Riveroflifelisajoy’s Weblog
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The Doe and the Hunter
PICTURE FROM AWAY.COM
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He rose up and
cursed the day
that I was born
because he simply
did not like
me
We contend for
a spot on the
dot placed
on center
stage
Who is she
that she should
be placed over me
he says
he complains
daily and they
listen
he rants daily
and they listen
then they begin to
plot my
demise
my destruction
they seek
and plan their
victory party
over the
doe and
her child
they run quickly
to the river and
lay their trap
for the doe when
she drinks her
water
So I entered into
the lair of
my haters and
knowingly began
to drink
from the river until
I hear a
SNAP!
AND A THUD!
When you dig
a ditch
you better
dig two
for in setting a
trap
you may find
yourself
the victim of
your own crime
and plot
the doe jumps
from fear
and runs off
back to the safety
of the forest
while the hunter
lays at the
bottom of
his well laid
pit–realizing
that he forgot
to look where he
was walking
in his glee
over his trap
and soon prey
subdued and
destroyed
The doe runs
back to her fawn
and then continues on
until
another hunter
lays another
trap
on another
God Given
day!
—riveroflifelisajoy
You Understood me Right? Riveroflifelisajoy prose & poetry
I said that… and then you said I think
Well, I guess we will sit here
at the brink in the
thoughts of
our own heads
as we lay in
our own separate
beds
On the telephone
late at night
talking until we
fall asleep
afraid to close our
eyes because
of what resides
behind the
eyelids and
the pain that
threatens to crawl
out of its’
hole and pull
us within its
dark abyss and
home
hell to which a
place I have
never wanted to
roam
In the losses
and the battles
and the gathering of
strength by
adverseries
weapons
So here we sit
on the telephone
complaining at
each other
for not
understanding
what the other said
not understanding
what the other
meant
I want to hang up now
still too close
to being wide
awake to
hang up
Usually
we fall asleep
with the phone
as an open line
till one of us realizes that
the other has
fallen asleep and
finally hangs up
the phone
Then the other sleeps with
the constant buzzing
and respeat recording from
the phone “Please Hang UP…”
Till the morning creeps through
the window
the nights conversation, last words
mumbled into the phone
receiver, the last thoughts of
agony over the past like the
sand of the beach blowing away
into your dreams and pain lowers it’s
ugly head and crawls back to
its abyss until
finally you have fallen
into the arms of
dreamless sleep
Frustration of not being
understood before sleep
overcame you now is
disolved into
slumber and light breathing
of a sleeper
arms and legs curled
into the fetus position
and your brow
no longer furrowed
but now your forehead
clear of anger lines
your mouth slighty agape
and your fist
unfurled into an
open hand at rest
You understood me Right?
A distant conversation that
has been put to rest
until another time
Put to rest until the next
night when
sleep is hard to find
so the phone calls again
and the little arguements
until sleepiness and the
“Sand Man” comes with
bag in hand to lead you by the
hand to “Sleepy Time Land” —
the place that bids you welcome
and possible freedom from your
frustrated, pain, anguished, anxious
day…..Come bids the Sand Man, Come
recline, resign to be at
peace and rest
The ocean of Sleepiness is at
its’ crest
Jump aboard and
gather your sleepy eyes
and let the sleepy time fly
and soon those things
that troubled you will flee
and you can stay here
with me
the Sand Man….Little horse, little sheep
jumping the enternal fence and you can
count them all……
You awake and look around and
there you find your link
to sleep, the
telephone—laying next
to you and then you groan.
How long before I begin to
regain normal sleeping patterns?
The tradegy that took
your natural sleep patterns
away and turned your midnight
hours into day….2 years ago…
the loss, the hurt you asage with
midnight phone calls to a dear and
trusted friend
You fuss and argue
just to pass the time
so to usher in
the Sand Man and
his bag of sand that invites you
to sleep and
cast away the cares of
the day…..
You understood me ….
Right???????
—-FINI—-
……riveroflifelisajoy
I love the Summer! A reflection on my favorite Season–Mid-Winter Crisis! amatuer prose by riveroflifelisajoy
The birds chirping
early in the morning
The sun begins to rise
around 5:30am
And I groan because
I see the slivers of sunlight
peaking through the shades of
my bedroom window
But alas I must arise for
it is Saturday in the
Summer!
