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MINISTER JUANITA BYNUM AND SHOCK JOCK WENDY WILLIAMS OF WBLS 107.5–WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO WHEN IT COMES TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Before I proceed allow me to explain.  It is important to understand this one major point.  NO WOMAN SHOULD BE ABUSED FOR ANY REASON AT ALL!  NO HUMANBEING SHOULD BE ABUSED FOR ANY REASON AT ALL!

   Now,  I will proceed.  I looked at the blogs and news paper articles on Minister Juanita Bynum and her marriage abuse/domestic violence episode that is ripping her marriage and ministry. 

Then I looked at Wendy Williams of the Wendy Williams Experience, and her EEO case with Nicole Spence involving her husband Kevin Hunter and –the domestic violence episodes that are threatening her very lucrative career. 

 I began to wonder.  Wendy has a following of faithful listeners, and Juanita Bynum has a following of faithful listeners TOO! 

Strange huh?!  Except Wendy does not preach the Gospel. 

 Wendy has a daily four hour show that goes from  2:00 P.M. until 7:00 P.M. .  Juanita Bynum has a church,  has CDs,  DVD’s for sale,  she tours the country and many, many other options for reaching her flock of faithful followers! 

 The obvious similarity is that they are both HIGH POWERED TYPE- A- PERSONALITY BLACK WOMEN! 

Who can rival them?—–THEIR HUSBANDS! 

 Both Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum are both powerful black women that stand tall and stong in their own work and careers.

 Yet they are challenged by the problems of domestic violence in their home ((((which is being displayed publicly))) despite their efforts to keep private pain private. 

 Why are their husband’s possibly challenging these two strong women in their careers? 

Why would  the  husbands  of these two very opposite…yet equally powerful and influential women–  allow their private marital behavior jeopardize their very successful wives in the year 2007 and 2008? 

  Let us think for a  moment….As  African Decent  women,  Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum have come a long way and have taken the lead within the black community in the United States, and possibly even in the world and the “global economy!” **Not to mention Ophra of course***

 Wendy Williams was broadcasting from California today!  She attracts all walks of life,  despite her sporadic rants about “white people” and her blackness.

  She recently complained about how her son’s Montclair New Jersey school district have suggested that the children wear “green” for  St. Patricks Day.  But when she had inquired as to what the children could wear for “Black History Month,” or “Martin Luther King Day”….she was flatly told that there was nothing that the children could wear for such annual events in American Society. 

 So Wendy did not say that she would not have her son wear green….or wait a minute …my mind is not clear if she was against him actually wearing the green but I remember Wendy Williams  stating “I have a plan for that day.”   This is a strong woman. 

 She maintains her “HOW YOU DON’IN”  AND “Hee Haw”  for the “Donkey People (folks who do not know how to avoid being used and abused, and coming back for more…or the people  who “steal” other people’s mates etc., etc.,)  But as she states….”At the end of the day …I am a mother and a wife!” 

That is why this whole circumstance of the domestic violence and the Nicole Spence EEO issue  has floored me. 

That is why I looked at Juanita Bynum,  whose “No More Sheets” sermon stirred so many Christian and Non-Christian Believers to stop taking less in life; stop taking less in their personal relationships; and take back from the devil what he stole from them….their pride,  their self esteem,  their will to live,  their joy…..etc., etc..

Believe it or not….Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum have alot in common….They just reach people in a different way.  Juanita Bynum preaches and uses scripture and Wendy Williams uses a SideKick  Charlemene. Wendy Williams also uses her various interactive draws called  Dons and Divas Dances, and  even children in events for Easter  (last year  2007). 

 I did not hear anything about a children Dons and Divas Kiddie affair for 2008—I might have missed it.  Sound Effects,  Ghetto Street Talk, Alternative Life style talk and various genres of communication to preach her message of intelligence. 

 Wendy always tries to tell those who feel like misfits in the current society that they will be accepted on her show. 

 Now,  unfortuneately   I have seen, and heard about the Christian Church…not so nice things on the level of accepting the”misfits of society” based on religious reasons….(((despite Jesus reprimand  of men who wanted to stone the harlot woman for her sins….

