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MINISTER JUANITA BYNUM AND SHOCK JOCK WENDY WILLIAMS OF WBLS 107.5–WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO WHEN IT COMES TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Before I proceed allow me to explain.  It is important to understand this one major point.  NO WOMAN SHOULD BE ABUSED FOR ANY REASON AT ALL!  NO HUMANBEING SHOULD BE ABUSED FOR ANY REASON AT ALL!

   Now,  I will proceed.  I looked at the blogs and news paper articles on Minister Juanita Bynum and her marriage abuse/domestic violence episode that is ripping her marriage and ministry. 

Then I looked at Wendy Williams of the Wendy Williams Experience, and her EEO case with Nicole Spence involving her husband Kevin Hunter and –the domestic violence episodes that are threatening her very lucrative career. 

 I began to wonder.  Wendy has a following of faithful listeners, and Juanita Bynum has a following of faithful listeners TOO! 

Strange huh?!  Except Wendy does not preach the Gospel. 

 Wendy has a daily four hour show that goes from  2:00 P.M. until 7:00 P.M. .  Juanita Bynum has a church,  has CDs,  DVD’s for sale,  she tours the country and many, many other options for reaching her flock of faithful followers! 

 The obvious similarity is that they are both HIGH POWERED TYPE- A- PERSONALITY BLACK WOMEN! 

Who can rival them?—–THEIR HUSBANDS! 

 Both Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum are both powerful black women that stand tall and stong in their own work and careers.

 Yet they are challenged by the problems of domestic violence in their home ((((which is being displayed publicly))) despite their efforts to keep private pain private. 

 Why are their husband’s possibly challenging these two strong women in their careers? 

Why would  the  husbands  of these two very opposite…yet equally powerful and influential women–  allow their private marital behavior jeopardize their very successful wives in the year 2007 and 2008? 

  Let us think for a  moment….As  African Decent  women,  Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum have come a long way and have taken the lead within the black community in the United States, and possibly even in the world and the “global economy!” **Not to mention Ophra of course***

 Wendy Williams was broadcasting from California today!  She attracts all walks of life,  despite her sporadic rants about “white people” and her blackness.

  She recently complained about how her son’s Montclair New Jersey school district have suggested that the children wear “green” for  St. Patricks Day.  But when she had inquired as to what the children could wear for “Black History Month,” or “Martin Luther King Day”….she was flatly told that there was nothing that the children could wear for such annual events in American Society. 

 So Wendy did not say that she would not have her son wear green….or wait a minute …my mind is not clear if she was against him actually wearing the green but I remember Wendy Williams  stating “I have a plan for that day.”   This is a strong woman. 

 She maintains her “HOW YOU DON’IN”  AND “Hee Haw”  for the “Donkey People (folks who do not know how to avoid being used and abused, and coming back for more…or the people  who “steal” other people’s mates etc., etc.,)  But as she states….”At the end of the day …I am a mother and a wife!” 

That is why this whole circumstance of the domestic violence and the Nicole Spence EEO issue  has floored me. 

That is why I looked at Juanita Bynum,  whose “No More Sheets” sermon stirred so many Christian and Non-Christian Believers to stop taking less in life; stop taking less in their personal relationships; and take back from the devil what he stole from them….their pride,  their self esteem,  their will to live,  their joy…..etc., etc..

Believe it or not….Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum have alot in common….They just reach people in a different way.  Juanita Bynum preaches and uses scripture and Wendy Williams uses a SideKick  Charlemene. Wendy Williams also uses her various interactive draws called  Dons and Divas Dances, and  even children in events for Easter  (last year  2007). 

 I did not hear anything about a children Dons and Divas Kiddie affair for 2008—I might have missed it.  Sound Effects,  Ghetto Street Talk, Alternative Life style talk and various genres of communication to preach her message of intelligence. 

 Wendy always tries to tell those who feel like misfits in the current society that they will be accepted on her show. 

 Now,  unfortuneately   I have seen, and heard about the Christian Church…not so nice things on the level of accepting the”misfits of society” based on religious reasons….(((despite Jesus reprimand  of men who wanted to stone the harlot woman for her sins….

Jesus said, “He without sin cast the first stone….and No one cast the stone….they all walked away ashamed.”  Jesus truly turned to the harlot woman and told her to “Go and sin no more,  your sins are forgiven!”  Sometimes this verse is very seldom discussed or preached….I wonder why? 

Well,  any way….I will continue this further later on. 

 But just think about it for a minute….The two women I am comparing and contrasting here are both black,  high powered…..and very, very, very famous in the black community for different reasons…yet they both suffer from domestic violence. 

 But my question still remains….Is it the  effects of the power and the fame on the marriage that causes the stress and the strain? 

 Did these two women,  or other women  permit themselves to stay in bad marriages, or abusive relationships in order to maintain that appearance of SUCCESS to the OUTSIDE WORLD AT LARGE?

