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Archive for Decline of American Marriages Period!

MINISTER JUANITA BYNUM AND SHOCK JOCK WENDY WILLIAMS OF WBLS 107.5–WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO WHEN IT COMES TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Before I proceed allow me to explain.  It is important to understand this one major point.  NO WOMAN SHOULD BE ABUSED FOR ANY REASON AT ALL!  NO HUMANBEING SHOULD BE ABUSED FOR ANY REASON AT ALL!

   Now,  I will proceed.  I looked at the blogs and news paper articles on Minister Juanita Bynum and her marriage abuse/domestic violence episode that is ripping her marriage and ministry. 

Then I looked at Wendy Williams of the Wendy Williams Experience, and her EEO case with Nicole Spence involving her husband Kevin Hunter and –the domestic violence episodes that are threatening her very lucrative career. 

 I began to wonder.  Wendy has a following of faithful listeners, and Juanita Bynum has a following of faithful listeners TOO! 

Strange huh?!  Except Wendy does not preach the Gospel. 

 Wendy has a daily four hour show that goes from  2:00 P.M. until 7:00 P.M. .  Juanita Bynum has a church,  has CDs,  DVD’s for sale,  she tours the country and many, many other options for reaching her flock of faithful followers! 

 The obvious similarity is that they are both HIGH POWERED TYPE- A- PERSONALITY BLACK WOMEN! 

Who can rival them?—–THEIR HUSBANDS! 

 Both Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum are both powerful black women that stand tall and stong in their own work and careers.

 Yet they are challenged by the problems of domestic violence in their home ((((which is being displayed publicly))) despite their efforts to keep private pain private. 

 Why are their husband’s possibly challenging these two strong women in their careers? 

Why would  the  husbands  of these two very opposite…yet equally powerful and influential women–  allow their private marital behavior jeopardize their very successful wives in the year 2007 and 2008? 

  Let us think for a  moment….As  African Decent  women,  Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum have come a long way and have taken the lead within the black community in the United States, and possibly even in the world and the “global economy!” **Not to mention Ophra of course***

 Wendy Williams was broadcasting from California today!  She attracts all walks of life,  despite her sporadic rants about “white people” and her blackness.

  She recently complained about how her son’s Montclair New Jersey school district have suggested that the children wear “green” for  St. Patricks Day.  But when she had inquired as to what the children could wear for “Black History Month,” or “Martin Luther King Day”….she was flatly told that there was nothing that the children could wear for such annual events in American Society. 

 So Wendy did not say that she would not have her son wear green….or wait a minute …my mind is not clear if she was against him actually wearing the green but I remember Wendy Williams  stating “I have a plan for that day.”   This is a strong woman. 

 She maintains her “HOW YOU DON’IN”  AND “Hee Haw”  for the “Donkey People (folks who do not know how to avoid being used and abused, and coming back for more…or the people  who “steal” other people’s mates etc., etc.,)  But as she states….”At the end of the day …I am a mother and a wife!” 

That is why this whole circumstance of the domestic violence and the Nicole Spence EEO issue  has floored me. 

That is why I looked at Juanita Bynum,  whose “No More Sheets” sermon stirred so many Christian and Non-Christian Believers to stop taking less in life; stop taking less in their personal relationships; and take back from the devil what he stole from them….their pride,  their self esteem,  their will to live,  their joy…..etc., etc..

Believe it or not….Wendy Williams and Juanita Bynum have alot in common….They just reach people in a different way.  Juanita Bynum preaches and uses scripture and Wendy Williams uses a SideKick  Charlemene. Wendy Williams also uses her various interactive draws called  Dons and Divas Dances, and  even children in events for Easter  (last year  2007). 

 I did not hear anything about a children Dons and Divas Kiddie affair for 2008—I might have missed it.  Sound Effects,  Ghetto Street Talk, Alternative Life style talk and various genres of communication to preach her message of intelligence. 

 Wendy always tries to tell those who feel like misfits in the current society that they will be accepted on her show. 

 Now,  unfortuneately   I have seen, and heard about the Christian Church…not so nice things on the level of accepting the”misfits of society” based on religious reasons….(((despite Jesus reprimand  of men who wanted to stone the harlot woman for her sins….

Jesus said, “He without sin cast the first stone….and No one cast the stone….they all walked away ashamed.”  Jesus truly turned to the harlot woman and told her to “Go and sin no more,  your sins are forgiven!”  Sometimes this verse is very seldom discussed or preached….I wonder why? 