Jesus said, “He without sin cast the first stone….and No one cast the stone….they all walked away ashamed.”  Jesus truly turned to the harlot woman and told her to “Go and sin no more,  your sins are forgiven!”  Sometimes this verse is very seldom discussed or preached….I wonder why? 

Well,  any way….I will continue this further later on. 

 But just think about it for a minute….The two women I am comparing and contrasting here are both black,  high powered…..and very, very, very famous in the black community for different reasons…yet they both suffer from domestic violence. 

 But my question still remains….Is it the  effects of the power and the fame on the marriage that causes the stress and the strain? 

 Did these two women,  or other women  permit themselves to stay in bad marriages, or abusive relationships in order to maintain that appearance of SUCCESS to the OUTSIDE WORLD AT LARGE?

 To many Christians,   it does not seem proper to have a broken marriage after telling people how “Jesus can set the sinner free from bondage to death, hell and the grave.” 

It looks odd that Jesus is seemingly unable to prevent two Christians from breaking up, or fighting with each other over serious or silly issues.

  Personality conflicts,  irreconsilible differences that legal documents site for marriage break ups…seem strange in the Christain faith…because we are suppose to look beyond our differences and look at what fits the marriage like glue….JESUS!  

So that is  possibly why the Powerful Juanita Bynum and her abusive marriage/domestic violent episode  is rocking the Christian Church and is so very painful and humiliating to watch, and hear about in the media. 

We want Jesus to fix it.  But see,  it has to be fixed within the two people….they have to both be willing….they have to release the issues that have bound them and then open themselves to healing. 

How difficult is that for such a Powerful Preacher Juanita Bynum and her Powerful preacher husband?

With Wendy Williams,  the struggle is severe but also it takes a different turn.  Wendy’s job as a Radio Shock Jock Journalist, is one in which she constantly opens the private lives of well known celebrities to public view through discussion, or interview. 

Now, listen,  Wendy always states….”I did not do the actual research….I only repeated what I read National Enquirer or  “Life and Style” Magazine.  So you can’t say I had an insider tell me and I let the cat out of the bag.”—Wendy Williams…(paraphrase only) 

No,  but she does discuss celebrity gossip as a major part of her show ~~~~just like I am writing about and comparing and contrasting her and Juanita Bynum. 

 If you do not pass gossip along…then you are not a gossiper….but if you join in on the chain of lies…or truths…or whatever they be….you then cannot say that you are not part of the problem….can you? 

 Example,  Britney Spears personal struggles have been so hightlighted by the media that every body knows that Britney Spears may go out on the town with out underwear on ….to night clubs etc.  How do we all know about that? 

  Because the media gossip columnist and Rag Mags,  and Shock Jocks on the radio, and even the regular news channels are constantly showing pictures, or describing  Britney Spears even doing mundane activities like shopping with a friend.

Thus  Wendy Williams is being trashed by her rivals for being a gossip shock jock and now she is embroiled in her own personal dilemmas. 

 So her rivals on Hot 97 are jumping up and down at her troubles and  Wendy is catching the Heat!  

 Wendy is catching the heat like no one else…except Janet Jackson did after her “wardrobe malfunction” during that football game a couple of years ago. Perfect lovable Janet Jackson made a big mistake and it took several years to live it down. 

 The public is not very forgiving of its’  “American Idols”–so it seems.  Thus the troubles of Wendy Williams—high powered black woman in a high stakes position in the radio and television media/journalism industry….So again I ask…

.Why would her also “black” husband not realize the opportunity they both have to pave the road for young minorities of all races….are the issues in the marriage that severe or that trivial?

  It is like being at the top of a mountain….Let’s say Mount Everest….a very tall mountain upon which you can see the future….and yet you worry about a splinter in your finger!

  To remedy that splinter is easy….but that distance you wish to travel will be a long, long road filled with bumps, valleys, dark places, and bogs….so move forward and not look back.

  It is sad to see our hopefuls that give our youth vision….for the Old Testament states….”Without a Vision the People Perish!” 

  So that is why I  focused on these two women and the men they are married to.  Do they not realize that their lives have impacted on so many generations  to come?  Probably not.

The problem I have with domestic violence is that it appears that the man (any man)  who either rapes a woman,  or beats a woman….uses those extreme methods to have POWER over a situation inwhich the man feels powerless. This is a difficult issue to say the least.

