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SLAVERY IN AMERICA: RECENT APOLOGIES AND THE DEBATE ON REPARATIONS

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I am  a child of slaves.  I am a child of first generation black Americans to have their own New York City Home.  I am a child of a African American family to be the first  to go to college.  I am a mother of a black child who is first generation to play tennis as his major sport of skill. 

 I am African American wife of  a skizophrenic, (who has been missing for ten years).  I am an African American wife of a African American male skizphonprenic- who has not provided child support for ten years due to his missing status and the RULES that govern the Social Security Administration.

  I am an African American who can not get HEAP HELP (GOVERNMENTAL FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE FOR UTILITY BILLS i.e. Gas and Electric) because the government states that SINGLE PARENT STATUS…EARNING $43,000.00 PER YEAR, PAYING $1600.00 for 3 bedroom apartment in New York City,  paying full utilties of building,  $158.00 per month car insurance,  extremely high milk, juice, fruit, meat,  vegetables,  personal care products,  clothing,  medical needs insurances,  life insurances on my self valued at over $100,00.00 disability insurances on myself (especially since my missing sick husband left me responsible for my child),  catastrophic disease insurances on my self.

Having detailed my financial condition as a 48 yearold African American Daughter of slave ancestors….It would appear that I have the same if not similar problems as my white counter part Americans in some cases. 

 However,  what makes me believe that I do deserve a form if not actual SLAVE REPARATION–is that I would have completed COLLEGE many years ago—if it had not been for BEOG/ PELL AND TAP GRANTS BEING DENIED!  

Those grants were denied me when I was 21 years old!  I had just been accepted into CBS Television Internship Program through Queens College in the Journalism department.  I was registering for my course that was applied to the internship and was told by the college that PELL GRANTS,  BEOG AND TAP Aide had been denied to me because I had used up all of my POINTS! 

 I did not financial aide available!!!  I had ignorantly retaken courses that I had failed  and then passed.  However,  my re-registering for those courses had caused me to use up my points. 

 My Academic Counselor named  Barbara Blank  did not guide me properly,  —I am truly not clear on how this terrible mistake occured.

  Whatever caused this terrible error…caused me to have to leave college after I had already completed 61 credits!!!! 

 The financial aide counselor had discussed the problem with my mother….my African American mother….another daughter of ancestral slaves….My mother whose parents had not been educated higher than elementary school in Virgina (Drakes Branch,  and Farmville Virgina to be exact). 

 My mother had an option explained to her by the financial aide counselor….”Refinance your house so that your daughter could finish college.”

  My mother, descendant of slaves flatly stated,” NO! I am not wasting my mortgage on that!”

  My sister, who did not complete college and who was 6 years older than me– had been whispering into my mother’s ears heavily.

  She did not want me to complete college…because she was jealous and she told my mother  that I becoming a CAREER COLLEGE STUDENT….LEARNING BUT NEVER GRADUATING.

  I was only 21 years  old at that time.  Also CBS television internship supervisor in charge of my internship had promised me a great future!  I had to compete against other people—HUNDREDS! .. inorder to get accepted into that internship!

  I had made an impression on the CBS Internship program…but now!  My financial aide points had run out from Pell Grant,  BEOG,  and TAP were no longer funding my education.

  I could not work to make enough money to pay for those classes,–tuition was a mere $900.00 back then….but it was still to high for a full time college student. 

The final outcome is this….I left college, unable to pay for it. 

 My mother,  daughter of Slave ancestry could not see the benefit of helping me to complete my education because her thinking back then was limited  and poisoned by my sister’s jealousy. 

 Thus  I left college, severly let down….my mother,  daughter of slaves told me to just get a job….My mother could not understand the circumstances that would notw shape my life and her’s forever!

I went to a business school,  I went to Taylor Business Institute!  I learned secretarial skills. ((question–why was I able to get a loan for a trade school and not a college???))