 To many Christians,   it does not seem proper to have a broken marriage after telling people how “Jesus can set the sinner free from bondage to death, hell and the grave.” 

It looks odd that Jesus is seemingly unable to prevent two Christians from breaking up, or fighting with each other over serious or silly issues.

  Personality conflicts,  irreconsilible differences that legal documents site for marriage break ups…seem strange in the Christain faith…because we are suppose to look beyond our differences and look at what fits the marriage like glue….JESUS!  

So that is  possibly why the Powerful Juanita Bynum and her abusive marriage/domestic violent episode  is rocking the Christian Church and is so very painful and humiliating to watch, and hear about in the media. 

We want Jesus to fix it.  But see,  it has to be fixed within the two people….they have to both be willing….they have to release the issues that have bound them and then open themselves to healing. 

How difficult is that for such a Powerful Preacher Juanita Bynum and her Powerful preacher husband?

With Wendy Williams,  the struggle is severe but also it takes a different turn.  Wendy’s job as a Radio Shock Jock Journalist, is one in which she constantly opens the private lives of well known celebrities to public view through discussion, or interview. 

Now, listen,  Wendy always states….”I did not do the actual research….I only repeated what I read National Enquirer or  “Life and Style” Magazine.  So you can’t say I had an insider tell me and I let the cat out of the bag.”—Wendy Williams…(paraphrase only) 

No,  but she does discuss celebrity gossip as a major part of her show ~~~~just like I am writing about and comparing and contrasting her and Juanita Bynum. 

 If you do not pass gossip along…then you are not a gossiper….but if you join in on the chain of lies…or truths…or whatever they be….you then cannot say that you are not part of the problem….can you? 

 Example,  Britney Spears personal struggles have been so hightlighted by the media that every body knows that Britney Spears may go out on the town with out underwear on ….to night clubs etc.  How do we all know about that? 

  Because the media gossip columnist and Rag Mags,  and Shock Jocks on the radio, and even the regular news channels are constantly showing pictures, or describing  Britney Spears even doing mundane activities like shopping with a friend.

Thus  Wendy Williams is being trashed by her rivals for being a gossip shock jock and now she is embroiled in her own personal dilemmas. 

 So her rivals on Hot 97 are jumping up and down at her troubles and  Wendy is catching the Heat!  

 Wendy is catching the heat like no one else…except Janet Jackson did after her “wardrobe malfunction” during that football game a couple of years ago. Perfect lovable Janet Jackson made a big mistake and it took several years to live it down. 

 The public is not very forgiving of its’  “American Idols”–so it seems.  Thus the troubles of Wendy Williams—high powered black woman in a high stakes position in the radio and television media/journalism industry….So again I ask…

.Why would her also “black” husband not realize the opportunity they both have to pave the road for young minorities of all races….are the issues in the marriage that severe or that trivial?

  It is like being at the top of a mountain….Let’s say Mount Everest….a very tall mountain upon which you can see the future….and yet you worry about a splinter in your finger!

  To remedy that splinter is easy….but that distance you wish to travel will be a long, long road filled with bumps, valleys, dark places, and bogs….so move forward and not look back.

  It is sad to see our hopefuls that give our youth vision….for the Old Testament states….”Without a Vision the People Perish!” 

  So that is why I  focused on these two women and the men they are married to.  Do they not realize that their lives have impacted on so many generations  to come?  Probably not.

The problem I have with domestic violence is that it appears that the man (any man)  who either rapes a woman,  or beats a woman….uses those extreme methods to have POWER over a situation inwhich the man feels powerless. This is a difficult issue to say the least.

What do you think?

Riveroflifelisajoy

Why I loved TYLER PERRY’S “WHY DID I GET MARRIED”!

nature-meets-construction-by-riveroflifelisajoy-number-two-scan.jpg

UNIVERSE AND WEAVE IN HARMONY

UNIVERSE AND WEAVE IN HARMONY

 I truly enjoyed this movie.  The black women actresses were fantastic.  None of the Ghetto Mama Drama of which I have grown extremely tired of. 

  I do not know why some movie directors, and HollyWood think that all I want to see is some woman with 10 kids, living in a drug infested neighborhood dodging bullets! 

I was not raised in a apartment…..I grew up in a house, and conversations and arguements and issues arose and were addressed. 

I loved Janet Jackson’s very simplistic way of  acting.  She played her role, and  allowed herself to listen to her co-actors. 

She was great, and was very convincing.  I kept thinking….why hasn’t Janet Jackson done more acting?   I could see her in a docudrama about history, or a biography of some famous black person. 

Come on Janet…..you are more mature as a actress….step it up and move into the roles you deserve!  I wish for Janet all the best!