What do you think?

Riveroflifelisajoy

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Controversy of the New Governor Paterson: I Need Parental Guidance for the Latest News Stories! Wow! Threesomes….I never thought such Words would be connected to Elected Officials!

   Jay Jewels Cry FOR HUMANITY(Jay Jewels “Cry for Humanity”)

I just can not take it anymore!  I had heard alot of negative things about Spitzer  before this  big mess came to the front.  All I want to know is this.  When he was having these activities where were his security team? 

Look,  I really do not want to discuss Spitzer.  I just want to know why the news papers have to keep making each head line full of words that you do not want to discuss in front of your kids….even your older kids for that matter.

  I am very open  in discussion with my family on many topics.       But the McGreevy issue was so way over the top of my level of existence I was embarressed.  I felt like I had a furtive glance over at the dirty magazine section in the subway newsstand!  I do not know what the future holds! 

What was worse is  that today I saw our new Governor’s wife’s foot bottom with her big toe sticking way out from underneath her leg in a yoga pose on the front of the Daily News!  Is that really neccesary?  Is it required to show every aspect of our elected officials private selves?

  I will not have the bottoms of my feet and big toe photographed just to get a private sector or public service job!  I just do not get it!  Did the legally blind new Governor Paterson cheat on his wife for three years or less? 

 Why did I have to know about it?   I do not believe any one has not cheated …even if it has been emotional cheating.  You know what I mean.  The type of cheating that involves the phone calls to a good “friend” from work. 

 You eat lunch with this person and laugh about job issues, get frustrated together,  complain about the same stuff and cry on each other’s shoulder when the other does not get that much wanted  promotion.  YOu know what I mean!  That job friend that is of the opposite  sex! 

 Emotional committment….days that person is absent from work…are empty days.  Sometimes you might even tell your spouse that you work friend was sick and work slowed up in his or her absence!  You just could not hide your emotions about the empty feeling you had all day.  So now you mope!

Any way,  I digress!  The problem I find in all of this open discussion is that after a while everyone will be found guilty!  Even today in the AOL Black Voices blog….the mayor of Detroit, who is black  is now being told to step down for not telling the truth about his affair! 

 This had nothing to do with his actual job.  But if you have cheated on your spouse, or had an affair you must come clean about it!  Or you face being let go under big,  big,  shame!  “THE SCARLET LETTER HAS RETURNED!”  —for those of you who are literature buffs! 

 Do we have to now tell of the crushes we had as little kids, tweens, teenagers,  then pets we owned,  aunts, uncles, we liked  or did not like?

  Do we have to tell of the time we accepted a gift and then turned around and regifted it because we lied about how much we liked something and really didn’t?  Are there going to be lie detector tests that will analize whether we tell somebody that the dress they brought looks good on them or not and whether we mean it? 

Do you have to now double check yourself and your personal relationships before you apply for a job?  Where will this end?  Public service is truly public isn’t it?  I just can’t take it any more. 

 I do not  want to know so much personal information.  I want to just know that I can get my taxes lowered,  get an increase in my annual pay,  go to college cheaper,  pay for my dental work cheaper….lose weight safely and go on trips in our free country!  Prosititution is not acceptable….definitely not! 

But do I have to see Governor Paterson’s wife’s FEET on page #2 of the Daily News?  Can we leave nothing private?  I never saw Nancy Reagan’s feet,  I never saw Hillary Clinton’s feet,  I never saw Jimmy Carter’s (President Carter’s) wife’s feet! 

 So why is Mrs. Paterson’s life so exposed?  JUST TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!!  JUST LOWER THE RATES OF CAR INSURANCE!

  LOWER THE RATES OF MORTGAGES!  LOWER THE RATES OF HEALTH INSURANCE!  LOWER THE RATES OF TOLLS ON THE BRIDGES,  LOWER THE PRICE OF FOOD….GET THE MYSTERY GARBARGE  ADDITIVES,  OUT OF OUR FOOD.  STOP GLOBAL WARMING, SAVE THE POLAR BEAR,  SAVE THE SEA ANIMALS, STOP DREDGEING THE OCEAN FLOOR AND KILLING OFF THE BARRIER REEFS,  STOP OVER FISHING,  ETC., ETC., ETC.,!  

