Riveroflifelisajoy’s Weblog
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IN MY DREAMS
TOUCHING is strange.
I run from being touched
Possibly afraid of
my own reaction
Possibly afraid that
it might feel too good
So his hands were gentle
his voice stroked the
side of my neck as
he bent over and whispered
something in my ear
I fought the feeling
and I was angry at
myself…for fighting it
for being committed
to MORAL VALUES
for being committed
to religious beliefs
I will not falter…
I will not fall.
ALTHOUGH TEMPTED
i will not crawl
beneath the power
of the temptation
I will stand with
head held high
And later…I truly will
let out a deep, full sigh
For yes I was hurt by your blunt
display…I wanted a different,
much different way…
Yet deep within…there
was another spin
My heart said no….no….NO!
Songs of love, wedding bells,
engagment rings, buying a new house
the first baby….then the loss of my
husband….
And now this….ONE man now approaches and
he does not want to start a family,
he does not want to get married,
he does not want that first baby
he does not and will not buy me
and engagement ring.
He simply wants my
body….or what
he perceives is my body
from what he can see through
my clothes.
My feelings are hurt…my soul is burnt
my heart bleeds…for what I lost.
We, my husband and I would
have made love all night
and then the sun would catch
us laying in each others arms and
talking about the day and our lives together…
My husband would arise and shower.
I would lay and slumber longer
I would be rosed by bacon and eggs that
my husband would serve
me in bed
Now….our marriage, our
relationship is DEAD—
DEAD…due to catastrophic disease…
Lost is my lover, my best friend…my husband…
and NOw I ponder..
the value of my life…
under this new world order…
do I allow myself
to be short changed
and live life according to
limitations of feeling used,
and undervalued?
In my dreams…I experience
intimacy…but not hurt feelings
In my dreams… I remember my
true love…my lost love…My husband….now
gone….So
that human touch, that slight embrace, around my
neck, that whisper….
has awoken a spirit of
urgency…but
yet i with draw and
remember you….
IN MY DREAMS.
~~~fini
riveroflifelisajoy