The actress,  who played the wife of the X-foot ball player(Tasha Smith)….was excellent.  I believe that she also played in T-I’s movie about Atlanta.  Great comedy timing!  She was a sleuth from the West Side!

  Funny lady!  She watched everthing and caught it all!  No body could say anything when she was done with them.  She even stood down two men and a tiny dog—-a little ghetto in delivery….but still clear, concise and exact on her reactions to her co-actors.  Great….I really think that she carried her cast with that comedy.  Although it was a type of “black” comedy….it was still great!

The  overweight black actress(Jill Scott), was great.  She approached her role in a timid way.  She was a sleeping giant. But her issue is too well known by heavy women throughout the world.  Phsyical Health and Mental health in the sense of selfesteem). She was able to translate her pain into  humble glances and low voice tones.  I am a big girl…so I could relate to much of her feeling…..but she did always try to aim high and hope for the best….even if it was not the best for herself. 

The young lawyer who was striving for success was clear and clean in her delivery also. She just seemed clueless as to the problems that her desire to MAKE IT were causing her family.  The actress was also quite convincing in her rejection of her “husband.”  Very good eye contact and  listening to her co-actors and her facial responses were appropriate.  Great black female actresses.

Keep up the great work.

Details that I remember and love from that Movie!  Tyler Perry you are the greatest! 

Follow the list and then go out and get the movie!

  • The X-football player and his wife.
  • The wife (Tasha Smith)   of the X-foot ball player carried the movie with her over the top rants about everthing!
  • Tyler Perry near love scene in bed with his wife(Sharon Leal)—-   convincing look of a man in love—Wonderful!
  • The over weight wife and her cold hearted in your face husband and his cheating evil ways.
  • The handsome Sherrif and his compassionate understanding of a big girl and her need to be accepted as a person….
  • The cute way the overweight rejected wife gave the Sherrif the once over with her eyes….realizing  how handsome he was and her attraction to him while working at the “general store.”
  • The emotional scene that Janet Jackson played in coping with the loss of her  child from a car accident. ( That scene so real….Janet said…No more lies!–It almost seemed that she was talking from experience.)
  • The men talking and bonding scene in which they discuss marriage,  and condom usage….or the lack thereof.
  • The scene when the X-football player and his wife got into a “choke hold over V.D. issues at the dinner table.”
  • The over weightwife coming to realize that her husband was cheating in front of her very eyes and the wine bottle clunk that followed!
  • Tyler Perry totally convinced me that he never ever had that Medea character in him at all!—-TYLER PERRY IS BETTER THAN SO MANY OTHER MEN THAT PLAY THE ROLE OF A WOMAN AND THEN STEP BACK INTO THE ROLE OF A MAN!  —HE WAS CONTROLED AND INTELLIGENT!
  • GIVE TYLER PERRY AN OSCAR FOR HIS WRITING
  • GIVE TYLER PERRY AN OSCAR FOR HIS CONCEPTS
  • GIVE TYLER PERRY AN OSCAR  FOR HIS INTELLIGENT APPROACH TO ALL OF HIS PLAYS, SHOWS AND MOVIES!
  • I respect that man…..I hope for him all of the best!
  • Thank you for the enjoyment.
  • I keep replaying the X-football player and his wife turning point at the dinner table and its serious,  funny impact.
  • The X-football player’s wife has great comedy timing!—Get that woman more roles!

Thank you  —and go get that movie and buy it!  Go to Hollywood Video Rentals!  It is for 2 videos for $10.00 PER MOVIE  in Queens Village New York! ((((I DO NOT MAKE MONEY FOR THE HOLLYWOOD VIDEO PLUG…..I just like the staff there.  They are very pleasant and they always recommend good movies to me!)))) 

Congrats Tyler Perry!  

What a refreshing change from ANOTHER MEDEA MOVIE/PLAY  ya know?

fini—

riveoflifelisajoy

# 3 Article on the Topic*****What Happened Wendy? Why do Women settle For Domestic Violence? You can Bail on Kevin Hunter! **Wendy Williams Under Fire**–

Life Starts Here—Painted by RiveroflifelisajoyLook,  I have been reading other blogs and I do not want to be too harsh…so I will roll this blog a bit ganster!  Ya heard me?!

 Yo,  Wendy Williams….Queen of All Media!  You always be rockin’  GO HARD OR GO HOME!—Wuzzzzz—Up?  Wendy? 

Yo,  You speak about not being a donkey!  I can’t believe that you allowed yourself to be treated like a donkey to keep the family together?! 

So many of us women black or white have been allowing ourselves to sacrifice our health, minds, wealth, and dignity for the look of a family! 

  Are you tellin’ me that you allowed your husband to hurt you?  Please,  tell me you are stronger than that Wendy! 

 Please don’t let yourself down, and don’t permit others to  including husbands,  so-called friends, relatives bring you down  either! 