Can we get back to business please and save the planet and mankind please!  The only bare foot I want to see is that of a homeless person getting shoes and socks put on it! 

AM I WRONG?  PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Thank you.

—-riverolflifelisajoy

I am Not my Mother: The Desparity of Black Family Income to White Family Income–Does it Really Matter?

duckies at playI grew up in a house hold that was definitely black middle class.  But what happened to me?  Why am I doing so badly? 

My IQ is suffering here.  I just read  information according to the Stanford News Release from 1994 which is a kind of interesting look back to the attitudes of that time period.  I found  the “Bell Curve” discussion and how it relates to the black income and the white income based on intelligence. 

Well,  my black husband became Paranoid Skizophrenic—-That stupid taboo disease that people are afraid to talk about!  Mental illness tends to strike a cord of laughter in some people —BLACK OR WHITE!!!—

I am not my mother relates to the life that she was living when  she was 47 and the life I now live at 47 years old.  I am severely financially strapped!   I am on definite hard times!  But is it because I have a Low IQ?  

 I attended and completed 69 Credits at Queens College and then  attended  Nyack College to fill in the total number of 128 credits to accomplish my bachelors degree.   I have only 3 more Life Experience essays to complete my Bachelor of Science in Organizational Managment. 

I completed my course work for the major Organizational Management.  I wrote a thesis called “How to Increase Productivity of Related Service Providers and Teaching Staff of the ABC School. ”  The thesis had a power point presentation, and a 28 question survey that I computed the tally of the information of  those people who took the survey.  After I completed the graphs I had over 100 pages of thesis.  I received an A-.  I did all this while working a full time –40 hour work week and caring for my elderly mother, and my son.  

 The essays are only for the completion of electives which can be on any topic so long as it displays “LEARNING ACHIEVED ACADEMICALLY.” 

 I play instruments and I write music.  But that does not put food on the table.  My day job puts food on the table!  But it is not enough money! 

I have good health benefits—but not enough cash flow for entertainment,  food,  utilities,  and even  nessecities. 

I have been getting my food at the food pantry too for the past few weeks.  (Food Pantry are several  a local churches  that receive donations and give it out to the general public in the community.)  No proof of need required.  

I am scared every second because of the rise in the gasoline prices,  food prices,  sneaker prices(for my son),  even sanitary napkins draw fear from my heart!   EVERY THING IS EXPENSIVE!!!  My son, my mother and myself use a expensive Scott  Toilet paper!!!! 

 My  problem is that I have 19 years on my job.  To start all over is  not a good idea for me at this time.

** PROBLEM  FOR THOSE IQ CHALLENGED:  My little family has medical problems.

Remember I am a black woman,  over weight,  gaped toothed,  prematurely grey, and pleasant enough. 

 But then is my problem>—IS MY IQ HOLDING ME BACK FROM COMING UP TO SOLUTIONS TO MY FINANCIAL DILEMA?

  Who will help me—this poor black talented  woman who plays a classical instrument (the cello), writes prose,  and poetry,  short stories, and has written copyrighted songs. 

I want help but every body comes with some type of  strings attached ,  or will not help without a dollar to be paid from my pocket to theirs. 

 So I can not move to another job—until my life gets stable!—Stability is based on the medical condition of my son and my  mother!

  Before we get to the desparity between my white counter part Baby Boomers–let us see the desparity between my mother and me–so you will not confuse us.

My mother lived in her house for nearly 40 years.  I lived in my house for only 4 years.  I had a house with three kitchens,  two full bathrooms, and  1 bathroom with a shower in the basement. 

I had a black top driveway and a tennant that lived up on the second floor and a great amount of loving pets….Now all gone from my life.  My mom was an anmal lover and my Dad allowed her to have cats and dogs!!! 

My Mom was a house wife!!!  I was only home when my son was born for 11 months .  Afterward I went back to work I started looking for my first house.

  But lost it in four years!–Of course due to my husband’s illness. 

 My father did have diabetes….but it never prevented him from working.  My father was well known for being a work horse!!! 

 My father took his diabetes medicine by needle in his stomach.  But he still jumped up at 9pm and got to work so he could provide for his family. 

