Riveroflifelisajoy’s Weblog

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Archive for BAD BEDSIDE MANNER OF DOCTORS

COTTON MOUTH

Jay Jewels Cry FOR HUMANITYDry like the parchment of the

scroll of a writ

of so long ago

Thousands of years

hid away

Moments in the hands of

an anthropologist

crackling under his

sweaty palms

grasp

the dry old parchment

will melt away

if not put in sealed

archival containers

dry like the old linen dress

of yesteryear

like a ball of cottom in my mouth

the medical diagnosis

has come and gone

and now my sensations are

minimized

except for the diagnosis

pain that is ripping its’

way deep into my heart.

Trying to explain to my

child that he has to

take medication to save his

life.

Cotton mouth,

loss of taste for the

things you love.

Loss of sensation in my

feet and hands

Sitting I type not

feeling, not

wanting to feel the pain

deep searing a tunnel through

my stomach

I feel full,

gas overcomes my belly

cotton mouth

prevents me from

eating

like the fullness of

emptiness I hold

deep in my belly to

unfold until I scream from

pain and agony

Take the truth,

dealt the truth

no compassion

was the final blow

given

lost in a new

hell

fear of the unknown and

the diagonosis compells

the rickety fence of hell to

open and reveal the ominous

cavern that threatens to swallow

us whole

We must proceed my child

we must go in

Cotton mouth,

sweaty palms,

sweaty feet,

sudden compulsion to

release bodily fluids,

fight or flight sydrome

in full affect

compel me oh Lord

toward the light

Let taste return

Cotton Mouth–

I cannot swallow

for the diagnosis

itself is not paletable

The diagnosis was

given with such cold

precision like the blade

of the surgeons knife

Hold my hand my child

walk together we will

toward the tower of hell

but together we will

climb to heaven

despite the steely grasp of the  Cotton mouth!

Cross Over

Old Fabric by RiveroflifelisajoyCross Over and move out the way

Sometimes the river does not

sway,  the tide is high  and

my spirit is low

I do not want to look back

or let go

What do I say  to my child

to day

His love of life has

been challenged,

like a dry twig broken

and chips of it splinter

and fall away

His health is  limited

yet a picture of health

is he

So why this sad problem

that plagues me today

The doctor looks cool, and

medical team too serene

Your child has to take

xxxmiligrams and

that is all…

Have a nice day

Go forth, leave the

hospital and jump back

into the stream. river of life

and move on

after this limited 5 day

hospital stay

But wait,  I have more questions,

What about the side affects….

“OH, he just might be a bit sleepy…that is all

any way…have a good day!

No, NO!  I need to say this,  I have to ask

that….do not dismiss me so easily

For I must fight for my child

I must question, and stay longer if

I must

For though you are the doctor…I cannot

entirely trust

for each patient has

different needs, and questions…so let us reason,

let us rationalize before we say our goodbyes!

So again I say dear Doctor

today—crossover from your generalized sermon, and

medical doctrine

Crossover to a parent who is human, and alive..

Because the condition of which you speak

is not simple to me

not simple to my child

just simple medical diagnosis to you

So please….cross over from the cold

cruel world  of illness

disease

and  speak

Woman to Woman,  possibly Mother to Mother

please.

Fini

Riveroflifelisajoy

5:00 in the Morning during A Snow Storm Medical Emergency just before the Holidays!

LIFE STARTS HERE.jpgI sleep on the kitchen floor.  I sleep on a mat with pillows, and  a blanket on the kitchen floor.  I am watching over my mother at night while she sleeps on her ten inch thick mattress from Sealy Posterpedic. 

 She had a stroke some years ago.  But my concern is regarding her arthritis and waking up and needing assistance.  I have a ten inch thick mattress too.  But it is upstairs in my bedroom.  So I sleep down stairs for the sake of my mother in case she needs me. 

 But one night recently I awoke with a start!  I heard a screach, or scream or some sort of ungodly howl that sent shivers up and down my spine.  You see, I sleep very light because I am the watchman in the night for my family.  I used to have dogs, and the watching was their job…but I can not have pets anymore….so my sleep is very, very, very light. 

 I heard that screach and howl and I somehow flew to my feet and ran into the dinning room and found my child on the floor shaking and jerking.  Daniel!  Daniel!  Mommy’s here!  Daniel! Daniel!  Mommy is here! 

 I tried to turn him  on his side but he was very stiff.  His eyes were wide open, but turned to the side and beet red.  He did not hear me.  I wanted to call for help. My mother heard the uproar and asked what was happening! 

 I told her that Daniel was having a seizure.  It appeared that he was on the computer and was possibly sitting up in the dinning room chair and had fallen off the chair to the floor.  He missed hitting the computer, and the china cabinet thank God. 

 This was a bad one.  I was shaking internally, and I wanted to call 911.  I was counting the minutes of how long this seizure was lasting. and praying that it would not go into stasis.  (a non stop seizure which can be life threatening). 

