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Archive for Insomnia

COTTON MOUTH

Jay Jewels Cry FOR HUMANITYDry like the parchment of the

scroll of a writ

of so long ago

Thousands of years

hid away

Moments in the hands of

an anthropologist

crackling under his

sweaty palms

grasp

the dry old parchment

will melt away

if not put in sealed

archival containers

dry like the old linen dress

of yesteryear

like a ball of cottom in my mouth

the medical diagnosis

has come and gone

and now my sensations are

minimized

except for the diagnosis

pain that is ripping its’

way deep into my heart.

Trying to explain to my

child that he has to

take medication to save his

life.

Cotton mouth,

loss of taste for the

things you love.

Loss of sensation in my

feet and hands

Sitting I type not

feeling, not

wanting to feel the pain

deep searing a tunnel through

my stomach

I feel full,

gas overcomes my belly

cotton mouth

prevents me from

eating

like the fullness of

emptiness I hold

deep in my belly to

unfold until I scream from

pain and agony

Take the truth,

dealt the truth

no compassion

was the final blow

given

lost in a new

hell

fear of the unknown and

the diagonosis compells

the rickety fence of hell to

open and reveal the ominous

cavern that threatens to swallow

us whole

We must proceed my child

we must go in

Cotton mouth,

sweaty palms,

sweaty feet,

sudden compulsion to

release bodily fluids,

fight or flight sydrome

in full affect

compel me oh Lord

toward the light

Let taste return

Cotton Mouth–

I cannot swallow

for the diagnosis

itself is not paletable

The diagnosis was

given with such cold

precision like the blade

of the surgeons knife

Hold my hand my child

walk together we will

toward the tower of hell

but together we will

climb to heaven

despite the steely grasp of the  Cotton mouth!

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You Understood me Right? Riveroflifelisajoy prose & poetry

Bambo Huts by Riveroflifelisajoy              I said that… and then you said I think

Well, I guess we will sit here

at the brink in the

thoughts of

our own heads

as we lay in

our own separate

beds

On the telephone

late at night

talking until we

fall asleep

afraid to close our

eyes because

of what resides

behind the

eyelids and

the pain that

threatens to crawl

out of its’

hole and pull

us within its

dark abyss and

home

hell to which a

place I have

never wanted to

roam

In the losses

and the battles

and the gathering of

strength by

adverseries

weapons

So here we sit

on the telephone

complaining at

each other

for not

understanding

what the other said

not understanding

what the other

meant

I want to hang up now

still too  close

to being wide

awake to

hang up

Usually

we fall asleep

with the phone

as an open line

till one of us realizes  that

the other has

fallen asleep and

finally hangs up

the phone

Then the other sleeps with

the constant buzzing

and respeat recording from

the phone “Please Hang UP…”

Till the morning creeps through

the window

the nights conversation, last words

mumbled into the phone

receiver, the last thoughts of

agony over the past like the

sand of the beach blowing away

into your dreams and pain lowers it’s

ugly head and crawls back to

its abyss until

finally you have fallen

into the arms of

dreamless sleep

Frustration of not being

understood before sleep

overcame you now is

disolved into

slumber and light breathing

of a sleeper

arms and legs curled

into the fetus position

and your brow

no longer furrowed

but now your forehead

clear of anger lines

your mouth slighty agape

and your fist Bambo Huts by Riveroflifelisajoy

unfurled into an

open hand at rest

You understood me Right?

A distant conversation that

has been put to rest

until another time

Put to rest until the next

night when

sleep is hard to find

so the phone calls again

and the little arguements

until sleepiness and the

“Sand Man” comes with

bag in hand to lead you by the

hand to “Sleepy Time Land” —

the place that bids you welcome

and  possible freedom from your

frustrated, pain, anguished, anxious

day…..Come bids the Sand Man,  Come

recline, resign to be at

peace and rest

The ocean of Sleepiness is at

its’ crest

Jump aboard and

gather your sleepy eyes

and let the sleepy time fly

and soon those things

that troubled you will flee

and you can stay here

with me

the Sand Man….Little horse, little sheep

jumping the enternal fence and you can

count them all……

You awake and look around and

there you find your link

to sleep, the

telephone—laying next

to you and then you groan.

How long before I begin to

regain normal sleeping patterns?

The tradegy that took

your natural sleep patterns

away and turned your midnight

hours into day….2 years ago…

the loss, the hurt you asage with

midnight phone calls to a dear and

trusted friend

You fuss and argue

just to pass the time

so to usher in

the Sand Man and

his bag of sand that invites you

to sleep and

cast away the cares of

the day…..

You understood me ….

Right???????

—-FINI—-

……riveroflifelisajoy