Word is born….( meaning honestly)  **** I really believe that you are innocent until proven guilty!  I want to believe the best of you and for you. 

But if your husband alledgedly did something foul, and disgusting to another humanbeing ….don’t cover for him.

  Cover for your child that is a much more important issue.    Stand for what is right and your child will remember that for the rest of his life. 

Tell the truth and move on in whatever state that will be…..But atleast you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror every morning YO! 

 Listen,  life is wrought with various pit falls…you know that already—-So whats up with the unnecessary behavior of your husband (((if that is true?))) 

Why would you permit him (((your husband Kevin Hunter)))  to carry on like that? 

 Why would you act like that yourself?! 

  Listen since you have a radio show  that is supposed to be for entertainment purposes  only…so I always took it as a “joke” —journalism with a wink of an eye! 

I did not think that you were REALLY  that — COLD HEARTED—are you? !  

I defended you in my first few articles because I did not like what Ms. Jones in the Morning said on  Hot 97 about you and you being CHOKED  by your husband.

  If that is true,  I hope you are alright. 

If it is not I wish those who like yellow journalism would receive the punishment that they deserve for selling lies, and falsehoods.

ON the question of Nicole and abuse at work….You always spoke highly of her…..Every situation has more than one side….but I hope that you  are not allowing yourself to be railroaded.

  But if you did maltreat Nicole come clean now…..settle and don’t fight it out….Be honest.

 Watch the LITTLE KIM issue….don’t put yourself in jeopardy!!! 

Please Wendy….I know you worked too hard to let yourself go down in such a dogged out donkey way!!!!  

  Think about it!!!!!! Wendy….really!

Treat people like you want to be treated.  If you did wrong correct the problem by apoloizing and offering whatever finanicial repayment that is necesary. 

Think about it…please.

Remember Wendy Williams….you are a one of a kind….along with Ms.  Jones….future women journalist are watching and learning from your mistakes. 

All others give your reply—-if you think you need to.

Peace out—-Riverof lifelisajoy

# 1 — Ariticle on the topic****The Masterful Queen and King of the Shock Jocks—The Wendy Williams Experience—Wendy Williams and Side Kick Charlemane!!!! Forever on Top! Put that Back there Ms. Hot 97…Jones in The Morning!!!!

Life Starts Here—Painted by Riveroflifelisajoy

 I can’t write now…not until I get the full details.  But,  listen Wendy Williams…..Stay our Talk Show Host for the Inner City Adults!  We need our personal views, opinions, and problems to have a voice!  Take care and I will  write more….Inspirational of course!

Okay, I am back.  Let me start this off right!  Like Wendy says during her talk show on WBLS 107.5  “Go Hard or Go Home!”   —Well this is how I came to know of the Wendy Williams talk show… I was sick. 

 I really just had this terrible big toe infection.  They wanted to cut off that big stupid toe!  I had an open wound on my big left toe.  What a trauma for a Lady who loved the nail salons!

Well, this is not about my big stupid toe….so let us move forward into my topic.  The Toe kept me home for about 4 months….but what was I doing  when I was waiting to pick my son up from school? 

 I would sit in my car and listen to this Crazy Shock Jock….D. J. Wendy Williams and her side kick Artie….life of the party!  Wendy had multiple personalities…that she would portray on the radio.

  Wendy would laugh,  and cry,  and drag you into her world of Zany thoughts, fears,  truths, “Toe is a Toe Analogies and the like!  I would laugh, and laugh and forget about my big stupid unhealed toe!  I would love to listen to Wendy like a soap opera!

  I couldn’t wait to hear her next arguementive interview!  She would have the HAWK sweep down in sound effects on her celebrity guest and I would just giggle  away the time while waiting  to pick up my son from school. 

 Her show became my secret time for myself to enjoy   stories, celebrity gossip and adult conversation even about sex, or sexual issues,  and external beauty from weaves, to hair clips and wigs!

 The best stuff that Wendy would talk about is our brothers and sisters who lead an alternative life style….I learned so much just from listening!  Wendy’s ‘HOW YOU DOIN’ was such a funny catch all phrase!

   I would sit there and try to say it too!—-But only to myself! 

 Artie her side kick a couple of years ago was rather strange with that Toe is a Toe issue….I could not quite grasp that concept….but it was interesting to hear how other people out side of my circle of thought —-really thought about life and relationships!  ….Especially black people. 

You see,  most humans that are not black skinned do not understand the varieties of people in the black community.  We have different views on so many topics in life….black is only a skin color….but it does not mean that we all eat or drink the same foods…like some other groups of people  might appear to do.  Because look, lets’  be honest….most of the ideas we have about each other are Sterotypes. 