 I was hired by a temp agency and began the long road back to college.  I began paying for my classes one at a time….I was eventually hired full time by J. Michael Bloom Talent Agency. 

 My big mistake was that I got married.  The marriage did not prevent me from being educated…but I began to rearrange my goals around the marriage.  My husband and I did accomplish some goals like buying a house,  and having  a child. 

 My African American husband wanted me to complete college…but coming full circle my husband suffered catastrophic severe skizphrenia and left me with bankruptcy,loss of a home to foreclosure,  and a child to raise.

  I am currently working on a job for the past 19 years that has abosultely NOTHING to do with my original college related goals.  The job  helps pay for food, and rent–barely–. 

 I struggle due to the previous explained debts that I worry about daily. 

 HIND sight is not twenty-twenty for me. 

 I knew that my level of success would not be fulfilled if I could not complete that INTERNSHIP AT CBS AND REGISTER FOR MY CLASSES WHEN I WAS 21 YEARS OLD. 

 However,  not having an educated family,  that would understand the value of an education,  and the financial scarifices required to accomplish that goal…thus here I sit today….BLOGGING…out my frustration. 

My actual, blogging is healthy for me…but it cannot replace the years of economic success I have not ever experienced,  education,  and opportunities that I have missed out on.

  Blogging cannot give me financial power to help cover the debts that HEAP will not help me to pay …because I am just $50 or more dollars over their limit of assistance for a single parent with only 1 (one) child.

  I have been told that I have to have more children to be eligible to receive government assistance. 

The  goal in this article is to explain why SLAVE REPARATIONS would have helped a person like myself. 

 I have been working ever since I had to leave college. 

 Understand that I only left college because I had no money to pay for tuition.  They would not allow me to take a loan….my mother would not refinance her home (which she actually did refinance some years later…so she could make a basment apartment for rental purposes)—I have always pushed to further my education,  I recently partly completed a program NYACK Adult Continuing education–called ORGANIZATIONAL MANAGMENT…I have to pay off about $600.00 and complete three essays to receive my Bachaelor of Science in Organizational Managament. 

 I should have done this two years ago.  So what is the hold up you ask?  I have my child who has been suffering with seizure disorder increasingly over the past two years,  and I also am caring for my mother who has become an invalid and stroke victim over the past 4 years. 

So here I sit.   I am gearing up to complete my 3 essays in the next few weeks and receive my full credit and I can graduate in November of this year. 

I have traveled a long road.  I know there are many others who have traveled a long road as well.

  Do I believe that educational reparations would have helped me….OF COURSE IT WOULD HAVE HELPED ME! 

 My educational goals would not have been tied to my mother’s personal finances..and I would have been able to complete the internship at CBS in Journalism. 

What type of EDUCATIONAL REPARATIONS would I have used you might ask?  Here is my concept of the best form of education reparations for children of ancestral African American Slaves:

  • SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE AND RECEIVE GED/HIGHSCHOOL DIPLOMA
  • MAINTAIN PASSING GRADES IN COLLEGE
  • TAKE REMEDIAL COURSES TO IMPROVE ACADEMICS AND SUCCESSFULLY PASS ALL REMEDIAL COURSES
  • NO—-TERM LIMITS ON EDUCATION
  • STUDENTS MUST ENROLL IN COLLEGE CONSEQUTIVELY—UNLESS EMERGENCY IN FAMILY,  MEDICAL PROBLEMS, FINANCIAL CIRCUMSTANCES TO BE EVALUATED BY REPARATIONS COMMITTEE ON ACADEMIC REPARATIONS
  • SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE BACHELOR OF any ACCREDITED COLLEGE,  IVY LEAGUE,  CITY,  STATE COLLEGE PROGRAM
  • SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE ANY INTERNSHIP PROGRAM
  • SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE ANY TRADE PROGRAM:  ELECTRICAL, PLUMBING, TRUCKING, NURSING, CAR REPAIR AND DESIGN, ETC.,
  • SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE PROGRAMS AND HAVE ACADEMIC GOALS,  AND JOB BOOKLET ON PERSONAL/INDIVIDUAL ASSESEMENT, and RESUME– COMPLETED AT THE END OF EACH SEMESTER.
  • MAINTAIN ATLEAST A — C– AVERAGE…WITH  EXPLANATION OF GRADES AND RESTRAINTS  AND DETAILING PROBLEMS RELATED TO COMPLETION OF ACADEMIC GOALS TO BE EVALUATED DIRECTLY BY ACADEMIC REPARATIONS COMMITTEE.
  • FULL TUITION PAYMENT FOR ALL AFRCIAN AMERICAN SLAVE DECENDANTS
  • FULL TUTITION FOR BACHELOR,  MASTERS PROGRAMS.
  • FULL TUTITION PAID FOR DOCTORATE AFTER PROVIDING 4OOO HOURS OF MENTORING,  PROJECT GIVE BACK, AND EACH ONE TEACH ONE PROGRAMS FOR SUMMER YOUTH AND YOUNG MOTHER PROGRAMS.
  • FULL TUTITION PAYMENTS FOR 2ND BACHELOR DEGREE FOR 7000 HOURS OF MENTORING, PROJECT GIVE BACK, AND EACH ONE TEACH ONE PROGRAMS TO BE DEVELOPED BY THE AFRICAN AMERICAN REPARATIONS PROGRAM.  
  • ALL CANDIDATES MUST SUBMITT DOCUMENTED PROOF OF 3000 HOUR AND 7000 HOUR GIVE BACK AND MENTORING PROGRAMS INORDER TO BE ELIGIBLE  FOR DOCTORATE PROGRAMS AND 2ND DEGREE PROGRAMS.
  • ALL GRADUATES ARE REQUIRED TO GIVE 100 HOURS YEARLY TO TALKS AT ELEMENTARY EDUCATION,  JUNIOR HIGHSCHOOL EDUCATION, HIGHSCHOOL EDUCATION,  AND  COLLEGE PROGRAMS FOR MENTORING AND PASSING ON THE LEGACY OF THE BENEFITS OF EDCUATION AND TAKING THE RESPONSIBILITY OF REPARATIONS AND BECOMING SUCCESSFUL IN ATTAINING ACADEMIC GOALS THAT ARE A STANDARD OF EXCELLENCE IN THE AFRiCAN AMERICAN SLAVE DESCENDANTS.

This is my concept of proper reparations.  I would abide by these rules so that I could have the opportunities to pass on the goals and future that keep America growing and great. 

We as a American Citizens do not need a hand out!  We need a hand UP! Help me to educate myself so that I can help continue the legacy of Pride in the United States as a Super Power in the World.  Help me to educate myself  so that I can give back to the generations to come.

As it stands right now…I can only give this blogg!!!!

  I could do so much more if my education was free…but with RESPONSIBILTY AND DEFINITELY STRINGS ATTACHED.  The type of strings attached will cause success in the future decendants of slaves…but those decendants would eventually be called desendants of SUCCESSFULL AFRICAN AMERICANS WHO HAVE MENTORED, AND GAVE BACK, THEREBY ASSISTING THE UNITED STATES TO MAINTAIN ITS ECONOMIC STRENGTH,  EDUCATIONAL POWER,  LITERACY,  AND GROWTH IN THE WORLD. 

WITH EDUCATION….COMES AN EMPOWERED WORKFORCE THAT CAN STRENGTHEN THE ECONOMY…..CRIME BASED ON ECNOMICS WILL GO DOWN IN MINORITY COMMUNITIES,  BLACK MALES WILL BE INSPIRED TO GATHER RESOURCES AND BECOME MORE SUCCESSFUL AND STRONG.  YOUNG WOMEN WILL GATHER RESOURCES AND BECOME MORE SUCCESSFUL AND STRONG.

The program of reparations needs to be looked at. 

 It may take many years for it to come about. 

 MOst likely not in my life time,  or even my child’s  life time. 

 But the concept does need to be addressed. 

 Maybe my concepts are not all acceptable… there may be better methods of ACADEMIC REPARATIONS.

IN CONCLUSION:

DO NOT GIVE ME THE FORTY ACRES AND AN MULE….

I WANT A FREE….RESPONSIBILITY ACADEMIC BASED REPARATION FOR DESCENDANTS OF AFRICAN SLAVES. 

(((JOBS WILL COME WITH AN EDUCATED WORK FORCE!!!))) 

 NOTE…MANY EUROPEAN COUNTRIES MAKE EDCUATION FREE  FOR ALL!!!!

REPARATIONS ON AN ACADEMIC LEVEL WILL IMPROVE  THE QUALITY OF LIFE AND ECONOMIC STANDING OF THE UNITED STATES AS A SUPER POWER  AND ALSOIN THE GLOBAL ECONOMY AS WELL.

“`RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY

Where Have I been?

Journey Behind the Falls at Niagara ...

 

I have been on a journey…

My friend

I have not been lost

intentionally

but a journey of length

and depth  has

challenged my

very heart and soul

I have gathered need

and gathered sorrow

My journey leads me

down dark alleys

bright rooms,

painful thoughts

and haunting fears

Tears are worthless

here on my journey

But the tears still come

and roll down my cheeks

like snowballs gathering

size and speed

My nose and face feel clogged

from the emotions spent

on this journey

Come free me my friend

from this torment

But I do not cry for myself

I cry for another

My son, my dear son

What will be?

Sickness again claimed

him on June 24 after

his American History

Regents exam…of which he

did receive an 88!

The victory of his passing

is overshadowed by the

illness that gripped him in

its stealy hands

I wish for him joy,

health, and happines…

I pray for him health, health, and more health

So that has been my journey my friend

Seeking health and strength for

the child of my womb

The child I had prayed for 15 years ago

is in a battle for his life….

So my journey is not a lonely one

but a hard. brittle, prickly one

Where have I been?  Right here,

at home, at work, but journey is a battle of

the mind and strength of the

spirit.

JOurney is to walk a walk of faith,

and endurance…

So I have not called you,  written you,

but I know you are still there.

I will not go,

while I continue this journey,  whose

destination I yet do not know.

-fini-

Riveroflifelisajoy

credit of waterfalls image…from aol journey images

COTTON MOUTH

Jay Jewels Cry FOR HUMANITYDry like the parchment of the

scroll of a writ

of so long ago

Thousands of years

hid away

Moments in the hands of

an anthropologist

crackling under his

sweaty palms

grasp

the dry old parchment

will melt away

if not put in sealed

archival containers

dry like the old linen dress

of yesteryear

like a ball of cottom in my mouth

the medical diagnosis

has come and gone

and now my sensations are

minimized

except for the diagnosis

pain that is ripping its’

way deep into my heart.

Trying to explain to my

child that he has to

take medication to save his

life.

Cotton mouth,

loss of taste for the

things you love.

Loss of sensation in my

feet and hands

Sitting I type not

feeling, not

wanting to feel the pain

deep searing a tunnel through

my stomach

I feel full,

gas overcomes my belly

cotton mouth

prevents me from

eating

like the fullness of

emptiness I hold

deep in my belly to

unfold until I scream from

pain and agony

Take the truth,

dealt the truth

no compassion

was the final blow

given

lost in a new

hell

fear of the unknown and

the diagonosis compells

the rickety fence of hell to

open and reveal the ominous

cavern that threatens to swallow

us whole

We must proceed my child

we must go in

Cotton mouth,

sweaty palms,

sweaty feet,

sudden compulsion to

release bodily fluids,

fight or flight sydrome

in full affect

compel me oh Lord

toward the light

Let taste return

Cotton Mouth–

I cannot swallow

for the diagnosis

itself is not paletable

The diagnosis was

given with such cold

precision like the blade

of the surgeons knife

Hold my hand my child

walk together we will

toward the tower of hell

but together we will

climb to heaven

despite the steely grasp of the  Cotton mouth!