I watched him and prayed that this evil internal assault on my child of 14  years old would soon stop. It did.  He closed his eyes and I ran up stairs to get the phone line adjusted. 

You see I can not afford the expensive computer set up for the Internet like other people.  I have the AOL phone jack.  My son appeared to have been on the computer Internet and so I had to put the phone back on. 

His bedroom has the phone jack in it so I had to go into his darkened room to fix the telephone line.  The light bulb needed to be replaced in the ceiling.  I had told him to replace the bulb the other day and he did not do it to my dismay! 

I could not get the phone to work once I had fumbled around in the dark.  I ran back down stairs and then banged on my landlords door.  She came up and  gave me her cell phone. I dialed 911!  My son opened his eyes and sat up on the dining room chair and put his head in his hands. 

I ran to the kitchen and dragged my mat, blanket and pillow to the dining room.  I commanded my son to lay down and rest. He looked at me in a clueless way but listened to me. 

 He lay down.  I continued to talk to him and he went into a sleep.  I had to run to the restroom.  I had been feeling sick myself but from more regular reasons, PMS.  Ugh!  Why does everything go wrong at the wrong time? 

I wanted to stay by my child’s side…but instead I had to run to the toilet and tend to my own stupid needs!  I was so angry with my body!  I went back to my son and checked him.  He was still sleeping soundly. 

I went to the window and looked out and saw two EMS trucks approaching.  It was bad weather too.  5:00 in the morning!  Snow and slush was all over the place and the wind was blowing badly.  The  bare winterized tree limbs were straining against the wind. 

 I dreaded the next few hours of leaving the house in this bad weather,  following the ambulance to the hospital, and answering questions that were asked by doctors and nurses.

  Watching over my son and worrying about my mother and how she would feel knowing that her grandson had to be taken to the hosptial at 5:00a.m. in the morning!  But for now I just opened the door.  Three EMS techs came in. 

My son was still asleep as they approached him.  When they spoke to him he awoke with a start.  He seemed dazed, but he knew where he was.  They took him to the hospital and I followed behind in my car. 

 Since he was stable it would be easier to get him home.  I talked to my mother and told her  I would be back later.  I left her with some breakfast food and then left. 

 The EMS techs warned me about the hazardous driving conditions.  They were so nice…one of them actually helped me down the rather steep steps to the house.   

 When I arrived at the hospital I found my son and a doctor was talking to him.  She was young,  possibly in her mid thirties.  She was a bit snippy too.  She kept repeating herself that she wanted to get the story straight.

  She was annoyed with my son because he had answered her incorrectly.  I was beginning to get annoyed too….but at her not my son.  I kind of gave her a stiff reply and then added a bit more to the response than she expected.

  She then left the room and a more pleasant doctor came in and developed a good a rapport with me and my son.  “Who wants to go the hospital at 5:00a.m.– during a snow storm!

  My son had just had a seizure and was not able to express himself clearly.  This doctor was  better in his response.  The otber doctor seemed not to have the right  attitude at all. 

 She had stated that she was getting off of work at 6:00 and needed to leave so she needed the entire story! I was still upset about what had brought me to the hospital in the first place and I was not up to fighting with her at that time.

But looking back,  I realize that she had been quite rude and not really as concerned with my son’s health as she was with the time she would be leaving work.  The hospital I am talking about is NorthShoreManhasset.

  I always liked the treatment my son received there.  But for some reason this doctor was quite rude and had little or no compassion on my son who is still a minor (below the age of eighteen).

  He did not committ any crime.  He had had a seizure.  So why was she not compassionate?  Look,  this is the real world….people do not care. 

 Some people do care…but most do not.  Doctor or not,  medical conditions are all they (some) care about.  Generally I have found that North Shore Manhassett  hospital would help my child….I was glad when this woman (Doctor) left my son’s side.

  He was tired and not able to answer the questions clearly.  She was impatient.  We went through a series of questions that seemed to make no difference.  I tried to explain his condition and all she cared about was getting out of that room.  

 Finally a new doctor arrived and then they did chest xrays, checked the heart and decided to have him see a cardiologist and Synder Children’s Hospital the next day. 

The next day we went to all of the doctors that we were supposed to see.  My son missed school,  I missed work.  I was worried about my job….but my child’s health does come first. 

 I have no body to help me —so off we went from one doctor (specialist) to another.  The second day we went to see his pediatrician, who reprimanded my son for staying up so late. 

He believed that my son had fallen asleep in the chair and fell off and then had the seizure.  I cannot say what was the trigger….but it was Saturday night and my son was being a typical teenager. 

  I try not to baby him,  but I see I have to monitor his hours of sleep….even if he does not particularly like it. 

This blog is for those who have experienced this medical condition and want to know that you are not alone!  My son is still going through medical testing.

  So I just keep a close watch on him and my mother.  I still sleep in the kitchen on the floor on my mat.  (I constantly mop and clean and wax my floors so not to worry),  and my son must go to bed atleast before 1AM. 

  Health conditions are made worse by lack of sleep and over extending the body. 

Till next blog:

RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY