Riveroflifelisajoy’s Weblog

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Archive for Leadership and Its Responsibility


Before I proceed allow me to explain.  It is important to understand this one major point.  NO WOMAN SHOULD BE ABUSED FOR ANY REASON AT ALL!  NO HUMANBEING SHOULD BE ABUSED FOR ANY REASON AT ALL!

   Now,  I will proceed.  I looked at the blogs and news paper articles on Minister Juanita Bynum and her marriage abuse/domestic violence episode that is ripping her marriage and ministry. 

Then I looked at Wendy Williams of the Wendy Williams Experience, and her EEO case with Nicole Spence involving her husband Kevin Hunter and –the domestic violence episodes that are threatening her very lucrative career. 

 I began to wonder.  Wendy has a following of faithful listeners, and Juanita Bynum has a following of faithful listeners TOO! 

Strange huh?!  Except Wendy does not preach the Gospel. 

 Wendy has a daily four hour show that goes from  2:00 P.M. until 7:00 P.M. .  Juanita Bynum has a church,  has CDs,  DVD’s for sale,  she tours the country and many, many other options for reaching her flock of faithful followers! 

 The obvious similarity is that they are both HIGH POWERED TYPE- A- PERSONALITY BLACK WOMEN! 

Who can rival them?—–THEIR HUSBANDS! 

 Both Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum are both powerful black women that stand tall and stong in their own work and careers.

 Yet they are challenged by the problems of domestic violence in their home ((((which is being displayed publicly))) despite their efforts to keep private pain private. 

 Why are their husband’s possibly challenging these two strong women in their careers? 

Why would  the  husbands  of these two very opposite…yet equally powerful and influential women–  allow their private marital behavior jeopardize their very successful wives in the year 2007 and 2008? 

  Let us think for a  moment….As  African Decent  women,  Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum have come a long way and have taken the lead within the black community in the United States, and possibly even in the world and the “global economy!” **Not to mention Ophra of course***

 Wendy Williams was broadcasting from California today!  She attracts all walks of life,  despite her sporadic rants about “white people” and her blackness.

  She recently complained about how her son’s Montclair New Jersey school district have suggested that the children wear “green” for  St. Patricks Day.  But when she had inquired as to what the children could wear for “Black History Month,” or “Martin Luther King Day”….she was flatly told that there was nothing that the children could wear for such annual events in American Society. 

 So Wendy did not say that she would not have her son wear green….or wait a minute …my mind is not clear if she was against him actually wearing the green but I remember Wendy Williams  stating “I have a plan for that day.”   This is a strong woman. 

 She maintains her “HOW YOU DON’IN”  AND “Hee Haw”  for the “Donkey People (folks who do not know how to avoid being used and abused, and coming back for more…or the people  who “steal” other people’s mates etc., etc.,)  But as she states….”At the end of the day …I am a mother and a wife!” 

That is why this whole circumstance of the domestic violence and the Nicole Spence EEO issue  has floored me. 

That is why I looked at Juanita Bynum,  whose “No More Sheets” sermon stirred so many Christian and Non-Christian Believers to stop taking less in life; stop taking less in their personal relationships; and take back from the devil what he stole from them….their pride,  their self esteem,  their will to live,  their joy…..etc., etc..

Believe it or not….Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum have alot in common….They just reach people in a different way.  Juanita Bynum preaches and uses scripture and Wendy Williams uses a SideKick  Charlemene. Wendy Williams also uses her various interactive draws called  Dons and Divas Dances, and  even children in events for Easter  (last year  2007). 

 I did not hear anything about a children Dons and Divas Kiddie affair for 2008—I might have missed it.  Sound Effects,  Ghetto Street Talk, Alternative Life style talk and various genres of communication to preach her message of intelligence. 

 Wendy always tries to tell those who feel like misfits in the current society that they will be accepted on her show. 

 Now,  unfortuneately   I have seen, and heard about the Christian Church…not so nice things on the level of accepting the”misfits of society” based on religious reasons….(((despite Jesus reprimand  of men who wanted to stone the harlot woman for her sins….

Jesus said, “He without sin cast the first stone….and No one cast the stone….they all walked away ashamed.”  Jesus truly turned to the harlot woman and told her to “Go and sin no more,  your sins are forgiven!”  Sometimes this verse is very seldom discussed or preached….I wonder why? 

Well,  any way….I will continue this further later on. 

 But just think about it for a minute….The two women I am comparing and contrasting here are both black,  high powered…..and very, very, very famous in the black community for different reasons…yet they both suffer from domestic violence. 

 But my question still remains….Is it the  effects of the power and the fame on the marriage that causes the stress and the strain? 

 Did these two women,  or other women  permit themselves to stay in bad marriages, or abusive relationships in order to maintain that appearance of SUCCESS to the OUTSIDE WORLD AT LARGE?

