Riveroflifelisajoy’s Weblog
Just another WordPress.com weblogArchive for August, 2008
A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING….7TH INSTALLMENT….CONCERN ABOUT THE FUTURE OF EVERYTHING…
At this time…it is about 4am, or 5 am. I was awakened by this stabbing pain in my back. As usual I am blog stat obsessed. So I came down stairs to take my meds..for this “shingles” and I came to the computer to start checking my blog stats.
Low, for the entire summer, except when I wrote about Bernie Mack passing away. I got 519 that day. I would have perferred a different number. But I did love Bernie Mack a lot.
However, I do not believe that I paid the homage to him that he deserved. Anyway, I digress.
I have this stabbing pain from shingles… It feels as sharp as it did 5 days ago…before I knew it was shingles…Ugh…Oh, Lord…what do I do?
I have this ridiculous rash on my stomach and pain. It comes and goes. I do not take pain killers.
I am not one for pain killers. Pain killers can destroy the stomach lining, or cause high blood pressure or worse.
So I avoid pain killers at this time. I am willing to cope …so I just blog…until I get too pain ridden, or tired or both.
I will stop by the emergency room, or go back to the doctor….before Tuesday…(back to work day) to decide what is the next step with this annoying back pain…from shingles. UGH….Lord have Mercy!
NEXT TOPIC-
Alaska has more to offer than just “Northern lights”, polar bears, ice, and wild life….According to John McCain…there is a Vice President up there.
I do not know what to think of this. It is quite smart…but long term committment….long term history or knowlege of government on the part of the recent governor of a “Bible Belt” gun toting state….hard to figure…”just fasten your seat belts…it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!!!”
NEXT TOPIC:
REVISITING HURRICANE KATRINA….
I do not understand the so called NO PLAN OF ACTION PLAN…EXCEPT TO EVACUATE EVERYBODY….NO PLAN OF ACTION PLAN OF NOT TO PREPARE A HOLD OVER SITE INCASE THEY CANNOT GET EVERYBODY OUT PLAN????
Do they always get it wrong I wonder? I hope this is not playing out like some kind of C-list movie…where the main characters…the victims suffer again…like last time.
I remember watching the news on my friends cable TV Weather Channel, and CNN and how those people were stranded on the roofs of buildings and screaming for just some water!
Lord…I hope these elected and state officials,, and city officials have their finger on the pulse of this new hurricane Gustav!
NEW TOPIC:
SCHOOL SUPPLIES…..WHO PAYS FOR SCHOOL SUPPLIES FOR MY KID?
Yesterday I was sitting in the park…watching my son play tennis. I was relating my son’s lovely tennis camp experience…and golf experience of the summer to another mother.
She changed the subject to school supplies. She is NOT a single parent like me. So she does not get the point of how hard it is to buy anything after the rent is paid.
She started telling me to go to Jamaica Avenue, Staples, and Office Max to buy school supplies. I told her that I have no money at all.
She started telling me that pencils and things were 20 cents etc. I explained that I was literally sitting there with$5.00 (five dollars in my pocket).
I explained that I pay $1600.00 per month for rent….I am a single parent…(which she knows)
She is not. She and her husband are home owners and have two kids.
I have one child…but I care for my mother and son. I do not receive child support. So you know what happens to me?
I feel like back to school is just like CHRISTMAS TIME IN AUGUST AND SEPTEMBER! Whether a box of crayons or pencils or pens is cheap means nothing.
I am on a limited income…so it is not PART OF MY BUDGET….I do not have a budget….My income is shot!
Once I pay the rent….I have barely enough money to buy food. I have a nearly 6 foot tall size twelve foot….15 yearold eating maching in the house.
My loving oversize child…needs to eat alot of carbs…or he can get literally SICK….(READ MY OTHER BLOGS…)
So….basically We as a family of three…. live PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK.
(READ MY OTHER BLOGS ON INCOME DISPARITY….THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND MY POINT HERE.—ALSO PROBABLY THE REASON FOR THIS STUPID SHINGLES PROBLEM (STRESS RELATED ILLNESS).
—Thus, my annoyance…when this “woman” who is not struggeling on her own like I am…started pressuring me to get up out of the park and run down to Jamacia Avenue….and get these great sales..
I just started spewing my SAD STORY ABOUT MY LACK OF MONEY….but I did inform her that I would go get my son’s school supplies when I get paid this week.
How could she be so unaware that other people do not have the same set of financial circumstances that she has?
My family tree does not have any uncles, aunts, cousins, husband (due to catastrophic disease ), inlaws( due to total disfunction of my estranged husband’s family)—-Myself, my mother and my son do not possess any family that step in and give any financial assistance what so ever!
When my son graduated eigth grade going into highschool …I was the only person from our family at his graduation! My mother could not attend because the church building has not been made wheel chair friendly.
So…if I do not have the cash on hand…or even a credit card(due to financial ruin from my banckruptcy from my estranged husband)—–WHO PAYS FOR SCHOOL SUPPLIES FOR MY SON??????????????????
——-NOT THE PRESIDENT, NOT THE GOVERNOR, NOT THE MAYOR, –=—ONLY MY PAYCHECK…THAT COMES NEXT WEEK.
MY RENT IS PAID ON THE 16TH OF THE MONTH
…SO do the math….life is hard.
Yeah, I can sit here and blog…but guess what…?
I have dial up aol system…$9.00 per month.
School supplies, new shoes, and clothes cost a whole lot more than that!
So as always…this woman turns her back, runs to her family because she owns a home across the street from the tennis courts where her child and my child play tennis, and she continued on her merry way of getting great bargins for ‘BACK TO SCHOOL’ for her kids.
GOOD FOR HER!!! But she needs to mind her business when it comes to me….ya know?
NEXT TOPIC:
UNDERSTANDING LIMITATIONS…..You must wonder what my financial problems do to my son?
He is not spoiled…that is for sure! He is not a couch potatoe either!
WE DO NOT HAVE CABLE EITHER
….BUT MY SON DOES HAVE A TENNIS RACKET.
My son is learning that his possible route out of the financial troubles of his mother….may teach him to develop a skill that is both employable…and scholarship worthy!
My son is hearing how tennis coaches make money….”sometimes too much money”
====he is learning the game of golf….too!((((NYC HAS A FREE PROGRAM OF GOLF FOR KIDS IN DYKER STREET….EXIT #4 OFF THE BELT PARKWAY))))
So, money problems…may teach my kid…how to survive with learned skills, and a good education.
So is it all bad?
Sometimes the best life lessons are hard lessons.
I wish it did not have to be the case…for my child.
But I pray for his strength…and my strength too.
till next blog…
river!
ps….the shingles pain is less and I think I can go back to bed now.
What do I do now?—BLOG ON SHINGLES!!!!
I WAS HAVING THIS PAIN. I HAD THIS THING WHILE I WAS AT THE US OPEN KIDS DAY THIS PAST SATURDAY AND IT GOT SO BAD THAT I THOUGHT IT WAS A KIDNEY STONE. I KEPT DRINKING WATER AND LAYING DOWN ON SUNDAY. mY
THIS WAS A VERY, VERY DEEP PAIN IN MY BACK. I HAVE BEEN HAVING THIS THING SINCE APRIL OF THIS YEAR. I WENT TO A DOCTOR.–HIP URGENT CARE. THEY SAID IT WAS NOTHING.
I TOLD MY DOCTOR…SHE SAID IT WAS NOTHING. BOTTOM LINE…..IT TURNED OUT TO BE SHINGLES. HOW DO I KNOW THAT YOU ASK?
WELL, THIS PAIN OPENED OUT ONTO MY STOMACH AS A 3 INCH WIDE AND 7 INCH LONG RASH ON MY ABDOMON. SCARY….THE DOCTOR TOOK ONE LOOK AT IT AND SAID FLATLY SHINGLES.
I WAS GIVEN A PERSCRIPTION FOR SHINGLES TO PREVENT INFECTION. PROBLEM….MY SKIN IS SUPPPPPPEEEERRRR SENSITIVE….AND I HAVE SHOOTING PAINS….ALL THIS WHILE I AM ON VACATION.
OH LORD….WHAT TO DO! WILL I BE ABLE TO FUNCTION? THIS PAIN MAKES IT DIFFICULT TO WORK AROUND IN THE HOUSE. I AM GOING TO STOP THIS LITTLE WRITING PIECE IN THE NEXT FEW MINUTES SO I CAN GO LAY DOWN. I FEEL VERY TIRED…. exhausted and scared….
I LOOKED UP SHINGLES ON SHINGLESINFO.COM AND FOUND BASIC INFORMATION. BUT THE CONCERN IS SKIN INFECTION.
WOW! ALL THIS BECAUSE I HAD CHICKENPOX WHEN I WAS 35 YEARS OLD. NOW I HAVE A NERVE CONDITION CALLED SHINGLES THAT HAS NO KNOWN CURE OR CONTROL.
LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY KNOWLEGE OF THIS….SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS OR IDEAS….
THANKS!
RIVER!!~~~
QUALIES!!!! QUALIES!!!! US OPEN! QUEENS NEWYORK….15 YEAR OLD AFRICAN AMERICAN YOUNG LADY ON 8/19/08! GREAT! –A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING 6TH INSTALLMENT!
I heard that Angela had been to a tennis camp/highschool in Florida. She played with the intensity of a pro!
The young lady and her opponent played a very strong 6 matches or so. It was great to watch….except for the grunts and squeals and “COME ON(S)!!!!!” the youngs ladies would yell during extremely intense moments of their game together!
My son who is working on his skills was so excited from watching the game played the ‘right’ way…could not wait to go get a hold of his tennis racket.
My son has a JAPANESE MADE YONEX! (15 year old Angela played her game with a BABALOT TENNIS RACKET!)
My son…. Jay wants a lighter racket now. He says the Yonex is heavier than most!
My son was inspired to see a young African American the same age as himself playing in the QUALIES….Now my kid has stronger aspirations. Where will his goals take him? To College….to the Pros—who knows.?!!!!
Take out the time and run over to see the US OPEN! TENNIS IS A PROGRAM THAT THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN GET INVOLVED IN AND IT IS A BEAUTIFUL AREA IN WHICH TO HELP BUILD TEENAGE SELFESTEEM!
IF YOU ARE A PARENT…IT IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING…TO SEE YOUR CHILD HAPPY IN AN ACTIVITY THAT BUILDS HIS/OR HER MOTIVATION AND GOALS.
I MUST HONESTLY TELL YOU THAT MY FAITH IN THE ONE ABOVE HAS INCREASED WHEN I SEE THE WORLD THROUGH THE EYES OF THE CHILD I BROUGHT INTO THIS WORLD. I SEE THAT AS THE SAY….PLANT THE SEEDS, WATER THEM AND WATCH THEM GROW!
GO OUT TODAY AND GATHER YOUR FAMILY AROUND YOU AND SEE THE MIRACLES TAKE PLACE!—-
AND DON’T FORGET……..
US OPEN IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING!!!!
Till next
BLOG-
RIVER!!!
IN MY DREAMS
TOUCHING is strange.
I run from being touched
Possibly afraid of
my own reaction
Possibly afraid that
it might feel too good
So his hands were gentle
his voice stroked the
side of my neck as
he bent over and whispered
something in my ear
I fought the feeling
and I was angry at
myself…for fighting it
for being committed
to MORAL VALUES
for being committed
to religious beliefs
I will not falter…
I will not fall.
ALTHOUGH TEMPTED
i will not crawl
beneath the power
of the temptation
I will stand with
head held high
And later…I truly will
let out a deep, full sigh
For yes I was hurt by your blunt
display…I wanted a different,
much different way…
Yet deep within…there
was another spin
My heart said no….no….NO!
Songs of love, wedding bells,
engagment rings, buying a new house
the first baby….then the loss of my
husband….
And now this….ONE man now approaches and
he does not want to start a family,
he does not want to get married,
he does not want that first baby
he does not and will not buy me
and engagement ring.
He simply wants my
body….or what
he perceives is my body
from what he can see through
my clothes.
My feelings are hurt…my soul is burnt
my heart bleeds…for what I lost.
We, my husband and I would
have made love all night
and then the sun would catch
us laying in each others arms and
talking about the day and our lives together…
My husband would arise and shower.
I would lay and slumber longer
I would be rosed by bacon and eggs that
my husband would serve
me in bed
Now….our marriage, our
relationship is DEAD—
DEAD…due to catastrophic disease…
Lost is my lover, my best friend…my husband…
and NOw I ponder..
the value of my life…
under this new world order…
do I allow myself
to be short changed
and live life according to
limitations of feeling used,
and undervalued?
In my dreams…I experience
intimacy…but not hurt feelings
In my dreams… I remember my
true love…my lost love…My husband….now
gone….So
that human touch, that slight embrace, around my
neck, that whisper….
has awoken a spirit of
urgency…but
yet i with draw and
remember you….
IN MY DREAMS.
~~~fini
riveroflifelisajoy
Trusting the One Above
HOLD TIGHT TO THE
MASTER’S HAND
FOR HE HAS THE
GREAT MASTER
PLAN
FOR YOU,
FOR ME
HE KNOWS OUR
DESTINY
SOME DO NOT
BELIEVE IN
PREDESTINATION
WHILE OTHERS
BELIEVE
THAT LIFE IS NO COMPLETE
HAPPINESS
BUT TODAY
I RECOMMEND
HOLD TIGHT TO
THE MASTER’S
HAND—
FOR YOU AND
FOR ME
HE HAS A MASTER
PLAN.
THE DAY BREAK
AND THE SUNSET
ARE TIMED
JUST PERFECTLY
THE HEAVENS
ABOVE STAY
IN ORBIT AND
OUR LIFE AND
DEATH IS ORDAINED
BEFORE WE
KNEW WHO
WE WER
SO HOLD TIGHT
TO THE MASTER’S
HAND
FOR HE HAS
A PERFECT
MASTER PLAN
FOR US
ALL.
~~~~FINI
NEW AGE RELIGION AND OPRAH! HAS OPRAH CHANGED HER WORLD VIEW AND RELIGIOUS VIEW???
It really is quite simple. Oprah has come to the top…sort of like Martin Luther King….She has been to the mountain top…and she has seen things most of us only dream about. So what do we hold on to? We hold on to our faith. We will fight for our faith. Some people die for their faith. What happened to Oprah you ask??? HAS OPRAH BACK SLID???
Oprah has been through a lot of negative experiences in life. Her past sexual abuse experiences have helped to shape her views of the world.
I believe that her heart is in the right place. However, strick Christians would not agree. However, is Oprah obligated to “preach” the gospel that she does not completely agree with? Does Oprah call her self BORN -AGAIN? I do not believe that I have ever heard Oprah refer to herself as being, “SAVED” have you???
So why do we as minority folk, African Americans…believe that Oprah is leading people astray? You have to be a Pastor, or atleast claim yourself to be a Evangelist atleast…inorder to lead people.
Oprah Winfrey is a television talk show host. She just happens to be African American, she just happens to have come from a “Christian Background..” But the last time I checked…most African American Denominations that are Baptist, or other wise…believe that a SINNER must confess his sins to the Lord Jesus in order to be saved. You should not term yourself a Baptist…if you have not confessed your sins and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
Has Oprah ever discussed that on Television? I do not believe I heard a show about her “confession of her sins and receiving the “SHED BLOOD OF JESUS” upon her life and soul for the REDEMPTION OF SINS…HAVE YOU?
So before you can call Oprah a LEADER IN THE CHURCH…you must examin her life as what we are so LOOSELY terming CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE….
What makes a person a spokes person of Christain Ethics….what makes a person a spokes person in the Christian Church….There are many who would argue that Gay people cannot be considered Christian. So let us not banter the term of Christian around so quickly….
I believe that you cannot call Oprah anything until you have examined who she really believes her life to be patterned after.
Since Oprah does not have a congregation of followers…per se’ than let us assume that she is no different than the people that we have conversations with around the “water cooler” or “water bottle” at work.
Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion.
Can you ram your religion down someones throat????
You must LOVE PEOPLE INTO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN….YOU CAN NOT CHASE THEM DOWN THE STREET AND SCREAM AT THEM.
Look at the Old Testament….the Prophets were always the first to get killed? Why? Because they told people things that they did not LIKE OR WANT TO HEAR!!!!
Some prophets were stoned to death.
Lets say Oprah started telling people to stop wearing body tatooes. How well would that go over?
How long would Oprahs talk show last if she told people that they BETTER STOP HAVING SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE…OR SEX OUT OF MARRIAGE, OR CHILDREN WITHOUT BEING MARRIED?
Oprah is trying to make a dollar…which is a freedom that we enjoy in this country!
Do you think she is trying to offend her audience and then loose her ratings and her beautiful homes etc., etc.,
Of course she is not going to say that.—So Oprah Winfrey is a DIPLOMAT….OPrah is a diplomat.
She will not change her views or discuss her personal relationship with God on major television networks…therefore she will only say things that will not offend …but bring people together. Especially people who would not believe in God or even try to change their life style at all.
So in essence…CAN YOU CATCH MORE FLIES WITH HONEY…THAN WITH VINEGAR????
Of course you can!
So, am I stating that Oprah is trying to EVEN CATCH ANYBODY AT ALL?
no, i DO NOT BELIEVE SHE IS ATTEMPTING TO CHANGE THE WORLD THROUGH RELIGIOUS THOUGHTS…but she is trying to bridge the gap between good and evil deeds, and helping the global commmunity.
I think she has a right to her PRIVATE THOUGHTS on this issue. Does she have to confess her SALVATION in front of an entire nation?
Has every Christian reading this blog…OPENLY CONFESSED YOUR SALVATION TO YOUR PLACE OF BUSINESS OR WORK LATELY? HOW MUCH DISCUSSION ARE YOU ALLOWED TO ENGAGE IN BEFORE SOMEONE FILES A COMPLAINT TO EEO ABOUT INAPPROPRIATE RELIGIOUS TALK AT THE WORK PLACE?
I believe that we can look up to Oprah as a role model for young African American girls and boys to follow down the road to success through hard work. However, I would not try to fit Oprah into the role of the CHURCH EVANGELIST at this time.
What do you think????