 Well lets get back to my favorite Shock Jock Wendy Williams and her side Kick Charlemane!  The bottom line is this.  The other morning I was driving along and I heard Ms. Jones of Hot 97 making statements and saying Wendy Williams name and description of a terrible personal/business issue. 

 But Ms. Jones was apparently enjoying Ms. Wendy Williams problem.  (Now first of all….no disrespect to Ms.  Jones….because she is also a shock jock of a lesser level because she tends to have less interactive journalistic skills than Wendy Williams.  The difference is that Wendy Williams is investigative in her approach, whereas Ms. Jones accepts people’s ( I should say celebrity guest answers as gospel truth)  Wendy digs for the truth just like a dog digs for a bone! Sometimes Wendy’s celebrity guest get up and run from the room in the middle of an interview!  So much fun!   What they are getting is exposure!   

 I am wondering….if Ms. Jones went to college like Wendy Williams did? 

 Wendy Williams is a college educated Woman.  Are all radio DJ’s college educated?

  I just noticed that Wendy appears to have a lot of polish in her delivery.  Wendy Williams also tries to be creative in her shows.  To be fair to Ms. Jones…she does some funny skits…but the “Carmen”  who calls people on the telephone jack is getting a bit boring!  ****Charlemane —play the China “Hey” and the “crikets”!

—Let  us continue on….When I heard Ms. Jones making disrespectful, jokes about Wendy Williams alleged  domestic violence, and sexual problems with a co-worker and her husband….  I don’t know if it is really proper to make jokes about something that you are not completely sure is true on the radio….but it just did not work for me.  I thought it was rude. 

 But I did hear Ms. Jones  state that she is close to P.Diddy….  and Wendy Williams has a working business professional relationship with P. Diddy due to some bad blood issues in the past between them—so maybe that is the reason for the GREASY  statements…..The next morning on my way to work. 

 Ms. Jones continued being inappropriate in her delivery of a so-called news story that no one knows for sure is true about Wendy or not.

  I did not like it.  It bothered me…because it appeared that this was fake…or such a desparate attempt and descrediting Wendy Williams, in hopes of breaking her strong spirit that I actually felt sorry….not for Wendy…..but I felt sorry for Ms. Jones! 

—-But wait—-was a plot or plan just to prepare all of us for Wendy’s up coming movie?  I wonder!!!!

 I did not realize that Wendy was such a thorn in Ms. Jones side that she had to discuss her news worthy problems on air and even elude to stating….”go back on drugs” in reference it would seem to Wendy regarding her well known….book and movie detail about her drug addiction issues—to which one of  Ms. Jones sidekicks  Michael Shawn (sorry about the spelling) 

told her  “No…don’t say that!” Ms. Jones,  apparently is not as happy as she has stated about her recent marriage and all like that.

  So what you guys work for different radio stations….is it that serious to wish someone….another humanbeing to take a drug….which would be their down fall? 

Would you really make a comment like that? 

 Do you think that over the top grease would get people to continue to listen to your program? 

OHHHHH….. That is right….Most shock jocks…say things for shock value any way? 

Well, true that….well then read this….Grow up Ms. Jones…you are not in junior highschool any more!

  No Wendy Williams does not need to entertain your sad response to the allegations that I am not sure are true or a lie….but  to be fair….don’t wish another human being to become a drug addict….IT IS JUST NOT COOL! 

 Wendy is funny,  sometimes  also a bit mean on the radio, and her opinions are not all that I would agree with…..but she does give food for thought! 

 Ms.  Jones you just reminded me of a 14 year old girl or dislikes another girl and strikes at her weakness…but purely for the evil fun of it.

  Look…..Wendy Williams is a mother, and so is Ms. Jones ….they both hail from African American Families….but why go out to distroy each other?

 What is the point? 

 We as a black community need to come together and begin to heal from within!  That we must start on our own…..don’t you agree…..Ms. Jones?

Wendy Williams has interns,  and college scholarship programs…. Ms. Jones In the Morning Hot 97—What are you offering young minorities in our diaspara of African,  Hispanic and mixed raced Young men and Women…..All you can say is to “Go back on Drugs—–???????”  

Ms. Jones….you may not like a person….but you do not have to wish evil….but I guess you were just being the GREAT Shock Jock of Hot 97! 

Well,  Wendy Williams Experience  has always been a friend in my head.  I met Wendy in the Barnes and Nobles at the Book Signing for “Drama is her middle Name”–I took my son and told her his name. 

 She said that is a nice name.  I told her that she had helped me through of rough time when I was ill by making me laugh.  I left and went home with my signed book.  I was happy and glad that I got to meet the face behind the radio show.

  I just want Wendy to stay on the air.  I wish her well in all that she does.  I hope she continues to strive to be the best.

Go Hard on Everything Wendy Williams Experience and Charlemane  stay by her side…..P.S.  I wish they could extend to hours from 2pm to 8pm!!!  I know…Vaughn comes on at 7pm!  LOLOLO!!!!

—-Riveroflifelisajoy

With the Free CONDOMS….Do I get a free guest pass to the Motel Too?–Reflections on Free Condoms in the HighSchools!

LIFE STARTS HERE.jpgI understand the goal of the school system.  I just do not comprehend the where and the how of it all.  I am a Baby Boomer!  My mother was very strict and I did not have my first boyfriend until I was 21 years old. 

 Yep, you guessed it…Late Bloomer, Baby Boomer.  I was born in 1961!  The Kennedy Era….blacks were still being treated like 3rd class citizens and society was still quite “Judeo/Christian” in its ethics and views of the American Society and the global outlook on things strange and foreign. 

 So with all that being said,  I am still a child of the “strict Judeo Christian Ethic”  I do not like to have conversations ab0ut overt sex, sex play, or lifestyles.  What I mean is that I am considered a person who is quite conservative in my values on life in general.

  However,  I have been concerned only about the goals of myself as a mother and leader in my family.  My personal views do not involve the rights, or lack of rights of another person unless their rights impringe on my personal assumed or legal rights as it were. 

 So again I ask this silly, silly question,  Does the giving out of free condoms to highschool students come with free passes to the local motel,  a booklet on sex,  proper hygenic sex,  sex education, and levels of sex methods, and proper treatment of one’s sexual partner? 

Do not give a person socks without shoes!  The condom is only part of the equation as far as I am concerned.  But I guess the “Powers that Be”– believe that highschool kids have that mentality of “Where there is a will there is a way?”

  In a back alley,  a park,  their parent’s house or whatever location that would be demoralizing to both parties engaged in sexual intercourse in some illegal public place if they were to get caught in a compromising “position” by a representative of law and order (if you know what I mean.) 

So if condoms are being handed out….what about books,  proper cleaning of genital areas,  books on crabs, genital warts, sexual life choices,  sexually transmitted diseases, Aids awareness packets, and procreation booklets as well as the most difficult topic of all —–abortion. 

For as we all know…..the condom,  the spermicide, the gels, the sponges, the pills, the “bandaides that are placed out of sight on the female body” do not always work. 

The purchase of the condom can be done at any time.  The saving of a young life from disease, or date rape is more difficult.  Teaching teenages about respect of one’s partner, or “domestic violence”,  NO, MEANS NO, and  pregnancy should be a mandate in all United States schools. 

 My son learned about his body parts, and sexual organs in Grace Lutheran Church and School, in the 4th grade.  I was upset at first and I asked the principal “Why”?  Now?  He is so young…..I still wanted him to believe in Santa Claus and Charlie Brown, the Easter Bunny and all of those fun child like things! 

 But instead a religious school that I paid $300 per month to was teaching about God and his private parts!  Ugh!!!! I was not ready for my 10 year old to start that discussion. 

Look,  I am not a prude.  I grew up with alot of pets!  I have had dogs that we owned that procreated in our yard and then we would have to throw water on them with they got “stuck”. 

  My son grew up with dogs also.  He is now 14 years old.  He was Zero to 13 living with our pets.   He had seen the dogs stuck together in the yard and came running telling me that something was wrong with the two dogs.

  I ran to the embarressing scene only to find the dogs looking equally embarressed as I was.   I would deal with the dogs and then I was left with the discussion of what that was called, and how that happend….which to be honest….I have still not understood why that “sticking” thing happens with dogs….but anyway…I digress. 

 I just did not want my son to get ALL of the details at9.  I thought 12 years old was better.  But what caused me to relax was the great principal Mrs. Lloyd. 

 Mrs. Lloyd said to my very, very, anxious teary eyed face…..”Mrs. Riveroflifelisajoy,  Don’t you want your child to be aware of his body and his rights over his body? Just because we are Christian does not mean that we should be naive about our bodies,  and neither should our children. 

This class will help possibly prevent the child from being lured into a sex abuse issue,  do you understand?  We have to teach them, and that helps them to understand the dangers.  We do not want to frigthen the children,  we want to arm them with knowlege not ignorance.”  

 After that talk, I calmed down.  I thought about what she said.  I thought back on my own personal experiences, and I realized she was right. 

 So I say all that to say this…..SCHOOLS SHOULD GIVE MANY, MANY, MANY, VARIOUS COURSES ON SEXUAL EDUCATION.  Do not just teach what a condom is….tell what will happen if it is not used properly,  take the boys to the side and show proper application,  take the girls to the side and show the various sexual safety products like female condoms too. 

Let the schools hire trained professionals that will treat this teaching professionally, and respectfully.  No matter what the teenagers sexual preference….SAFE SEX MUST BE TAUGHT FROM  9TH GRADE THROUGH 12 GRADE. 

