my best friend

my lover

my husband

He had a good and

honorable job

as a Corrections Officer

yet he was taken from me by

illness beyond my control

His goals and dreams never to

be fulfilled

But yet he still lives on

Don’t love me too much

—but I do

———————-Fini’

riveroflifelisajoy

T.D. Jakes: Movie, “WOMAN THOU ART LOOSED!” WHAT A POWERFUL EYE OPENER!!! A MUST SEE FOR EVERYONE!

LIFE STARTS HERE.jpgChildren are pure and simple.

  Adults are children who grew up.

  Why are there so many adults that have forgotten what it was like to be a child? 

What has happened to the hurting children of society? 

 They grow up….and if they are still unaware of circumstance s that have changed their attitudes, and they are not aware of their actions and how it creates the future paths that they take….WOW! 

 You end up with the powerful film that I just saw tonight.  I hesitated to purchase…yes purchase this movie.  I thought it was going to be a sermon for a good long hour or more.  But instead for people who like hard hitting reality type dramas….this is it.  T.D. Jakes plays himself in this movie. 

 But he is so low key that he does not over do it.  He did exactly what a minister is supposed to do…..listen.  T. D. Jakes listened to the actors in their roles and behaviors.  He was excellent! 

 But the worse part of the movie was the child being attacked.  That was too graphic for me. 

I had to fast forward it after I watched the movie for the second time.

  The Woman  thou art loosed may stir up old hurts and old pain for those who have suffered such things as a child.

  The ending is somewhat confusing.  It leaves  it up in the air. 

 But it gave voice to those humanbeings that have suffered in many circumstances in life. 

 It is skillfully acted,  and not too over the top.  It was difficult to watch at times…because it was so brutally raw and real. 

 It was not a true story….but it makes you wonder if maybe there were other reasons for the pain and suffering in the world. 

 It makes you want to give the entire world a hug. 

 Every race has suffered.

  Every race has cried. 

 Every race has wished the sun would not go down on its’ sorrow.

  Every race has prayed for a new begining.

  And all mankind has begged, and pleaded for redemption from suffering. 

 There are no human beings excempt from suffering. 

 Please watch this movie….do not look at the race of the people playing the acting roles

….do not look at T.D. Jakes as a man who has a “black” persepective on the situation. 

  Please take a look. 

 The movie  “Woman Thou Art Loosed”  may just change your perspective on life for the better.

Have a good night!

RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY!

There is Hope for Minister Bynum!!! And Hope for all Marriages!!!

One person can save a marriage.  I read that in a book I found in the  Christian Book Store located  on Queens Boulevard  when I was going through some things with my marriage some years ago.  It is true.  I lived it.  Each situation is different of course. 

 For example,  a Christian marriage should be lead by the spirit of God.  Christians are supposed to be ministers before they are married couples.  We are all supposed to be followers of Christ.  Desciples of the Lord.  We are supposed to bring the truth in love and compassion to non-believers. 

In 2 Corinthians 4: 1-6

God has been kind enough to trust us with this work.  That’s why we never give up.  We don’t do shameful things  that must be kept secret.  And we don’t try to fool anyone or twist God’s message around.  God is our witness that we speak only the truth, so others will be sure that we can be trusted.  If there is anything hidden about our message it is hidden only to someone who is lost. 

The god who rules this world has blinded the minds of unbelievers.  They cannot see the light, which is the good news about our glorious Christ, who shows what God is like.  We are not preaching about ourselves.  Our message is that Jesus Christ is Lord. He also sent us to be your servants.  The scriptures say, “God commanded light to shine in the dark.”  Now God is shining in our hearts to let you know that his glory is seen in Jesus Christ.

Many of us became excited when walked to the alter and go up brand new!  We had spiritual enlightenment!  We came to see that what we thought was fun years ago or even the day before was nothing to compare with the change in our hearts once we received Jesus as our Lord and Savior. 

Some of us began to speak in tongues right away!  Some of us began to heal right away.  Some of us were given the ability to pray or preach right away.  Still others had some growing to do.  But no matter what the growth level, the Lord loves us all equally.  That is why it is so important for all of us not to lose our first Love in Jesus!  He is the reason that our lives  have been changed. 