 To many Christians,   it does not seem proper to have a broken marriage after telling people how “Jesus can set the sinner free from bondage to death, hell and the grave.” 

It looks odd that Jesus is seemingly unable to prevent two Christians from breaking up, or fighting with each other over serious or silly issues.

  Personality conflicts,  irreconsilible differences that legal documents site for marriage break ups…seem strange in the Christain faith…because we are suppose to look beyond our differences and look at what fits the marriage like glue….JESUS!  

So that is  possibly why the Powerful Juanita Bynum and her abusive marriage/domestic violent episode  is rocking the Christian Church and is so very painful and humiliating to watch, and hear about in the media. 

We want Jesus to fix it.  But see,  it has to be fixed within the two people….they have to both be willing….they have to release the issues that have bound them and then open themselves to healing. 

How difficult is that for such a Powerful Preacher Juanita Bynum and her Powerful preacher husband?

With Wendy Williams,  the struggle is severe but also it takes a different turn.  Wendy’s job as a Radio Shock Jock Journalist, is one in which she constantly opens the private lives of well known celebrities to public view through discussion, or interview. 

Now, listen,  Wendy always states….”I did not do the actual research….I only repeated what I read National Enquirer or  “Life and Style” Magazine.  So you can’t say I had an insider tell me and I let the cat out of the bag.”—Wendy Williams…(paraphrase only) 

No,  but she does discuss celebrity gossip as a major part of her show ~~~~just like I am writing about and comparing and contrasting her and Juanita Bynum. 

 If you do not pass gossip along…then you are not a gossiper….but if you join in on the chain of lies…or truths…or whatever they be….you then cannot say that you are not part of the problem….can you? 

 Example,  Britney Spears personal struggles have been so hightlighted by the media that every body knows that Britney Spears may go out on the town with out underwear on ….to night clubs etc.  How do we all know about that? 

  Because the media gossip columnist and Rag Mags,  and Shock Jocks on the radio, and even the regular news channels are constantly showing pictures, or describing  Britney Spears even doing mundane activities like shopping with a friend.

Thus  Wendy Williams is being trashed by her rivals for being a gossip shock jock and now she is embroiled in her own personal dilemmas. 

 So her rivals on Hot 97 are jumping up and down at her troubles and  Wendy is catching the Heat!  

 Wendy is catching the heat like no one else…except Janet Jackson did after her “wardrobe malfunction” during that football game a couple of years ago. Perfect lovable Janet Jackson made a big mistake and it took several years to live it down. 

 The public is not very forgiving of its’  “American Idols”–so it seems.  Thus the troubles of Wendy Williams—high powered black woman in a high stakes position in the radio and television media/journalism industry….So again I ask…

.Why would her also “black” husband not realize the opportunity they both have to pave the road for young minorities of all races….are the issues in the marriage that severe or that trivial?

  It is like being at the top of a mountain….Let’s say Mount Everest….a very tall mountain upon which you can see the future….and yet you worry about a splinter in your finger!

  To remedy that splinter is easy….but that distance you wish to travel will be a long, long road filled with bumps, valleys, dark places, and bogs….so move forward and not look back.

  It is sad to see our hopefuls that give our youth vision….for the Old Testament states….”Without a Vision the People Perish!” 

  So that is why I  focused on these two women and the men they are married to.  Do they not realize that their lives have impacted on so many generations  to come?  Probably not.

The problem I have with domestic violence is that it appears that the man (any man)  who either rapes a woman,  or beats a woman….uses those extreme methods to have POWER over a situation inwhich the man feels powerless. This is a difficult issue to say the least.

What do you think?



Jay Jewels Cry FOR HUMANITYDry like the parchment of the

scroll of a writ

of so long ago

Thousands of years

hid away

Moments in the hands of

an anthropologist

crackling under his

sweaty palms


the dry old parchment

will melt away

if not put in sealed

archival containers

dry like the old linen dress

of yesteryear

like a ball of cottom in my mouth

the medical diagnosis

has come and gone

and now my sensations are


except for the diagnosis

pain that is ripping its’

way deep into my heart.

Trying to explain to my

child that he has to

take medication to save his


Cotton mouth,

loss of taste for the

things you love.

Loss of sensation in my

feet and hands

Sitting I type not

feeling, not

wanting to feel the pain

deep searing a tunnel through

my stomach

I feel full,

gas overcomes my belly

cotton mouth

prevents me from


like the fullness of

emptiness I hold

deep in my belly to

unfold until I scream from

pain and agony

Take the truth,

dealt the truth

no compassion

was the final blow


lost in a new


fear of the unknown and

the diagonosis compells

the rickety fence of hell to

open and reveal the ominous

cavern that threatens to swallow

us whole

We must proceed my child

we must go in

Cotton mouth,

sweaty palms,

sweaty feet,

sudden compulsion to

release bodily fluids,

fight or flight sydrome

in full affect

compel me oh Lord

toward the light

Let taste return

Cotton Mouth–

I cannot swallow

for the diagnosis

itself is not paletable

The diagnosis was

given with such cold

precision like the blade

of the surgeons knife

Hold my hand my child

walk together we will

toward the tower of hell

but together we will

climb to heaven

despite the steely grasp of the  Cotton mouth!

What does Wendy Williams, Eliot Spitzer, Detroit’s Mayor Have in Common?

Life Starts Here—Painted by RiveroflifelisajoyWell, I guess you can figure that answer out….can’t you?  But the bigger question is —-What will all of those listed names above in the title of this little writ…..do about the future that they will live….and their families will live?  No one is without sin…..”ALL OF HUMANKIND HAS SINNED AND FALLEN SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD……HE WITHOUT SIN  —CAST THE FIRST STONE”— We all know those scriptures and statements made by Jesus Christ and his deciples right?  So what am I trying to say here?  

Look,  if you take up public office, service to the community  try and decide what you want before you make that final choice.  You hurt more than yourself when you create  scandalous issues that hit the law offices and the media.  No one is perfect….but it is so difficult when the above listed persons admit, or have committed bad behavior and my child and their children are not tarnished by these things. 

We can not isolate ourselves….we have to interact…be social….or professional on our jobs…..but fraternizing,  sexual harrassement,  using  public monies for private sexual escapades  should not be!   How much supervision did Governor Spitzer need?  He is a grown man,  a leader in the country, and a guide toward elevating our state toward greatness, and better ecomonic policies and lifestyles for people like me…..low,  low middle class or struggle and write out my stress in this blog.   But when I find out that he can affort to pay $2000. 00 per hour for sex….and I can barely pay the $1600.00 per rent and have to go to the Food Pantry after I pay rent…..I feel a great deal of anger at Governor Eliot Spitzer.  I work and can not get a raise for more than 3% per every three years at my job…..but Governor Eliot Spitzer thought that a prostitute deserved to be paid $2000.00 for two hours worth of   ((((((((    WORK????    ))))))).  oH,  wowowowowowo!   A prostitute who uses her body deserves $2000.00 per  hour to use her body….but I a single parent can not even get a decent raise,  can not afford to pay rent, buy food,  sneakers,  clothes,  music lessons for my kid,  attend college to better myself,  and prepare college education for my kid…..but Eliot Spitzer had the right to decide that a prostitute should make more in two hours than I make in one week?!!!!! 


Again,  even Wendy Williams of 107.5 WBLS has been high lighted for alledged abuse of  Nicole Spence —look….Wendy Williams is not a famous politician…..but she I am quite sure is getting paid a pretty penny because she HAS THE GIFT OF GAB!   She can talk up a storm,  make jokes,  skits,  and all like that.  She sponsors college students, and visits other states, writes books,  advertises for various doctors (due to her love of  plastic surgery) and goes on trips for WBLS etc., etc., etc.,!~   Doesn’t that mean that she is held to some type of standard to respect the intelligence of her listening audience, and the intelliegence of her employers as well? 

I am always in shock and how much people who can talk so much, get paid so much and give little or nothing to the people who helped to get them to where they are.  They actually think that they are either better than their audience sometimes.  I do not think that of Wendy…..but I am a bit upset at the mess that the media and her circumstances is causing.  Especially with the minds of the  young people who wish to follow in the foot steps of Wendy as a Radio Personality! 

The Detroit Mayor is a strange case!  It seems that his personal love affair is possibly going to land him in jail?  This society is out for blood.  YOu cannot create a mess that you cannot clean up.  Blogging and writing, and any form of communication in today’s society is being watched and monitored at an all time high.  So why would a sitting Governor be so loose with his behavior.  Doesn’t  it seem that when a person reaches a certain level in life that someone would sit that person down and talk to them and say look….” You are a sitting Governor,  or YOu are a sitting Radio Talk Show Host,  or Look you are  a sitting Mayor of a major City in the most Powerful Country in the World!  You must remember to conduct yourself as though you were on television,  camera,  microphone at all times…..your conduct,  your attitiude,  your demeanor and your personal and private actions are being watched closely and from a far…..You are a leader…..conduct yourself as a leader…..remember future generations depend on you.  You have the power to shape destiny….for your children, your children’s children, and the world……Think before you act……

That should be the birds and the bees of public, and private and media leaders! 

So What I wish for the previous people discussed today here are…..that they come to realize that NO MAN IS AN ISLAND—–

I hope and pray for the best for all of the people I mentioned here today.  I cannot judge them.  I am not a lawyer, and I definitely am not G-d above.  But  I admonish my readers….pray for yourselves,  your governmental leaders, for the actors, and actresses,  media personalities,  and business leaders and the governments of our world…..our future depends on your tolerance of one another, and our support of one another. 

Have a good day!