That might be a better option than JUST giving out a condom.  Safe sex and sex relations and sex products for procreation, and abortion/prolife should be held at the begining of the school term for atleast one week as part of the core curriculum. 

 Most of the ignorance is continued by lack of knowledge in the American Society and  country.  The United States is a Super Power……why are our children more aware of Disney World, Disney Land,  video games,  popular music and the like….but ignorant on their own bodies, the risks of sexual activity, the pros and cons of birth control, and pregnancy vs. prolife/prochoice?

I would hope that my voice will be heard.  Look,  if a religious school realizes how important it is for their students to have CONTROL over their bodies….because that control over one’s body actually does control one’s future and destiny…..why not let all schools create a program that will teach and do no harm?

  With proper guidance and education maybe our children, and their children’s children will have the option to decrease abortions,  aides, and domestic violence.  It will not solve the world’s problems, but it will be an assist to the world overall.

—–RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY

Candida Just Wanted to Meet the Man of Her Dreams –Attacked on a Date–non/fiction story

Chinese Ink through Time by RiveroflifelisajoyCandida had been a freshman in the second semester of Queens College.   She met a very tall, good looking guy called Donado in the main building of the college one day.  She saw him after he saw her it would seem.

  She was walking and he approached her and said “Hello!  How are you doing today?”  She was taken back because she was deep in thought about issues of the day.   He was with friends.  She was surprised that  he would talk to her. 

 She was naturally shy and withdrawn.  They walked across the campus to her next class.  She gave Donado her telephone number and they talked on the phone that night.   He was very, very tall.  She was only 5’2″. 

 Her mother said that he seemed a bit too tall for her.  She did not care.  He seemed nice.  They ate lunch at college together.  One weekend Donado invited Candida to go to the KingsPlaza Mall in Brooklyn where he lived. 

 Candida, being some what  sheltered she was nervous when she had to take the long train ride to Brooklyn,  and had thoughts of sitting in the movie theatre and having something to eat in the mall with her new “boyfriend”.  This would be her first boyfriend. 

 Her mother would not allow her to date in junior highschool, or highschool.  No one ever had called the house when she was growing up.  Although she was in college,  she knew she had a lot more to learn then just academics!

 She had told her mother that she would be going to Brooklyn to have lunch and a movie with Donado. Her mother gave her the usual warnings about safety.

  When she came out of the subway she saw Donado immediately.  He had a big smile on his face.  He took her hand and walked with her to the Kings Plaza Mall.  Once in side he ran into some of his friends. 

 He was proud to introduce her to his “boys” and they were pleasant.  Candida had butterflies in her stomach.  This was her first date!  At 19 years old, she was embarressed to tell anyone that she had never had a real boyfriend! 

 Now, she felt like a more mature person.  It was fun.  Wow, and he was so tall, and she felt protected and secure!  They had a lunch and then he wanted to stop at his house before they went to the movies.   He shared his apartment with his mother.

  His mother seemed rather small, and thin and pale.  She looked very tired, exhausted.  The house was clean, but she seemed annoyed with Donado.  He went to his bedroom to get something and Candida and Donado’s Mom, had a uncomfortable silence. 

 She did not ask Candida any questions and did not volunteer any conversation.  His mother just looked around the room.  Donado soom emerged from his bedroom and left without saying anything to his mother. 

His mother asked when he would be back and he said after the movie.  When they exited the apartment he took Candida by the hand and  limited his long strides so that she could keep up with him.  They arrived at the movie theatre and he paid for the tickets.  The movie was all that Candida expected.

  Donado placed his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him.  Candida could feel her heart racing within her chest.  Wow!  She thought!  I have a boyfriend!  Her stomach fluttered, and she felt a warming sensation deep within.

  She felt that she had come to the place that she had seen other young ladies with their boyfriends on the college campus. 

 She was not a loner anymore!  I have a boyfriend!  I have a boyfriend!  She could barely keep her mind on the movie! 

 She could not wait to get home and tell her friend from college about the movie and her boyfriend and his arm around her shoulder! 

 After the movie ended Donado said, “Lets go back to my house before you go home and play some checkers,  you want to do that?”

  Candida, really was ready to go home because her mother warned her about traveling at night from an area she was not familiar with. 

 She said, okay, but just for a little while. When she entered the living room, Donado invited her to sit on the leather couch.  He went to his room and got a box that contained the checkers. 

 His mother did not come out of her room this time.  She heard his mother call Donado several times before he finally answered her. Donado brought Candida a cool drink from the kitchen.  He sat next to her and said I want a kiss. 

 Candida was unpracticed in romantic activities so she gave him a peck on the cheek.  This was the first time they had been some what alone since they had met. 

 When she reached over to kiss his cheek he turned and kiss her on the mouth full and then pryed her lips apart and then planted  a deep kiss on her. 