Well,  any way….I will continue this further later on. 

 But just think about it for a minute….The two women I am comparing and contrasting here are both black,  high powered…..and very, very, very famous in the black community for different reasons…yet they both suffer from domestic violence. 

 But my question still remains….Is it the  effects of the power and the fame on the marriage that causes the stress and the strain? 

 Did these two women,  or other women  permit themselves to stay in bad marriages, or abusive relationships in order to maintain that appearance of SUCCESS to the OUTSIDE WORLD AT LARGE?

 To many Christians,   it does not seem proper to have a broken marriage after telling people how “Jesus can set the sinner free from bondage to death, hell and the grave.” 

It looks odd that Jesus is seemingly unable to prevent two Christians from breaking up, or fighting with each other over serious or silly issues.

  Personality conflicts,  irreconsilible differences that legal documents site for marriage break ups…seem strange in the Christain faith…because we are suppose to look beyond our differences and look at what fits the marriage like glue….JESUS!  

So that is  possibly why the Powerful Juanita Bynum and her abusive marriage/domestic violent episode  is rocking the Christian Church and is so very painful and humiliating to watch, and hear about in the media. 

We want Jesus to fix it.  But see,  it has to be fixed within the two people….they have to both be willing….they have to release the issues that have bound them and then open themselves to healing. 

How difficult is that for such a Powerful Preacher Juanita Bynum and her Powerful preacher husband?

With Wendy Williams,  the struggle is severe but also it takes a different turn.  Wendy’s job as a Radio Shock Jock Journalist, is one in which she constantly opens the private lives of well known celebrities to public view through discussion, or interview. 

Now, listen,  Wendy always states….”I did not do the actual research….I only repeated what I read National Enquirer or  “Life and Style” Magazine.  So you can’t say I had an insider tell me and I let the cat out of the bag.”—Wendy Williams…(paraphrase only) 

No,  but she does discuss celebrity gossip as a major part of her show ~~~~just like I am writing about and comparing and contrasting her and Juanita Bynum. 

 If you do not pass gossip along…then you are not a gossiper….but if you join in on the chain of lies…or truths…or whatever they be….you then cannot say that you are not part of the problem….can you? 

 Example,  Britney Spears personal struggles have been so hightlighted by the media that every body knows that Britney Spears may go out on the town with out underwear on ….to night clubs etc.  How do we all know about that? 

  Because the media gossip columnist and Rag Mags,  and Shock Jocks on the radio, and even the regular news channels are constantly showing pictures, or describing  Britney Spears even doing mundane activities like shopping with a friend.

Thus  Wendy Williams is being trashed by her rivals for being a gossip shock jock and now she is embroiled in her own personal dilemmas. 

 So her rivals on Hot 97 are jumping up and down at her troubles and  Wendy is catching the Heat!  

 Wendy is catching the heat like no one else…except Janet Jackson did after her “wardrobe malfunction” during that football game a couple of years ago. Perfect lovable Janet Jackson made a big mistake and it took several years to live it down. 

 The public is not very forgiving of its’  “American Idols”–so it seems.  Thus the troubles of Wendy Williams—high powered black woman in a high stakes position in the radio and television media/journalism industry….So again I ask…

.Why would her also “black” husband not realize the opportunity they both have to pave the road for young minorities of all races….are the issues in the marriage that severe or that trivial?

  It is like being at the top of a mountain….Let’s say Mount Everest….a very tall mountain upon which you can see the future….and yet you worry about a splinter in your finger!

  To remedy that splinter is easy….but that distance you wish to travel will be a long, long road filled with bumps, valleys, dark places, and bogs….so move forward and not look back.

  It is sad to see our hopefuls that give our youth vision….for the Old Testament states….”Without a Vision the People Perish!” 

  So that is why I  focused on these two women and the men they are married to.  Do they not realize that their lives have impacted on so many generations  to come?  Probably not.

The problem I have with domestic violence is that it appears that the man (any man)  who either rapes a woman,  or beats a woman….uses those extreme methods to have POWER over a situation inwhich the man feels powerless. This is a difficult issue to say the least.

What do you think?

Riveroflifelisajoy

Why I loved TYLER PERRY’S “WHY DID I GET MARRIED”!

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UNIVERSE AND WEAVE IN HARMONY

UNIVERSE AND WEAVE IN HARMONY

 I truly enjoyed this movie.  The black women actresses were fantastic.  None of the Ghetto Mama Drama of which I have grown extremely tired of. 