 My husband became so separated from reality that he thought my son and I were not his original wife and child—we were imposters as far as he was concerned! Due to the skizophrenia,  my husband became missing from our lives for nearly ten years now. Truly a tragic situation!

 My mother  attended political functions all the time.  She was get dressed up  in sequin gowns and go to dinner dances of the elected officials when I was a kid. 

I on the other hand do not go out to dinner unless it is I – Hop,  once in a while TGIFridays maybe every two years.  I never get invited to go to any place because people know that I cannot afford a nice dress, or new shoes!  I do not even own a pair of earrings! 

  Look my money pays the rent, etc.  So I take care of my family….What else new? 

So  mainly the disparity starts between me and my mother….MAYBE MY MOTHERS IQ IS HIGHER THAN MIND?!!! 

  My father was a black  WWII veteran.  Imagine how difficult that must have been.  He became a waivered Practical Nurse….on the front lines—that means he could do minor surgery—like stitch up a wound or something. 

I saw my father in action.  He did minor surgery on  my dog one time after the dog got cut on our hurricane fence while playing with the next door neighbor’s dog!  My father stitched the dog—no infections no vet visit!!! Amazing!!!  So where were his  African American IQ issues?!!!  —

My father kept two jobs at all times.  He used his nursing skill in a hospital emergency room,  and also in a children’s hospital during the day!  My father was also are Army Reservist Sgt.  in the Brooklyn Army off off Atlantic when I was a kid.

  My father died of diabetes when I was 21 years old.  I am 47 years old today—and I am a failure in comparison to him.  He held two jobs,  and owned his own house with the two car garage, and swiming pool too! 

 The house was big and bright and cheery!  I have in the opposite—I do not even have living room furniture at this point.  I have decent beds for the family.  But the high price of a couch is just to much for me on my own.  I cannot get a loan from any where because of  bankruptcy due to my single parent status,  no child support status from a missing  sick husband!!! 

So I guess my failure is that I am well educated but some how not functioning at peak to raise my income to the level of atleast $80,000.00 in the next year or so….matter of fact—at my age—who would want my abilities at this late stage of the game?    

My parents owned a house in Springfield Gardens Queens and were  able to put a pool in the back yard and still had room–plenty of room to spare. 

 My mother had an Irish female friend and they went into business together.  They used to drive to Brooklyn and buy antiques!!!  I told you—my father did well for a black man back in the 60’s and 70’s.

My father paid off the house before he died!   There were many issues with the house that I will discuss later.

 The actual point I am making is about my lack of financial Security—and wealth. 

Since my husband got sick,  he has been missing for 10 years total! 

I have to  feed, honour, and protect my son and my mon—So how does one do it? 

I cannot jump from one job to the next….It is better to hold on and pray at this time for me. 

Do I have an IQ problem?  Is that is what is holding me back from wealth like that of my white female friend who is married to a wealthy white man? 

Actually then  maybe she just married smart!   But there are not that many wealthy black men to chose from. 

They usually marry the white or non-black females—You know the Trophy Wives!!! Just like Kim Kardasshian! Talked about today in Black Voices AOL.   I can say this because I had a White female  friend who had  stated that she was her husband’s trophy   during  the time that my husband got sick and she was having to cope with a marriage that she wanted to get out of. 

 My friends problem that she already had two children by her husband.  But she could not take his “mood” swings.  She loved her husband dearly and she loved her too, but he was prone to outbursts of severe anger.

  She also did not get along with his family.  They were living in an apartment in his parents house and she did not like the conditions of the apartment. 

 I was not in that condition.  I loved my husband and I tried to cope with my inlaws.  But my husband got sick nonetheless, and his family blamed me for this entire situation. —What a mess!

  So,  maybe it is an IQ thing. 

 I will follow up later with my desparity with my White Cohort Baby Boomers and their financial stability in opposition to my financial instability.  

The following web sites  are the actual articles to which I am making reference on the ‘BELL CURVE DISCUSSION’:

http://www.boston.com/businessglobe/articles/2007/11/13black_white_income_gap_grew_since_70s_2007-grew since the 2007

http://news-service.standford.edu/pr/94/941109Arc4057.html