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Archive for Weight Struggle of African American Women

Guess What? Weight is a Direct connection to Illness….Heard that on 1010 Wins Health minute! So where’s the Comedy in that?

still-life.jpg 

There are those heavy, full figured comedians which shall remain namelss, (Monique) who state that BIG IS BEAUTIFUL!   Well I think that is the problem.

  Making one’s soda extra large at the fast food place,  or having BIGGIE FRIES or double, double whopper is not HEALTHY!

  So why are the comedians who can afford a : weight trainer,  lap ban surgery,  and live in doctor telling us big gals and big men that it is alright to STAY BIG?

  That is not a good road to lead people down.  No,  no one is leading me into Biggie fries…I chose those on my own…(if and when I make a choice in that direction!) 

 But still, self-esteem is a big issue in today.  I had a friend who is a rather small man in height and weight….OH,  there are men who love women your size.  Wait,  I will get the name of the “CLUB”  that you can go to inorder to meet men who LOVE BIG WOMEN!!!! UGHHHHHH!!!

 If there was a moment in my life when I knew that I could see the end of a friendship in big clear letters it was then!  I was not into any kind of weird fetish club!  Some people like to look at women’s hands etc…..I do not want to be put in that category. 

 Yes I am big….but no I do not want someone who is looking for a WOMAN MY SIZE!  How dare  you!  I am not a car,   mini van,  coup deville,  or corvet that you pick out at the showroom. 

 Picture this, “Oh, yes we have the model you are looking for,  Large Brown Woman,  Gap in front of teeth, teeth more yellow than white,  This is our used model category of woman though,  but very, very, very reliable! 

 Great mileage….hardly used at all,  only bore one child.  But alas,  this is a late model you know….a baby boomer.  But she does put in a hard days work, despite the now recent weigh in of 269.1pounds! 

 Her legs are strong.  She has actual ankles,  not cankles, you know the calve, and ankles combo….she has distinct ankles for her age and weight. 

She takes her water pills and blood pressure pills quite faithfully.   Yes she is our  SEDAN VERSION OF A LARGE WOMAN….A LITTLE BIT LUXURY, AND A LITTLE BIT ECONOMY….YOU KNOW–SHE IS THE HARD WORKING TYPE…NOT THE PINK FEATHER TOE, BON BON EATING TYPE….SO HERE SHE IS!” 

 See how degrading that all seems?  It is silly, but that is how annoyed my small framed, low weight male friend felt when he made that comment to me.

  And I told him about it….that is right!  If I was a beautiful woman with long flowing black curly hair, I would not want anyone to tell me to go to a club where woman that look like me would find a match of a man who likes woman with black curly hair! 

 Everyone wants to be loved for the unique qualities that are within their spirit and their heart.  No one wants to be picked out for their strange shaped forehead or something. 

 I am not a cow,  a cat or a car.  Treat me special please!   ooooh,  I digress!  I am sorry,  I kind of went off on a tangent didn’t I?  Okay, where were we,  Oh,  yes. 

Being overweight might appeal to some,  but where are it’s health benefits if any?  I heard it today, on  2/15/08….on my favorite radio news station 1010 wins—that there is a direct correlation to health and cancer based on weight according to a study done. 

 (The WHO that did the study has slipped my mind at this time—but it does not matter,  I have heard that statement from my doctor many, many, many times!) 

My problem today,  to correlate to that “new so-called statistical data finding…my back has been aching for the past month now.  It hurts just above the kidney aread…or at it directly. 

 One morning on a Monday to be exact,  I woke up and was too dizzy and weak to make it to work.  I called out sick and made my doctor appointment which I had been putting off. 

 When I told the doctor about this constant pain after I eat meals, drink, or have to move around too much, she took blood.  Since I have highblood pressure and my child Daniel has been getting sick lately I chalked it up to stress. 

But to be on the safe side…lets not ignore ole’ Betsy the Sedan Large and Lovely Body Beautiful….shall we?  So  blood tests all done,  and now MamoGrahm, and GYN up next too. 

 We must check out the facts about weight and health correlation!  I do not want to be the guinea Hippo here…but this is really for myself, and my family.

  I am merely sharing this oh, so very private health condition, and issues with you to help you women who are in my mid-forties, and 269.1 category….not to direct to you a CLUB for large babes….but to direct you to a better state of mind in regards to your daily health! 

 Remember…..our families need us to live long enough to see them grow, and mature,  and be there for babies and all like that.

  So,  do me and you a favor,….no I do not know where the club for Big Gals and the men who love them are….I would not allow my male friend tell me where to go….because I am mentally a Big Gal with a Medium,  healthy weight woman rising!

   (could not resist the horoscope correlation…ladies!)  So  seriously,  take the time to check out your aches and pains.  I personally believe in natural weight loss.  I am afraid of that lap band surgery. 

There  are two women that are on my job right now that have lost tremendous weight, from the surgery.  But see,  I cannot be happy not eating!  I am a foodie! 

 No,  I do not binge,  I just like a good cooked meal.  I have bad habits for eating dinner late into the night and then going immediately to bed.  I have to get up early,  around 5 am.  I always feel sick. 

 Sometimes I will throw up while brushing my teeth, because  the food from the late night dinner after I worked overtime at my job,  did not digest properly.  You know that when you lay down to sleep your digestive track has the nerve to stop working right? 

 So production stops and all that food becomes are hard nasty lump in the pit of your stomach and when you awake you feel nauseaous!  Ugh!

So  getting back to our, yours and my health.

  Check out those aches and pains and call Jenny Craig,  WeightWatchers and First CALL YOUR DOCTOR AND MAKE AN APPOINTMENT…..TAKE A FRIEND WITH YOU IF YOU ARE SCARED…..BUT GO,  BIG GALS GO!  —All joking aside….look in the mirror,  you are beautiful,  but your heart will love you more if you take good care of it! 

And one more thing Ladies….In honor of Women’s heart month…..and Valentines Day—Take care of your heart and it will take care of you!   Happy Valentines Day!

Take care,  until next weight and health blog—

riveroflifelisajoy!!!

A WOMAN’S WORK IS NEVER, EVER DONE! My thoughts on working overtime and its affects on family, and health–riveroflifelisajoy

duckies at playMost Americans work a stated 40 hour work week.  But then this thing called overtime kicks in.  UGH!   and double ugh!

  I am of victim of this overtime dilemma.  You work it either because you have to, or because you need the money.  But what happens when you come on and the house is a wreck,  your feet hurt,  your back hurts,  and all you want to do is lay down.

  Problem with laying down for a few minutes you suddenly find youself being awaken by the hunger of the family and the second job now is upon you. 

Your family needs your attention…..NOW!  yOU PULL your aching bones from the bed and feel dizzy, weak and  tired.  You make dinner and then your child tells you he needs construction paper from the store. 

 You suddently find yourself at a 24 hour STOP AND SHOP SUPERMARKET,  looking at multicolored paper and wishing you were back in your bed

 The clock is spinning fast now.  You realize that 4a.m. and 5 a.m. are just around the corner.  Inside you want to cry….you wonder will you make it to retirement? 

 You wonder if you will make it to June at this point.  You get back home and then you look around the house and then begin to plan out the house cleaning. 

But wait….you go lay down….just for a minute…and suddenly it is 5 30 a.m.!  You are half an hour from being late.  YOu jump up from bed and then rush to prepare breakfast for the family.  

Take your shower and then run out the door to start this hard work force routine again. 

But atleast today is Friday….but oh,  You have to work 4hours and 30 minutes on Saturday morning!  Ugh!…Don’t think about it right now.  Just go one minute,  and one day at a time. 

 Focus….for you know the old saying….a “woman’s work is never done—she works from sun to sun!”

Lets analyize the workforce and how it affects the woman and her health….and the need to earn income vs.  being a mother and care giver. 

   Entry will be made later today…….It is 5am and I have got to get ready for work!  Write to you after my work day is complete! 

Riveroflifelisajoy! ————-

Well,  I ‘m back.

Work as a definition is something you have to do, and/or want to do  in order to get paid, or complete some type of task that benefits yourself or others.   Work is good….work is healthy.

  But too much of anything is never good.  As a woman I was persmitted to take a year of maternity leave after I gave birth to my only child.  However, due to conditions beyond my control  I have been a single parent for nearly 10 years to date. 

 I do not like it and it can be a double job at times.  (especially since my child has been having varied serious medical problems.)  I bear my burdens completely solo.  I care for my mother also. 

Thus I am sandwiched between two different circumstances—or rather three.  I am thankful for the job….but not having assistance at home makes it difficult to say the least.  For example,  one day I had to work overtime on my job. 

But when I arrived home,  I heard banging in the house.  My mother,  was calling my child.  He was in the basement.  He had been boiling an egg and fell asleep.  He burnt the pot he was cooking in and was sleeping in the smokey house.

  My mother was upstairs and could not walk down to the basement because of the arthritisis in her knees.  That conditon had the potentical to be devastating to say the least.  So I tried to stop doing overtime.  However,  I am unable to at this time. 

 A standing order is in place for my child not to cook at all unless I am in the house. Tunafish, and peanut butter and jelly are left in place for him to eat when I am not home.  Or–microwave oven also…But even that I do not trust too much either. 

You might ask,  where is your family and friends?  Well, I am not the “Lucy and Ethel” type gal!   Everyone I know has a job….and/career.  There are no stay at home mom’s in my daily life struggles. 

 Money is tight and people do not help out like that without hard green money in their hands.  So,—I do not have people walking in and out of my house.  Therefore,  I do not have assistance. 

 I even had attempted to get my mother a home attendant and VISITING NURSE SERIVCE of   New York resfused her several times in the past two years.

  You just about have to need a hospice before they offer you assistance.

  If  she can bathe herself, and feed herself,  they say that she is not eligable.  CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

Thus back to my original discussion…..a WOMAN’S work is never done!

What are the society politicians doing to help the single parent,  caregivers of society? 

I get rediculed,  and repremanded on my job for my support of my mother and child.  I am told to make arrangments to have my child taken care of and my mother for that matter. 

But where is the money coming from to foot the bill to help PAY  for these so called arrangements?—-Strange huh?!

THIS WAS ANOTHER INSTALLMENT….BUT HOUSE CLEANING CALLS….!—-

RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY!

BLACK HEALTH AND BLACK WOMEN….IT IS BLACK HISTORY MONTH!

Sunflower.jpgLadies,  of all races….please read this blog and think about yourself for a moment or two.  When I was young,  I played for hours as a pre-teen.  Then I began to mature and had to start addressing my health as a young woman.

  When I was a teenager,  my mother did not take me to the doctor because my father and my mom were separated and I was no longer covered under my father’s health plan. 

 I had braces on my teeth for two years,  but when my father separated and left my mother and I,  the dental coverage for my teeth stopped.  I had missing teeth,  and a very wide gap in the front. 

The dentist took the braces off but neglected to take off the wire that had finally closed the gap in my teeth.

  I ended up with swollen gums and I had to spend hours pulling that wire out.  It got stuck and I had to go to the dentist again to have it removed. 

My mother did not have a health, or dental plan to pay for it.  The dentist did want to work on my mouth at all. 

 That was a very terrible experience to say the least. The dentist was annoyed with my mother for asking and needing help.  I felt worthless and unloved by my father. 

My own sister who was 7 years older than me at the time and had a good paying job had a terrible attitude toward my mother and I.

  My sister had influenced my father to take me and my mother off of his medical and dental coverage. (  ***note:  my father died of sugar diabetes when he was 59 years old and he left my sister a lot of money.—thus the reason for her heavy influence over him.  My mother never attempted to fight it because she did not know about it until years later.)

 My Mom had been a stay at home mother and did not have any skills except for house cleaning.  My Mom had gone to college but due to the domestic issues with my dad did not complete college.   I did not have an annual medical check up until I was actually in my late twenties and thirties.  I gave birth to my son when I was 32. 

 My child is 14 years old now.  I have been going to the doctor for various issues over the past five years.  I am 269.1 pounds currently. 

 I am truly obese.  I used to do karate, and gymnastics.  I swam laps and kept my meals healthy between the ages of 18 years old and and age 30 years old.  

Now I have to c0me to you this day and state the obvious…..PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES LADIES. 

 Yes it is black history month…but health is for all races and creeds to be concerned with. 

 I almost lost a big toe due to finger nail salons and my ignorance about foot and toe health.  I was stuck  at home for  about 4 months. 

 I had surgery on my big left toe to clean out dead material every two weeks. 

The year before that I had  knee surgery.

  I have been looking into trying food supplements and rebuilding my immune system.  My hair has become thin,  and I wear various hair styles that hide it.

So for black history month ladies….forget about tanning salons,  hair weaves,  nail polish and  pedicures,  and facials. 

 Let us women of color look deep inside to our HEARTS,  OUR LIVERS,  OUR KIDNEYS,  OUR VEINS,  OUR IMMUNE SYSTEM,  OUR NERVOUS SYSTEMS AND OUR LEGS, OUR ARMS,  OUR CHESTS,  BREASTS,  OUR REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS,  OUR TEETH,  OUR SKIN, AND ANY OTHER AREAS. 

Take off some of that nail polish and go to a nutritionist and see where you stand on health and nutrition. 

 Take out those contact lenses and see what your opthamologist sees when he checks your eyes for glacoma.  

 Our families need us,  and  we need and DESERVE to have the best quality of life possible.  Many medical tests can be painless,  and simple and quick.  Get over the fear,  face your fears,  and the outcome will be for the better. 

 Take a friend with you to the doctors appointments if you need a supportive person by your side.

Your daily love and care for your job,  family, and friends is black history, white history,  yellow history,  brown history  in the making.

 Make good  history by keeping your doctors appointments and monitoring your health.

  If you do not have health coverage make an effort to contact local agenices that may offer low cost health coverage for you,  and free coverage for your children.

Till next blog…..

BLACK,  WHITE,  YELLOW,  AND BROWN  WOMEN HEALTH MATTERS……..

IT REALLY DOES!!!!

RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY!!!!

My Weight Problem and How it will Affect the Year 2008 Resolution!!

LIFE STARTS HERE.jpgLet me start this off right!  I am about 265 pounds.  I go up and I go down.  I stay within the range of 250 to 265 at all times.  Right now my stomach is my worse attribute.  I gave birth over 14 years ago—ONE Time!  I had only one pregnancy in my entire life.  (I laugh at that because my huge gut….people always say…”You have a couple of kids…Right?”  I always tell them no!  But would you believe that there is always someone who will persist and continue to tell me that I have more than one child?  I look at them like he/or she is crazy!  I mean, really,  could I have been knocked out at some point,  and given birth and do not remember it?  And where is the child with the social security number to go along with it?  —Any way lets get back to my weight problem)   I was a “full figured” nine year old when I developed my  “period”. 

 I was an active semi-tom boy as a young lady.  I loved sports….I was not the best,  but I participated as much as possible.

  I was on a softball team while in junior high school.  I did gymnastics—which I loved to a certain extent. 

 I could not do the uneven bars because of an inner ear problem.  I could not swing myself up onto the bars without losing my perspective and balance. 

 I would swing throw my legs up and then I would subsequentcially fall because I would have the horrifying giddy sensation in the pit of my stomach and my head  would feel light, and my brain would release such powerful shots of “seemingly electrical volts down my spine.” 

I would loosen my grip on the uneven bar and find myself recuperating on the floor mat.  

  That would happen to me atleast 5 times out of 10 tries on the uneven bars in gymnastics class.  I stuck more to the balance beam, and the floor routines. 

I had the same problem of inner ear confusion but I would be able to prolong that reaction by doing other parts to the gymnastic routine by skipping etc.  Once I did a walkover (head over heel and vice versa) and I fell and banged the side bone of my left big toe.  I had to go to the doctor. 

Nothing was broken —but again that came from that “stupid”–weakness in my inner ear that affects balance.  I also loved Karate!  I had fallen in love with Bruce Lee and the Martial Arts movies he made.  So my parents enrolled me into the Jerome Mackey School of Martial Arts!  I took judo until I received another injury from  my inner ear issue.  My sparing partner had tossed me over her head in a move that I was not familiar with. 

 I lost my balance and slid across the canvas mat and busted my lower lip.  My head throbbed for days and I felt dizzy.  I stopped judo.  I took up karate and I liked it better than judo. 

 Only exception was I did not like to spar!  I am such a baby!  I rode my bike, and played with the neighborhood kids.  I had a pretty good weight. 

 Remember,  I am 47 years old and I am not of the video game generation.  I played with my Barbie dolls and entertained myself by watching the BRADY BUNCH,  I LOVE LUCY, HERE’S LUCY, LOST IN SPACE,  THE BEGINNING EPISODES OF STAR TREK, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, FLINTSTONES,  HONEY MOONERS etc. 

So basically I was an active kid when my favorite television programs were not on.

So how did I go from a size 13/14 to a WHOPPING  size 22/24? 

 Where did everything go wrong?  I grew up with a 1/2 acre of back yard,  I played hard with my cats and dogs, and ran up and down the peaceful neighborhood street with my neighborhood friends. 

We played games on the stoop,  and played hopscotch,  hide-and- go-seek etc.  I was not fat at all.  As I got older,  men and young boys would ogle over my tiny waist and full hips and body.  So why do I look like a  big ole’ sack o’ potatoes right now? 

Genetic Predisposition Maybe?  But my mother never looked as bad as I do right now!  I know, I know….don’t put myself down right?  Well, it just gets me a bit frustrated and hurts my feelings abit. 

 I want to where cute outfits and bright cheery colors.  Yes, I am aware of the Avenue,  Ashley Steward,  Lane Bryant Stores and Plus size areas in Macy’s etc.,  But it does not matter.  Big is still big.  They  do not  match the designs that I could see myself wearing! 

 For example,  look at Victoria Secret Stores.  I cannot buy anything in that store unless it is perfume.

  They do not make bras for sale at the UGLY over grown size of 42DD! 

 They make things in the 38CC  or D category….but my size seems over the top for them! 

 That is why I only venture in and make a BEE LINE for the lotions and perfumes only.

  I make my purchase and then walk hastily out of the store….so that the skinny ladies who can fit into those great designer bras and panties don’t give me that “ARE YOU KIDDING–ONCE OVER WITH THEIR JUDGEMENTAL EYES”! 

So getting back to my weight.  I am tired of being sick and tired.  I do not care what Monique from the “PARKERS” AND PHAT Girls (famed plus sized commedian)says about being plus sized!  

  FAT,  OR PHAT IS NOT CUTE! —What I am referring to is myself.  I have met and still do know personally some very phsically beautiful people who happend to be plus sized. 

I just want people to realize that I am aware that plus size body does not make a plus size heart.

  So when you feel stressed at work….does your heart beat in that “fight or flight mode because you may not agree with your co-worker over a given topic. 

 So for  the entertainment reason…yes plus size is good….but for those of us who run a household it is not easy to pick up babies,  and cook and clean daily….it becomes a hardship when weight turns simple tasks difficult.

 My jellyroll of a stomach,  and thick stubby legs that make me trip over side walk cracks–is not appealing.  —Honestly,  I fit my clothes better when I was size 13/14!  I had a flat….a real flat stomach back then.  I could do sit ups and push ups and even stretch. 

 I did  Yoga every night back then.  So what has happened you ask?  Well when I met my husband at age 27 I was still in good shape.  Great shape from what he had told me back then.  We met at Queens College while we both attended. 

He was assisting the teacher in swimming class.  I was a student.  I was very shy, I kept my towel rapped around my  waist until it was time to get into the water of the olympic sized pool. 

 I was so embarressed naturally.  Ugh….my husband told me that my body was great….that he would wait for me to take my towel off.  Well any way the rest is history.  We got married,  and issues arose, ensued and he became castastrophically sick and all I have to show of my love for him is my beautiful ONE child who is currently 14 years old. 

I have heard and have read that STRESS can make you fat!  Have you heard that one yet?!  Well, after what I went through in loosing my husband….I should weigh in at about 700 pounds I figure! 

 But really I do not eat as much as what people think about fat people.  I actually have stomach pain most of the time. 

I do not eat breakfast, because I get this bad reaction where I have pain with the first food that hits my stomach….then in a 1/2 hour I feel extremely sleepy….my arms feel heavy and I have to keep putting water on my face, and sometimes I have to even just go sit in a restroom stall at work to keep from passing out!  So I do not eat breakfast…it creates a problem. 

 I checked with my doctors who have no explanation for this syndrome.  So I continue not to eat breakfast.  I see everybody else around me —you know the healthy weight people eating breakfast, sharing food and having a good time about it. 

I eat lunch between 11:00 and 1:30.  I then have dinner at home.  I do not buy junk food.  I do my cooking…but I do not fry anything excep hamburger and some fish.

  I make broiled salmon, and some other fish broiled.  I tend to eat late at night…which is a BIG NO, NO!  I am usually working over time. 

Sometimes, I work 12 to 14 hours a day! When I get home I am too tired to cook.  I get up very early *4 AM and I may leave work at 1pm. 

 I am so tired that I cook and go to bed immediately.  So yes I know what you are thinking….I must get a better schedule right?

However, I need my job.  My kid has medical problems and I cannot quit my job–it has decent health coverage.  

With all my issues to the side for a minute ….I have contemplated the surgery.  I am afraid of that type of hard action.  Although I might sound like a good candidate. 

 I do have high blood pressure….which may not be a good reaction to stomach stapling or placing the “ring” on my stomach either.  I believer I will go out and purchase the sweat pants and shirt and just start walking again. 

I MUST START WALKING TO BEGIN TO LOOSE WEIGHT! 

 I will use that as a option because I started to loose weight over the summer when I was walking ten blocks to catch the bus to work when my car was in the shop for an entire month. 

After I got over the actual 2 weeks of pain in my calves etc.  I began to notice a difference.  Not a big difference….but a difference nonetheless! 

So that is my NEW YEARS RESOLUTION!!!!!******I RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY—WILL COMMITT AS MUCH THOUGHT AND TIME TO ((((((WALKING)))))))  AS I DO TO THIS BLOG.  I will attempt to walk atleast 1 hour everyday….or better yet I will start walking 15 minutes, for a week, and then increase it the next week.  I have to start slow….I have a heart to consider today.

 So what about you?  Are you going to take and make a difference in your own life for the  coming year?  Do you need to loose weight like …or  do you need to accomplish some other goal?  “ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY!”  (UNKNOWN AUTHOR)

 Sit  down and truly think about your goals for the year 2008!  Plan it , structure it, and tell your family and friends so that they will help you get your act to gether. 

I have told my 14 year old to help Mommy to loose weight.  I asked him to walk with me for the first week of my walk and lose weight campaign!

As you can see, by this blog you who need to loose some weight—start slow….You did not gain weight over night….and you will not lose weight over night….atleast healthy weight loss  saves lives!

Take your time,  TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR AND TELL HIM YOUR GOALS FOR YOURSELF FOR 2008!!! Take it slow  and follow doctors orders.  Becareful with the weight loss surgery. 

Till next blog…in which  I will talk about two people I know who had the two mentioned  medical techniques I described earlier.

Riveroflifelisajoy!

HOLIDAY SHOPPING! DO YOU WANT REAL BLING BLING OR THE FAKE DING DING?!!! I CAN TELL YOU WHERE TO GET THE DING! DING!

foliage.jpg December 27 2007 update____I was able to purchase housecoats, and silky rayon nigthies for 3.99 a piece! 

 I got all of this for $67.00! 


I even purchased 5 SETS OF Queen Size Sheet sets on Jamaica Avenue in a HouseWares store next to Modells for $3.99 also! 

 Hurry up and get there.  All different styles and colors.  My mother loved hers!  It was used on the full size bed. 

 I always buy a size up to make up for any type of shrinage! 

 The colors are clear and the designs are crisp! 

 I got my son some great thermal design shirts for $10.00 in Modells too!

  I really saved loads of money on Jamacia Avenue for this holiday Shopping.

  I really buy things that the family needs…never the pricey jewelry!  The house wares also had  3 large bath towels for $10.00.

   I brought five sets of sheets and I am going back for more!!! 

AT  $3.99 how can you go wrong?  I am so excited….I love Valley Stream….but you will never get prices that cheap on houseware items….I know….I am a window shopper for life!  

 Till next up date!  RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY!

I was on Jamaica Avenue the other day( I usually go to Green Acres Mall) but I had some business to take care of regarding my utility bill.  But as I was walking I noticed alot of things on sale that were very cheep. 

 Skirts,  dresses,  jeans,  sweaters,  pajamas,  table  clothes,  housewares,  and suitcases galore!  I love the flea market,  but suddenly Jamaica Avenue was starting to look quite appealing! 

I have various reasons why I did not shop Jamaica Avenue but to be honest,  the area has turned over a new leaf!  It has government buildings,  city buildings,  the Long Island Rail Road,  the Kennedy Airport Tram and a whole host of stores from furniture, baby needs,  and concept stores too. 

 Of course the well known slightly larger than a boutique stores like the “Avenue” for large women,  and a food court for food lovers hides down a quiet side street around the corner for White Castles.  My new Hair Dresser is down a quiet street off of Jamaica Avenue also. 

But my purpose of this rit–is to discuss the “jewlery stores.”  I did see a ZALES Jewlery Store on Jamaica Avenue!  I was shocked! 

 Look,  I do not buy jewlery, because I have never had the desire to spend my rent,  utility bill,  car insurance payment,  or grocery money on a tennis braclet, or even a gold plated  14K gold necklace.

  I believe that such purchases are for those who have it ALL!!  Don’t get me wrong,  I know you can put things on “layaway”–  but for me….something always comes up that interferes with my making payments on that layaway and then I get the phone call or letter that informs me that I am about to lose that $100.00 that I put down on that item.

  Two times that happened to me in Green Acres Mall with  jewlery store.  All I wanted was a GOOD watch….an adult watch for a lady,  for a church going lady,  for a mommy who works hard to care for her family, blah, blah,  blah,—of  course I had to talk myself into this investment—because I always feel guilty if I buy something for myself! 

  –So, anyway,  I purchased this Citizen watch for only $120.00! (It was on sale from $170.00) That was a lot of money for my limited funds.

  But I had convinced myself that I deserved it.  So I put down my deposit and then I fell behind on the payments because of  family and home economic problems. 

 I finally picked up my watch with the positive inspirational statements from the sales clerk, on how pretty it looked on my rather chubby brown arm!  I admired it and stared at it so hard,  ( because no one ever purchased any expensive watch or jewlery for me in my entire life!) 

 I thought that I had finally grown up at my early years of 42!  How sad,  isn’t it? —I  wore my watch with pride at work

  I received the usual compliments and then one day, getting   into my car I noticed that my little friend was missing from its perch on my chubby brown wrist.

  It was fall weather and I had not raked the leaves infront of my house. 

 I kicked, and kicked until the yard looked worse then ever!  I was so very lazy about raking leaves! 

 My son came out of the house and must have thought I was reliving my childhood!  I was swinging my arms and kicking the leaves frantically! 

  I almost fell on the ground because of this non sense!  I grew exhausted from my wasted efforts. 

 I could not find my watch….my beautiful,  gold tone, link watch!  I did notice that the clasp had become loose.  But it was not that severe to me. 

However,  after that final day with my friend,  my dearly departed grown up lady, church going lady,  hard working mommy Citizen Watch,  almost seven years ago….I have not laid another deposit on any jewlery! 

 So I chose to purchase cheap $10.00 funny looking watches that I don’t even take a second glance at once they are on my cubby brown arm!  Just tell me that time is all I care about. 

 No more attempts at Bling Blining it!  So if you want to Ding,  Dinging it with me….go to Jamaica Avenue….there are plenty of shops that offer such items that are not pricey and  will not break your heart if they have an untimely departure from your neck,  wrist, finger, or ankle! 

And for those who can afford the pricey….go to that Zales! 

I also found a great Army color design sweat suit for my son!  It only cost $15.00!  It was great!  My son is tall but skinny! 

 He is athletic in build so he can wear anything!  I found those “mink” blankets for the bed—also those beautiful over the top bed spreads with matching bed skirt, the whole shabang for $25.00 to $30.00. 

 There were “heavy comforters”  for sale for $14.00  in the various stores ( one in particular called ALEXIS) as I walked down Jamaica Avenue! 

I thought to myself  that if I had atleast two to three hundred dollars I could purchase several good gifts for my family and a few friends! 

So I got so excited.  I can’t wait to get back to that street.  I will park car and stop being so lazy to walk.  I will pick up the not so Macy’s,  not so JCPenny,  not so Marshalls items and give my little family something to unwrap under the Christmas Tree.

  I do not have a credit card ….so I cannot afford the big name stores!  I only can buy cash!  I love Macy’s women’s department! 

But do you know that women who wear a size 22 or above cannot buy a coat in Macys for less than $200.00?  I saw a FAKE….FAKE….Lamb Skin Coat for $400.00!!! 

What did they put in that thing?  Did they sew it with Gold thread?  It is fake lamb skin!  Who is wearing size 22 and can afford a $400.00 coat? 

 What makes it worse is that the stupid coat will never be at a price I can afford.  Even if they lower it to $200.00 —I have a car insurance that is $218.00 every month!

 I already told you that I feel guilty to purchase anything pricey for myself.  I will spend good money in Marshalls for my son….but for myself,  unless I am going out to perform (which I will be  singing next week,  to start off this holiday season)  I do not buy beautiful clothes for myself.

  I buy for my son first and myself last!  I feel joy when I see the happy look on my child’s face when I give him something that he truly wanted or enjoyed for Christmas! 

So if you do not have alot of money,  but want to give nice gifts that look good too….try Jamaica Avenue in Queens New York!  Oh, and there is a movie theatre there too.  The buses, and trains are all central to that location. 

Happy Holidays,  and Good Bargin Hunting!!!  And look,  it is the thought that counts!  So pick up some Ding,  Ding if you cannot afford the expensive stores like Macys and JCPenny! 

 Just  get good boxes,  good wrapping paper and pretty bows!  —Okay,  Okay,  for those of you that must have the Bling,  Bling,  run to T.J. Maxx,  Marshalls,  and Fashions for Less in Valley Stream.  Also check those stores for the good clearance items. 

 You might be surpised at what you find!  You might like the sales. 

Another good gift giving  item I like is the fruit baskets!  I used to make them myself.  I liked do that in my mothers old neighborhood! 

 Certain elderly neighbors who were not family,  just community friends for years—I would make up a basket of brownies, and cupcakes, and fruit!  They would love it!  I remember  an elederly lady named Granny that used to babysit me for years. 

I would go to the house with my son when he was six or seven and have him learn the value of “giving to the less fortunate and the lonely during the holidays!  Granny looked forward to my little holiday baskets. 

 I enjoyed the look of happiness on her face, and the look of quiet shock and affection on my sons little face when Granny would reach down and give him a kiss on his forehead and “thank  him” for giving her such a lovely gift for Christmas. 

 She would then invite us inside and we would sit and talk while my son would play with her grandchildren.

  The holidays can be beautiful if you keep the real meaning for the season in your gift giving!  I will write more if I find more bargins!

riveroflifelisajoy!

WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO OPRAH?

I remember rushing home to watch Oprah at 4:00 every day after work.  I had an early shift and I would love to have my afternoon snack and unwind with Oprah and her special “tear jerking” guests!

  I enjoyed the eye opening discussions on women who had filty homes,  or habits that were destroying their finances and ruining their marriages.  Then she started her book club.  I really could not get into that too much,  but I enjoyed listening to the discussions on the books. 

 I watched Oprah go from a size twenty-two (my current size) and shrink to a size 10!!!  I was happy for her,  and even a bit jealous!  I thought,  I could lose weight too if I had my own personal weight trainer, maids to clean the house when I was too weak, exhausted  after all of the exercise, and lack of food. 

America On Line Black Voices Blog by Marcus Vanderburg in which there was a pol and a count down of all of Oprah’s mistakes for the year 2007.  The  worse mistakes had a pol and I will list them according to the Black Voices POl as follows:

Oprah Supports Supremacist — 44%  -54,459

South African School–  36%- 45,236

K-Fed on Ophra Winfrey Show–  11%- 13,482

Vernon Winfrey Tell All Book–  5%- 5,656

Total Votes–124,285

*************This Pol was taken from the Every Body Hates Marcus AOL Black Voices —Pol on Oprah’s Biggest Mistakes of the Year  2007****************************** 

 But anyway,  I always gloried in Oprahs spunk!   She is dark complexioned like me, and she has weight problems like me.  I could really relate to her! 

 When I heard that she is a “BILLION DOLLAR WOMAN—ENTERPRISE MEGGA DIVA”  I was shocked,  amazed,  and filled with hope and envy! 

 I wished that had been me, but I also knew that such a large powerful cooperation has a megga price to be paid! 

 I knew that all could not be well in paradise!  I knew when I heard that Oprah and Stedman were having fights, and that she tossed him out in the middle of a dinner that there were difficulties ahead for her.   First of all she did not appear to have control on what was being “leaked” to the press—even if it was from the National Enquirer. 

 Her gal pal Gail seemed to illicit some type of negative attitude(from gossip talk shows, like Wendy Williams, at 107.5 WBLS)  about Oprah and her alleged intimate relationship. 

 Oprah seemed to ignore that stuff,  but today I was reading the America On Line Black Voices -EVERY BODY HATES MARCUS- BLOG –and I became concerned about the future of Oprah!

The blog asked me to place a vote on what I thought the worse mistake of Oprah was this year.

After placing my vote I was surprised by the tally.  I thought that the African School issue would have been more of a concern to people.  The supremacist was clearly an error. 

 That was an issue as explained by the Everybody Hates Marcus Article, that was a children’s book on the Oprah book list of her book club, by an author who had written speaches for well known advocate of segregation, Govenor George Wallace. 

Her large staff probably just made an oversight in that area.  But I find the incident of child abuse on children who live in South Africa appauling! 

 I had written a response when that was first listed in the AOL Black Voices blog - that I could not understand how Ophra could run a school on a long distance mentality. 

 I felt that she needed to have a more hands on approach.  Just because you send the money to the school,  or hand out directives does not mean it is being followed through. 

 It is important to have a direct knowledge of any program that has your name heading it!  That I believe is the biggest mistake of all. 

Remember,  the children are helpless,  and so are the parents—especially since they live in South Africa!  I do not want to place a negative spin on the parents,  or the nation of South Africa,  but truly you must see the need to be sensitive when addressing any “self-help” issues over there. 

 Africa as a continent is very complicated.  Too many people have underestimated the intelligence,  the wisdom,  and the strong honorable ancestory of the people of Africa. 

South Africa is a country that is forming a new society and new mentality internally.  Therefore Ophra,  I believe should have had a more “hands on” approach to developing a school for those children. 

 I also had heard that it appeared that she was too strict on the children.  Obviously she did not do her homework on the culture of the children and their parents. 

 I have personal knowledge from discussions I have had with  African people that I have met from Nigeria who have told me about very strong behavior rules, and values that they teach their children. 

 That is a very sticky situation to get involved in.  But as I just stated,  she should have done more homework on the issue, and visited at least once a month and had a walk through and been more of a hands on person than just a benefactor across the seas. 

No one is perfect.  Having a billion dollar cooperation does not make anyone into a saint,  or make them a genious either.  But I still believe taking a more hands on approach,  or stop or quit some of the other projects inorder to give proper attention to the children. 

So back to my title, “What will happen to Oprah?”  I am growing concerned because it seems to me that people, on the Black Voices pol–who are most likely blacks—do  not seem to like the Oprah of 2007.  I believe they liked the old Oprah of yesteryear. 

 You know, back maybe ten years ago before she started loosing weight and having Tom Cruise on the show etc., etc..

Oprah is trying to steer a Megga Airplane all by herself! 

 Yes, she does have supportive staff,  but who can tell what true loyalty is nowadays?  I wonder if everybody from the “group” of Oprah from her assistants to her gal pal Gail really has Oprah’s best interest at heart. 

 Or, is  she, Oprah, listening to the suggestions of her staff.  Does she have enough “down time” alone to really think out and plan out her next ventures? 

 Does she really have good accountants counting up the costs of her ventures and giving her all the facts and figures on her ventures.  What is her debt to income ratio? 

 I would hate to see that she suddenly owes the government, or finds that someone is filing sometype of allegations of megga proportions against her for maltreatment of some sort. 

 It seems like  the year she turned fifty was a good year for her.  She gave away cars,  houses,  trips and dreams to people over here in the United States!  But when she ventured out she came under fire. 

 I wish for her all of the best.  I hope that her family and friends support her and help her to stay on track. 

 Oprah for me has been a role model….not perfect….but still a role model nonetheless.  She gave me the ability to dream past my small kitchen and my 15inch color T.V. sitting on the counter taking up space because  I cannot affort a mounted flat screen like some of my BABY BOOMER COHORTS!

 I  enjoyed Oprah in that she allowed  herself to be available to SUCCESS! 

 We need heros in this world….and I want Oprah to stay my hero!  Stay well,  and stay Successful Oprah—we–the world,  need you!

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