  I do not know why some movie directors, and HollyWood think that all I want to see is some woman with 10 kids, living in a drug infested neighborhood dodging bullets! 

I was not raised in a apartment…..I grew up in a house, and conversations and arguements and issues arose and were addressed. 

I loved Janet Jackson’s very simplistic way of  acting.  She played her role, and  allowed herself to listen to her co-actors. 

She was great, and was very convincing.  I kept thinking….why hasn’t Janet Jackson done more acting?   I could see her in a docudrama about history, or a biography of some famous black person. 

Come on Janet…..you are more mature as a actress….step it up and move into the roles you deserve!  I wish for Janet all the best!

The actress,  who played the wife of the X-foot ball player(Tasha Smith)….was excellent.  I believe that she also played in T-I’s movie about Atlanta.  Great comedy timing!  She was a sleuth from the West Side!

  Funny lady!  She watched everthing and caught it all!  No body could say anything when she was done with them.  She even stood down two men and a tiny dog—-a little ghetto in delivery….but still clear, concise and exact on her reactions to her co-actors.  Great….I really think that she carried her cast with that comedy.  Although it was a type of “black” comedy….it was still great!

The  overweight black actress(Jill Scott), was great.  She approached her role in a timid way.  She was a sleeping giant. But her issue is too well known by heavy women throughout the world.  Phsyical Health and Mental health in the sense of selfesteem). She was able to translate her pain into  humble glances and low voice tones.  I am a big girl…so I could relate to much of her feeling…..but she did always try to aim high and hope for the best….even if it was not the best for herself. 

The young lawyer who was striving for success was clear and clean in her delivery also. She just seemed clueless as to the problems that her desire to MAKE IT were causing her family.  The actress was also quite convincing in her rejection of her “husband.”  Very good eye contact and  listening to her co-actors and her facial responses were appropriate.  Great black female actresses.

Keep up the great work.

Details that I remember and love from that Movie!  Tyler Perry you are the greatest! 

Follow the list and then go out and get the movie!

  • The X-football player and his wife.
  • The wife (Tasha Smith)   of the X-foot ball player carried the movie with her over the top rants about everthing!
  • Tyler Perry near love scene in bed with his wife(Sharon Leal)—-   convincing look of a man in love—Wonderful!
  • The over weight wife and her cold hearted in your face husband and his cheating evil ways.
  • The handsome Sherrif and his compassionate understanding of a big girl and her need to be accepted as a person….
  • The cute way the overweight rejected wife gave the Sherrif the once over with her eyes….realizing  how handsome he was and her attraction to him while working at the “general store.”
  • The emotional scene that Janet Jackson played in coping with the loss of her  child from a car accident. ( That scene so real….Janet said…No more lies!–It almost seemed that she was talking from experience.)
  • The men talking and bonding scene in which they discuss marriage,  and condom usage….or the lack thereof.
  • The scene when the X-football player and his wife got into a “choke hold over V.D. issues at the dinner table.”
  • The over weightwife coming to realize that her husband was cheating in front of her very eyes and the wine bottle clunk that followed!
  • Tyler Perry totally convinced me that he never ever had that Medea character in him at all!—-TYLER PERRY IS BETTER THAN SO MANY OTHER MEN THAT PLAY THE ROLE OF A WOMAN AND THEN STEP BACK INTO THE ROLE OF A MAN!  —HE WAS CONTROLED AND INTELLIGENT!
  • GIVE TYLER PERRY AN OSCAR FOR HIS WRITING
  • GIVE TYLER PERRY AN OSCAR FOR HIS CONCEPTS
  • GIVE TYLER PERRY AN OSCAR  FOR HIS INTELLIGENT APPROACH TO ALL OF HIS PLAYS, SHOWS AND MOVIES!
  • I respect that man…..I hope for him all of the best!
  • Thank you for the enjoyment.
  • I keep replaying the X-football player and his wife turning point at the dinner table and its serious,  funny impact.
  • The X-football player’s wife has great comedy timing!—Get that woman more roles!

Thank you  —and go get that movie and buy it!  Go to Hollywood Video Rentals!  It is for 2 videos for $10.00 PER MOVIE  in Queens Village New York! ((((I DO NOT MAKE MONEY FOR THE HOLLYWOOD VIDEO PLUG…..I just like the staff there.  They are very pleasant and they always recommend good movies to me!)))) 

Congrats Tyler Perry!  

What a refreshing change from ANOTHER MEDEA MOVIE/PLAY  ya know?

fini—

riveoflifelisajoy

Controversy of the New Governor Paterson: I Need Parental Guidance for the Latest News Stories! Wow! Threesomes….I never thought such Words would be connected to Elected Officials!

   Jay Jewels Cry FOR HUMANITY(Jay Jewels “Cry for Humanity”)

I just can not take it anymore!  I had heard alot of negative things about Spitzer  before this  big mess came to the front.  All I want to know is this.  When he was having these activities where were his security team? 

Look,  I really do not want to discuss Spitzer.  I just want to know why the news papers have to keep making each head line full of words that you do not want to discuss in front of your kids….even your older kids for that matter.

  I am very open  in discussion with my family on many topics.       But the McGreevy issue was so way over the top of my level of existence I was embarressed.  I felt like I had a furtive glance over at the dirty magazine section in the subway newsstand!  I do not know what the future holds! 

What was worse is  that today I saw our new Governor’s wife’s foot bottom with her big toe sticking way out from underneath her leg in a yoga pose on the front of the Daily News!  Is that really neccesary?  Is it required to show every aspect of our elected officials private selves?

  I will not have the bottoms of my feet and big toe photographed just to get a private sector or public service job!  I just do not get it!  Did the legally blind new Governor Paterson cheat on his wife for three years or less? 

 Why did I have to know about it?   I do not believe any one has not cheated …even if it has been emotional cheating.  You know what I mean.  The type of cheating that involves the phone calls to a good “friend” from work. 

 You eat lunch with this person and laugh about job issues, get frustrated together,  complain about the same stuff and cry on each other’s shoulder when the other does not get that much wanted  promotion.  YOu know what I mean!  That job friend that is of the opposite  sex! 

 Emotional committment….days that person is absent from work…are empty days.  Sometimes you might even tell your spouse that you work friend was sick and work slowed up in his or her absence!  You just could not hide your emotions about the empty feeling you had all day.  So now you mope!

Any way,  I digress!  The problem I find in all of this open discussion is that after a while everyone will be found guilty!  Even today in the AOL Black Voices blog….the mayor of Detroit, who is black  is now being told to step down for not telling the truth about his affair! 

 This had nothing to do with his actual job.  But if you have cheated on your spouse, or had an affair you must come clean about it!  Or you face being let go under big,  big,  shame!  “THE SCARLET LETTER HAS RETURNED!”  —for those of you who are literature buffs! 

 Do we have to now tell of the crushes we had as little kids, tweens, teenagers,  then pets we owned,  aunts, uncles, we liked  or did not like?

  Do we have to tell of the time we accepted a gift and then turned around and regifted it because we lied about how much we liked something and really didn’t?  Are there going to be lie detector tests that will analize whether we tell somebody that the dress they brought looks good on them or not and whether we mean it? 

Do you have to now double check yourself and your personal relationships before you apply for a job?  Where will this end?  Public service is truly public isn’t it?  I just can’t take it any more. 

 I do not  want to know so much personal information.  I want to just know that I can get my taxes lowered,  get an increase in my annual pay,  go to college cheaper,  pay for my dental work cheaper….lose weight safely and go on trips in our free country!  Prosititution is not acceptable….definitely not! 

But do I have to see Governor Paterson’s wife’s FEET on page #2 of the Daily News?  Can we leave nothing private?  I never saw Nancy Reagan’s feet,  I never saw Hillary Clinton’s feet,  I never saw Jimmy Carter’s (President Carter’s) wife’s feet! 

 So why is Mrs. Paterson’s life so exposed?  JUST TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!!  JUST LOWER THE RATES OF CAR INSURANCE!

  LOWER THE RATES OF MORTGAGES!  LOWER THE RATES OF HEALTH INSURANCE!  LOWER THE RATES OF TOLLS ON THE BRIDGES,  LOWER THE PRICE OF FOOD….GET THE MYSTERY GARBARGE  ADDITIVES,  OUT OF OUR FOOD.  STOP GLOBAL WARMING, SAVE THE POLAR BEAR,  SAVE THE SEA ANIMALS, STOP DREDGEING THE OCEAN FLOOR AND KILLING OFF THE BARRIER REEFS,  STOP OVER FISHING,  ETC., ETC., ETC.,!  

Can we get back to business please and save the planet and mankind please!  The only bare foot I want to see is that of a homeless person getting shoes and socks put on it! 

AM I WRONG?  PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Thank you.

—-riverolflifelisajoy