 Ugh!  She felt drool on her face, and her mouth.  She felt sick, and nauseas. 

She pushed him away and he persisted.  She began to feel scared because he had practically climbed on top of her.  Soon he had her shirt up and was pulling at her bra! 

 She was stunned and embarressed. She was wondering what would his mother think! 

 She would never had let something like this happen in her mother’s house, especially with the mother in the next room. 

 She tried to talk and he continued to kiss her forcefully on the mouth.  At one point she thought that she almost could not breath.  He was tall and pressing hard against her. 

 She wanted to run from this night mare and could not get away.  Donado finally got his way and had pulled her blouse part way off and her bra too.

  Suddenly his mother was in the room and yelling…..DONADO!!!

WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING TO  HER?!!!!

  What are you doing to that girl? 

 Stop it do you hear? 

Stop it I said! 

  Candida’s heart was pumping, and her ears and face were burning from the heat of the emabarressment and fear she was experienceing.  All she wanted to do was to run. 

 She had never really kissed anyone before.  Plus she had never had anyone take her shirt off of her either.  She was humilated.  Donado’s mother must have thought that she was’nt such a nice person too. 

 Donado got up off the couch and ran over to his mother and told her to shut up and go back into her room.  They began to argue and Candida pulled her blouse and bra back on and also began to put on her coat. 

 Donado wheeled around and said,

 “Where are you going?” 

“I am leaving, I want to go home!” Candida said. 

 Donado looked puzzled, “What’s the matter?  What do you mean what is the matter?”

  Candida could barely speak. 

 Her feelings were hurt, and all she wanted to do was get on the train and get home to the safety of her mother’s house.  She felt lost and afraid of this Donado!

  When he got her to the train station she went in and did not look back.  He called her at home and she would hang up on him.  He saw her at college and she would avoid him. 

 What is the matter is all he kept saying, and she would reply, “You know what you did!”  Donado then replied,  “You need to grow up little girl!” 

 Candida was so ashamed, because Donado had said that in front of his friends.  From that day forward she walked in another direction.  She avoided that area. 

 Some months later she met another young man at church, who treated her with respect, and they dated for several years.

Dating and relationships are delicate like a flower.  They need to have care, compassion and  mutual respect. 

 The experience described here is true.  The names were changed for obvious reasons. 

 Candida had been inexperienced in dating.  But that did not make it justified for Donado to attempt to dominate her. 

This blog is for those young people who are dating and have had this experience, or might have it.

Remember respect one another,  date rape, or near date rape is not fun.  If someone says no!   No,  means just that NO! 

I hope this story will help others in their quest for relationships.

Be kind to one another.

Till next blog,

Riveroflifelisajoy

T.D. Jakes: Movie, “WOMAN THOU ART LOOSED!” WHAT A POWERFUL EYE OPENER!!! A MUST SEE FOR EVERYONE!

LIFE STARTS HERE.jpgChildren are pure and simple.

  Adults are children who grew up.

  Why are there so many adults that have forgotten what it was like to be a child? 

What has happened to the hurting children of society? 

 They grow up….and if they are still unaware of circumstance s that have changed their attitudes, and they are not aware of their actions and how it creates the future paths that they take….WOW! 

 You end up with the powerful film that I just saw tonight.  I hesitated to purchase…yes purchase this movie.  I thought it was going to be a sermon for a good long hour or more.  But instead for people who like hard hitting reality type dramas….this is it.  T.D. Jakes plays himself in this movie. 

 But he is so low key that he does not over do it.  He did exactly what a minister is supposed to do…..listen.  T. D. Jakes listened to the actors in their roles and behaviors.  He was excellent! 

 But the worse part of the movie was the child being attacked.  That was too graphic for me. 

I had to fast forward it after I watched the movie for the second time.

  The Woman  thou art loosed may stir up old hurts and old pain for those who have suffered such things as a child.

  The ending is somewhat confusing.  It leaves  it up in the air. 

 But it gave voice to those humanbeings that have suffered in many circumstances in life. 

 It is skillfully acted,  and not too over the top.  It was difficult to watch at times…because it was so brutally raw and real. 

 It was not a true story….but it makes you wonder if maybe there were other reasons for the pain and suffering in the world. 

 It makes you want to give the entire world a hug. 

 Every race has suffered.

  Every race has cried. 

 Every race has wished the sun would not go down on its’ sorrow.

  Every race has prayed for a new begining.

  And all mankind has begged, and pleaded for redemption from suffering. 

 There are no human beings excempt from suffering. 

 Please watch this movie….do not look at the race of the people playing the acting roles

….do not look at T.D. Jakes as a man who has a “black” persepective on the situation. 

  Please take a look. 

 The movie  “Woman Thou Art Loosed”  may just change your perspective on life for the better.

Have a good night!

RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY!