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Archive for Elder Care and ElderCare Givers

Going Home… Mama Hazel

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The music industry should be used to help people to express themselves.  Why listen  to music that draws no emotion?  If you are getting married then you should have  “getting married  music and songs.  If your best friend got a new job then you should have a great song  for that.

Get the feeling and  be able to cry to your favorite song and vent your emotions to the situation by music.  You will have a healthier life.  Sometimes we hold in our  feelings.  Holding in gas is not  healthy, and  so it is the same  and it  is important  for  people  to release  emotions that  cannot  otherwise be expressed by  words.

It has  always helped me,  although  somewhat painful to express my feelings. But when I hear a song  that  speaks to my  heart  I feel “free”.  So here is a song that I wrote  in honor of  Mother Hazel.  She  passed on Sunday at 2:00 am.  I feel so sad,  but I also feel touched by the memory of her life.

I thank G-d that I had  the opportunity to meet her and  then go to her  house.  Her daughter said,  “I still feel her presence”.  I feel so empty to put how I feel into words.  So  I actually felt more empowered by  being able to  put my feelings into music. I used  LOOPS from  the MAC program in the computer.

So please listen to this  and listen to the story as the song speaks to you.  Mama Hazel was very loved, respected and was a woman of  powerful prayer.  She and her  family helped many people.

They helped the lost,  the down trodden and now  she is  gone but her legacy will live in.  So please think of someone  special in your life and you might miss after they have reached that break in the path that we all must  take one day.

Have a blessed night, and  blessed day.

Mama Hazel you will be missed, but your love and caring  still are felt in the air and anywhere there is a person in need.  I hope that anyone listening  is touched and inspired by this  little song.  Listen closely and you will hear my heart and feelings in this song.

Till next blog…river of life lisajoy.

SLAVERY IN AMERICA: RECENT APOLOGIES AND THE DEBATE ON REPARATIONS

I am  a child of slaves.  I am a child of first generation black Americans to have their own New York City Home.  I am a child of a African American family to be the first  to go to college.  I am a mother of a black child who is first generation to play tennis as his major sport of skill. 

 I am African American wife of  a skizophrenic, (who has been missing for ten years).  I am an African American wife of a African American male skizphonprenic- who has not provided child support for ten years due to his missing status and the RULES that govern the Social Security Administration.

  I am an African American who can not get HEAP HELP (GOVERNMENTAL FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE FOR UTILITY BILLS i.e. Gas and Electric) because the government states that SINGLE PARENT STATUS…EARNING $43,000.00 PER YEAR, PAYING $1600.00 for 3 bedroom apartment in New York City,  paying full utilties of building,  $158.00 per month car insurance,  extremely high milk, juice, fruit, meat,  vegetables,  personal care products,  clothing,  medical needs insurances,  life insurances on my self valued at over $100,00.00 disability insurances on myself (especially since my missing sick husband left me responsible for my child),  catastrophic disease insurances on my self.

Having detailed my financial condition as a 48 yearold African American Daughter of slave ancestors….It would appear that I have the same if not similar problems as my white counter part Americans in some cases. 

 However,  what makes me believe that I do deserve a form if not actual SLAVE REPARATION–is that I would have completed COLLEGE many years ago—if it had not been for BEOG/ PELL AND TAP GRANTS BEING DENIED!  

Those grants were denied me when I was 21 years old!  I had just been accepted into CBS Television Internship Program through Queens College in the Journalism department.  I was registering for my course that was applied to the internship and was told by the college that PELL GRANTS,  BEOG AND TAP Aide had been denied to me because I had used up all of my POINTS! 

 I did not financial aide available!!!  I had ignorantly retaken courses that I had failed  and then passed.  However,  my re-registering for those courses had caused me to use up my points. 

 My Academic Counselor named  Barbara Blank  did not guide me properly,  —I am truly not clear on how this terrible mistake occured.

  Whatever caused this terrible error…caused me to have to leave college after I had already completed 61 credits!!!! 

 The financial aide counselor had discussed the problem with my mother….my African American mother….another daughter of ancestral slaves….My mother whose parents had not been educated higher than elementary school in Virgina (Drakes Branch,  and Farmville Virgina to be exact). 

 My mother had an option explained to her by the financial aide counselor….”Refinance your house so that your daughter could finish college.”

  My mother, descendant of slaves flatly stated,” NO! I am not wasting my mortgage on that!”

  My sister, who did not complete college and who was 6 years older than me– had been whispering into my mother’s ears heavily.

  She did not want me to complete college…because she was jealous and she told my mother  that I becoming a CAREER COLLEGE STUDENT….LEARNING BUT NEVER GRADUATING.

  I was only 21 years  old at that time.  Also CBS television internship supervisor in charge of my internship had promised me a great future!  I had to compete against other people—HUNDREDS! .. inorder to get accepted into that internship!

  I had made an impression on the CBS Internship program…but now!  My financial aide points had run out from Pell Grant,  BEOG,  and TAP were no longer funding my education.

  I could not work to make enough money to pay for those classes,–tuition was a mere $900.00 back then….but it was still to high for a full time college student. 

The final outcome is this….I left college, unable to pay for it. 

 My mother,  daughter of Slave ancestry could not see the benefit of helping me to complete my education because her thinking back then was limited  and poisoned by my sister’s jealousy. 

 Thus  I left college, severly let down….my mother,  daughter of slaves told me to just get a job….My mother could not understand the circumstances that would notw shape my life and her’s forever!

I went to a business school,  I went to Taylor Business Institute!  I learned secretarial skills. ((question–why was I able to get a loan for a trade school and not a college???))

 I was hired by a temp agency and began the long road back to college.  I began paying for my classes one at a time….I was eventually hired full time by J. Michael Bloom Talent Agency. 

 My big mistake was that I got married.  The marriage did not prevent me from being educated…but I began to rearrange my goals around the marriage.  My husband and I did accomplish some goals like buying a house,  and having  a child. 

 My African American husband wanted me to complete college…but coming full circle my husband suffered catastrophic severe skizphrenia and left me with bankruptcy,loss of a home to foreclosure,  and a child to raise.

  I am currently working on a job for the past 19 years that has abosultely NOTHING to do with my original college related goals.  The job  helps pay for food, and rent–barely–. 

 I struggle due to the previous explained debts that I worry about daily. 

 HIND sight is not twenty-twenty for me. 

 I knew that my level of success would not be fulfilled if I could not complete that INTERNSHIP AT CBS AND REGISTER FOR MY CLASSES WHEN I WAS 21 YEARS OLD. 

 However,  not having an educated family,  that would understand the value of an education,  and the financial scarifices required to accomplish that goal…thus here I sit today….BLOGGING…out my frustration. 

My actual, blogging is healthy for me…but it cannot replace the years of economic success I have not ever experienced,  education,  and opportunities that I have missed out on.

  Blogging cannot give me financial power to help cover the debts that HEAP will not help me to pay …because I am just $50 or more dollars over their limit of assistance for a single parent with only 1 (one) child.

  I have been told that I have to have more children to be eligible to receive government assistance. 

The  goal in this article is to explain why SLAVE REPARATIONS would have helped a person like myself. 

 I have been working ever since I had to leave college. 

 Understand that I only left college because I had no money to pay for tuition.  They would not allow me to take a loan….my mother would not refinance her home (which she actually did refinance some years later…so she could make a basment apartment for rental purposes)—I have always pushed to further my education,  I recently partly completed a program NYACK Adult Continuing education–called ORGANIZATIONAL MANAGMENT…I have to pay off about $600.00 and complete three essays to receive my Bachaelor of Science in Organizational Managament. 

 I should have done this two years ago.  So what is the hold up you ask?  I have my child who has been suffering with seizure disorder increasingly over the past two years,  and I also am caring for my mother who has become an invalid and stroke victim over the past 4 years. 

So here I sit.   I am gearing up to complete my 3 essays in the next few weeks and receive my full credit and I can graduate in November of this year. 

I have traveled a long road.  I know there are many others who have traveled a long road as well.

  Do I believe that educational reparations would have helped me….OF COURSE IT WOULD HAVE HELPED ME! 

 My educational goals would not have been tied to my mother’s personal finances..and I would have been able to complete the internship at CBS in Journalism. 

What type of EDUCATIONAL REPARATIONS would I have used you might ask?  Here is my concept of the best form of education reparations for children of ancestral African American Slaves:

  • SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE AND RECEIVE GED/HIGHSCHOOL DIPLOMA
  • MAINTAIN PASSING GRADES IN COLLEGE
  • TAKE REMEDIAL COURSES TO IMPROVE ACADEMICS AND SUCCESSFULLY PASS ALL REMEDIAL COURSES
  • NO—-TERM LIMITS ON EDUCATION
  • STUDENTS MUST ENROLL IN COLLEGE CONSEQUTIVELY—UNLESS EMERGENCY IN FAMILY,  MEDICAL PROBLEMS, FINANCIAL CIRCUMSTANCES TO BE EVALUATED BY REPARATIONS COMMITTEE ON ACADEMIC REPARATIONS
  • SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE BACHELOR OF any ACCREDITED COLLEGE,  IVY LEAGUE,  CITY,  STATE COLLEGE PROGRAM
  • SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE ANY INTERNSHIP PROGRAM
  • SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE ANY TRADE PROGRAM:  ELECTRICAL, PLUMBING, TRUCKING, NURSING, CAR REPAIR AND DESIGN, ETC.,
  • SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE PROGRAMS AND HAVE ACADEMIC GOALS,  AND JOB BOOKLET ON PERSONAL/INDIVIDUAL ASSESEMENT, and RESUME– COMPLETED AT THE END OF EACH SEMESTER.
  • MAINTAIN ATLEAST A — C– AVERAGE…WITH  EXPLANATION OF GRADES AND RESTRAINTS  AND DETAILING PROBLEMS RELATED TO COMPLETION OF ACADEMIC GOALS TO BE EVALUATED DIRECTLY BY ACADEMIC REPARATIONS COMMITTEE.
  • FULL TUITION PAYMENT FOR ALL AFRCIAN AMERICAN SLAVE DECENDANTS
  • FULL TUTITION FOR BACHELOR,  MASTERS PROGRAMS.
  • FULL TUTITION PAID FOR DOCTORATE AFTER PROVIDING 4OOO HOURS OF MENTORING,  PROJECT GIVE BACK, AND EACH ONE TEACH ONE PROGRAMS FOR SUMMER YOUTH AND YOUNG MOTHER PROGRAMS.
  • FULL TUTITION PAYMENTS FOR 2ND BACHELOR DEGREE FOR 7000 HOURS OF MENTORING, PROJECT GIVE BACK, AND EACH ONE TEACH ONE PROGRAMS TO BE DEVELOPED BY THE AFRICAN AMERICAN REPARATIONS PROGRAM.  
  • ALL CANDIDATES MUST SUBMITT DOCUMENTED PROOF OF 3000 HOUR AND 7000 HOUR GIVE BACK AND MENTORING PROGRAMS INORDER TO BE ELIGIBLE  FOR DOCTORATE PROGRAMS AND 2ND DEGREE PROGRAMS.
  • ALL GRADUATES ARE REQUIRED TO GIVE 100 HOURS YEARLY TO TALKS AT ELEMENTARY EDUCATION,  JUNIOR HIGHSCHOOL EDUCATION, HIGHSCHOOL EDUCATION,  AND  COLLEGE PROGRAMS FOR MENTORING AND PASSING ON THE LEGACY OF THE BENEFITS OF EDCUATION AND TAKING THE RESPONSIBILITY OF REPARATIONS AND BECOMING SUCCESSFUL IN ATTAINING ACADEMIC GOALS THAT ARE A STANDARD OF EXCELLENCE IN THE AFRiCAN AMERICAN SLAVE DESCENDANTS.

This is my concept of proper reparations.  I would abide by these rules so that I could have the opportunities to pass on the goals and future that keep America growing and great. 

We as a American Citizens do not need a hand out!  We need a hand UP! Help me to educate myself so that I can help continue the legacy of Pride in the United States as a Super Power in the World.  Help me to educate myself  so that I can give back to the generations to come.

As it stands right now…I can only give this blogg!!!!

  I could do so much more if my education was free…but with RESPONSIBILTY AND DEFINITELY STRINGS ATTACHED.  The type of strings attached will cause success in the future decendants of slaves…but those decendants would eventually be called desendants of SUCCESSFULL AFRICAN AMERICANS WHO HAVE MENTORED, AND GAVE BACK, THEREBY ASSISTING THE UNITED STATES TO MAINTAIN ITS ECONOMIC STRENGTH,  EDUCATIONAL POWER,  LITERACY,  AND GROWTH IN THE WORLD. 

WITH EDUCATION….COMES AN EMPOWERED WORKFORCE THAT CAN STRENGTHEN THE ECONOMY…..CRIME BASED ON ECNOMICS WILL GO DOWN IN MINORITY COMMUNITIES,  BLACK MALES WILL BE INSPIRED TO GATHER RESOURCES AND BECOME MORE SUCCESSFUL AND STRONG.  YOUNG WOMEN WILL GATHER RESOURCES AND BECOME MORE SUCCESSFUL AND STRONG.

The program of reparations needs to be looked at. 

 It may take many years for it to come about. 

 MOst likely not in my life time,  or even my child’s  life time. 

 But the concept does need to be addressed. 

 Maybe my concepts are not all acceptable… there may be better methods of ACADEMIC REPARATIONS.

IN CONCLUSION:

DO NOT GIVE ME THE FORTY ACRES AND AN MULE….

I WANT A FREE….RESPONSIBILITY ACADEMIC BASED REPARATION FOR DESCENDANTS OF AFRICAN SLAVES. 

(((JOBS WILL COME WITH AN EDUCATED WORK FORCE!!!))) 

 NOTE…MANY EUROPEAN COUNTRIES MAKE EDCUATION FREE  FOR ALL!!!!

REPARATIONS ON AN ACADEMIC LEVEL WILL IMPROVE  THE QUALITY OF LIFE AND ECONOMIC STANDING OF THE UNITED STATES AS A SUPER POWER  AND ALSOIN THE GLOBAL ECONOMY AS WELL.

“`RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY

A Thought Provoked….

Old Fabric by RiveroflifelisajoyUpon my bed I lay

eyes shut and dreaming

my mind spins in time with

my breathing

Breathe deep and then

it feels shallow,

possibly a cold or bronchitis

The day eventful, loss of pay

loss of my goals

just for today

Looking at the gray clouded sky

outside my window in this

my dream,

I think, what if…..just what if

I could not see?

What if, I could not be me?

What if I could not raise my hand

to wipe away that bit of sand

on my brow or my feet?

What if  I had to wait

and wait, and wait

for someone to raise my body

to feed me, or clothe me?

What if I could not speak?

If I were always very, very ill and

weak?

What if this thought provoked by

my mother,

her talks about life to me

 Make me contimplate my possible destiny

had I not been born

though not wealthy at all

to this family that struggled

through and

buried our loved ones one or two

over the years.

Being wrapped up like kitten in

side a ball of yarn.

The thoughts provoked create 

a fresh fortress for my hurt and my

pain.

 What if,  after all is over,  I am

desolate, dead and alone in

my grave

What if,  time does not stand

still, but continues on in some

twilight realm

With a strange and eerie

cloud of purple   mist

A little boat cresting on the

floating purple cloud

but then I awake

from my bed and sleepiness

I must shake

My thought provoked

my dreams dare lead

me to the shallows of

the marshy swamps

with quick sand laid

to suck me under

to the realm of the purple

mist, My hurt to battle

without sword or shield

What if, what if!

I had not driven up that road

I had not eaten that pear

I had not said that phrase

What if I dare say what if

I could replay, restate and

forgive myself for what I

said to you, my friend

this day!

For from clay I am made

but from the iron of my family ancestory..

for endurance

 at my core

 I must

regain my strength

to move forward

and not ponder

the thought provoked.