Once a Christian takes on a ministry it is difficult to  separate that person from the road that he or she must walk.  It is a hard road.  It is a road of being a servant to others. 

 Therefore it is important for the Christians of today to acknowlege that our role in the world is to be a “foot washer”- as Jesus taught the deciples– When considering a marriage partner,  one must look deep inside. 

 One must ask the question, ” How much attention do I believe I deserve?  How much self esteem can I offer to the relationship.  Being a married woman I had to believe in myself.  I had to have faith in myself. 

 In order for someone to love you—You must love YOURSELF!  Conceit is not the discussion.  Pride is definitely not in the picture.  But loving yourself as a Christian means acknowledging the beauty that the Lord sees when he looks at every believer who states that Jesus is Lord! 

 That seed of faith that took hold in your heart that now shines from within is what you love about you!  You  love that  “new person”  that you have become in Christ.  Therefore as a married couple—LOVE—starts from the acknowledgement of Christ  Love Shining from within each partner in the marriage. 

Each partner is to be a representative of the glory of Christ love come to earth for  one another.  There should be no space for an abusive,  domestic violent episode between two believers who have opened their hearts to the Lord. 

However,  there are people who are believers who have been injured and harmed by lifes ups and down.   If a believer decides to take up the role of a marriage  partner,  that person must search and seek answers from the Lord. 

Some pains that  were suffered are deep ugly wounds.  Some have been hidden behind bright cheery smiles.  When  that happens it seems to wait for the most inappropriate time to raise the outburst from a deep wound suffered many years ago.

..but  by a quick thougthless word by one of the Christians in the marriage it would appear that the circumstances become fertile to create a breeding ground for anger,  fear,  resentment,  anamosity, and possibly violence.  These are issues that only a qualified pyschologist,  or pshyicartrist can explain.  But we know as the scripture states

2 Corinthians 4-16

We never give up.  Our bodies are gradually dying, but we ourselves are being made stronger each day.  These little troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory that will make all our troubles seem like nothing.  Things  that are seen don’t last forever, but things  that are not seen are eternal.  That’s why we keep our minds on the things that cannot be seen.

When Ms. Bynum and her husband came together on that night of the beating….the situation was already out of control.  I truly believed that the Lord felt the pain of the couple.  I truly believe that the Lord understands the stressors and strains that were pulling at both the marriage partners that night. 

But I also believe that there is hope.  There are things that each person can do that can change the course that they are on.  Mostly because God loves both of the people that had a severe break in their marriage vows to each other. 

To replace the pain with peace and love will be the test.  But if both want it,  or one wants it.  I believe there is hope.

But first,  the couple must forget the area of being”MARRIED”—-first as Christians we are ALL THE BRIDE OF CHRIST!  So Ms. Bynum and her husband Bishop Thomas need to return to their very, very,  very, first Love!—-JESUS!!! 

 Get reaquainted with the Son of God.  Let him wipe away every tear and heal the deep hurts that are so painful that words cannot express.  Then and only then can a Christain Married couple of any name,  famous or not be brought back together  and heal and mend and be rejoined as ONE FLESH–with a goal of saving souls!!!  

In conclusion for those angry with Minister Bynum and her Husband Bishop Thomas:

Psalm  103:2-12

With all my heart

I will praise the Lord!

I will never forget

how kind he has been.

The Lord forgives our sins,

heals us when we are sick,

and protects us from death.

His kindness and love

are a crown on our heads

Each day that we live

he provides for our needs and

gives us the strength

of a young eagle.

For all who are mistreated,

the Lord brings justice.

He taught hs Law to Moses

and showed all Israel what

he could do.

***The  Lord is mericful!

He is kind and patient,

and his love never fails.

The Lord won’t always be

angry and point out our sins;

he dosen’t punish us

as our sins deserve.

How great is God’s love for all who

worship him?

Greater than the distance between

heaven and earth!

How far has the Lord taken

our sins from us?

Farther than the distance from east

to west!

Let us think as Christians,  as Ministers of the Gospel–for we have all been commissioned to preach the gospel throughout the earth—-that Minister Bynum and her husband need our prayers and the supernatural Agape Love of Christ in all of us,  and through all of us on their behalf.