To take a ride out
to oceans edge at
Far Rockaway Beach
To sit on th beach
early in the morning
Years ago the dogs we took
would chase the
small crests of the water
that rolled to the
beached crabs, and sea weed
The sunlight warm upon our
backs and the joy of life
warm within our souls
My child giggled and laughed
and played with the dogs
And I basked in the joy that
was his as his youth embraced
him gently
Oh, for that time today
here in February!
Although my birthday is
in February,
I would
have enjoyed a mid July
birthday in which
I could invite others
to spend an early
morning romp on
the beach,
an early morning
breakfast seaside
barefoot, warm
and casual
Elderly ladies wandering the sands
beach bagsand umbrellas
in hand
young couples at play
babies with their mothers
lay
on a beach towel,
or blanket
Oh how I wish for my Summer today!
Mid-Winter Crisis–
OH… do go away!
The yachts float by, showing off their
owner’s wealth,
I dream
and imagine myself
at the helm of that yacht
The seaguls cry
as air planes
streak the sky
sending messages
to us below
and the sporadic police,
or parks
department vehicles
that patrol the
sands,
The New York version of
BayWatch!
Oh yes, winter 2007 and 2008
have been
very nice!
No great squals,
or blizzards
But still deep in my midlife crisis
gizzard,
I yet yearn for
new life, new summer sun!
Look!
I want to get out
and have Summer fun!
The hope and joy
of Saturday morning
in the
summer!
Filled with the promise
of new experiences
Look, lets walk the Nautical Mile
Freeport is not far away!
Let’s go there today!
Oh, yes, I have it bad!
But yet I have it good!
Summer’s not too far away!
I will hold it together
just one more day!
—–FINI—-
by riverofliflisajoy
“Don’t Love me too much” –haiku prose- by riveroflifelisajoy
***Oil paint of still life by RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY 8/07
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Don’t love me too much
he said, and I held him tighter
You have to love G-d more
I do, I said.
No…you don’t
he said
I grew angry that
he saw through my
tears of fear
I feared loss
I feared loneliness
I feared the emptiness
and empty bed
I loved him
We would embrace
and our “unique” addition
to the Eskimo nose kiss was
our left eye to right eye touch
Our eyes and cheeks would touch
He would flutter his eye lashes on mine
I would try to see within his soul
through my mind’s eye
Don’t love me too much
You have got to love G-d more
We held hands even in our sleep
We would entwine our legs even
in our sleep
We awoke and talked of our
goals
He would jump up and bring
a paper to bed and show me the
plans he had written the day
before
I would look on and think
I AM –lucky, or proper term
blessed I was to
have a man with vision
goals and dreams
I would hug him and
close my eyes and
be so happy
I just want to be happy
I said
“It is not about you
It is not about me
It is about what we can do for
others he said
His goals were plain
His goals were simple
Help those around you
Do what you can for the
disadvantaged
Jobs, training, youth, and
prayer
He wanted to be a minister
He wanted me to be there
A dark cloud approached
and my sunny day faded to
black
I could no longer hug his strong
muscular back
For he was gone
Skizzzz
Soooo
FREAAAAAA
NEEEEEE
YAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
A gutteral,
primitive scream!!!
That horrible disease
destroyed my dream
Darkness took over
tentacles crawled from the
depths of hell
and dragged him down
a so,– so deep well
Don’t love me so much!!
was all I could hear
Take care of my son,
to me you will always be
dear!!!!!
Continue to sing,
and give to the poor
for in that you will not
lose me….ever more!!!!
So I continue to help
I continue to give
Although my arms ache,
the lost love that
I can no longer take
I understand now
I ponder and think
What did he see
beyond that ugly,
ugly, brink?
I have not lost him
when at last I think
he has been in every
good deed
I will not falter
until my dying day
Although there is no
grave plot
No memorial for him
for that ugly, ugly
monster has claimed
him from within
He is missing,
traveling a road I can
not find
Missing in body—
missing in mind
SKIZOPHRENIA!
He is gone, for nine years
Don’t love me too much
Hold on to G-d
I did grow strong
I will go on
But I will always
love him
from now on
Do not feel sorry for me
For I have suffered great
loss
But I have no regrets
For great was the love
some would call it soul
mate
I call it a blessing from
above
He was my teacher,
my mentor,
my best friend
my lover
my husband
He had a good and
honorable job
as a Corrections Officer
yet he was taken from me by
illness beyond my control
His goals and dreams never to
be fulfilled
But yet he still lives on
Don’t love me too much
—but I do
———————-Fini’
riveroflifelisajoy
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