Cross Over

Old Fabric by RiveroflifelisajoyCross Over and move out the way

Sometimes the river does not

sway,  the tide is high  and

my spirit is low

I do not want to look back

or let go

What do I say  to my child

to day

His love of life has

been challenged,

like a dry twig broken

and chips of it splinter

and fall away

His health is  limited

yet a picture of health

is he

So why this sad problem

that plagues me today

The doctor looks cool, and

medical team too serene

Your child has to take

xxxmiligrams and

that is all…

Have a nice day

Go forth, leave the

hospital and jump back

into the stream. river of life

and move on

after this limited 5 day

hospital stay

But wait,  I have more questions,

What about the side affects….

“OH, he just might be a bit sleepy…that is all

any way…have a good day!

No, NO!  I need to say this,  I have to ask

that….do not dismiss me so easily

For I must fight for my child

I must question, and stay longer if

I must

For though you are the doctor…I cannot

entirely trust

for each patient has

different needs, and questions…so let us reason,

let us rationalize before we say our goodbyes!

So again I say dear Doctor

today—crossover from your generalized sermon, and

medical doctrine

Crossover to a parent who is human, and alive..

Because the condition of which you speak

is not simple to me

not simple to my child

just simple medical diagnosis to you

So please….cross over from the cold

cruel world  of illness

disease

and  speak

Woman to Woman,  possibly Mother to Mother

please.

Fini

Riveroflifelisajoy

Wonderful!

nature-meets-construction-by-riveroflifelisajoy-number-two-scan.jpgWonderful I said. 

Yes,  Just Wonderful!

The weather is bright,

The moon is just right……

Wonderful!

But yet—I cry.

Why me I said,

the child of mine lays

flat on the bed.

The sun is shining brightly outside

his bedroom window.

We were just getting ready to go home

And he became ill.

Wonderful, I had said,

Marvelous, Great Fantastic

I thought and then

he was prone

attacked by a seizure.

“I Need Help!  I Need Help!  I NEED HELP!  I NEED HELP!

Was all I could say

I wanted to wail,

and scream and

drive that evil away!

I can’t watch, I can’t see

the Evil wretch which

threatened and attacked

my fifteen yearold baby!

So what?…that  he is fifteen….does it matter?

If your husband, or wife take ill….does it

matter that he or she is 50 years old?  or 35  years old?

Sickness, disease….NEVER come at the right time!

Death does not live in a life of reason

or ryhme….So please do not

ask me, or chide me and say….HOW OLD IS YOUR SON?

For when he lay prone against the hospital bed, and nothing left

to be said—-Look at him with love, look at him

with compassion…..for your family, your friends could be

sick tomorrow or the

day after…..just pray for me today

Don’t say, Well, he IS 15!

Well, a lady whose  husband passed away at the age of 45 from a massive

heart attack was older….and the loss is deep, and troubling nonetheless…..–Remember Jack Ritter who died from a Massive Heart tear?— from

Three’s Company Fame?—Everyone Cared…and Cried

all the same!

Just   offer a hand or a hug of compassion,

and  a  gentle breeze of concern….

Do not dismiss my challenge with

How Old is he?  Even if he were age 18—-he still would need MY help!

Yes, he is still my child….

So yes,  Wonderful!


It truly is Wonderful…when people can be responsive in a most

pleaseant way.

Why don’t you try that approach

today?

P.S.  

THANKYOU SYNDER CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL @ LongIsland Jewish for helping my son—No matter what his Age!

FINI!

—-Riveroflifelisajoy