Riveroflifelisajoy’s Weblog
Just another WordPress.com weblogArchive for Family Leave Act and Epilepsy/seizure
Where Have I been?
I have been on a journey…
My friend
I have not been lost
intentionally
but a journey of length
and depth has
challenged my
very heart and soul
I have gathered need
and gathered sorrow
My journey leads me
down dark alleys
bright rooms,
painful thoughts
and haunting fears
Tears are worthless
here on my journey
But the tears still come
and roll down my cheeks
like snowballs gathering
size and speed
My nose and face feel clogged
from the emotions spent
on this journey
Come free me my friend
from this torment
But I do not cry for myself
I cry for another
My son, my dear son
What will be?
Sickness again claimed
him on June 24 after
his American History
Regents exam…of which he
did receive an 88!
The victory of his passing
is overshadowed by the
illness that gripped him in
its stealy hands
I wish for him joy,
health, and happines…
I pray for him health, health, and more health
So that has been my journey my friend
Seeking health and strength for
the child of my womb
The child I had prayed for 15 years ago
is in a battle for his life….
So my journey is not a lonely one
but a hard. brittle, prickly one
Where have I been? Right here,
at home, at work, but journey is a battle of
the mind and strength of the
spirit.
JOurney is to walk a walk of faith,
and endurance…
So I have not called you, written you,
but I know you are still there.
I will not go,
while I continue this journey, whose
destination I yet do not know.
-fini-
Riveroflifelisajoy
credit of waterfalls image…from aol journey images
COTTON MOUTH
Dry like the parchment of the
scroll of a writ
of so long ago
Thousands of years
hid away
Moments in the hands of
an anthropologist
crackling under his
sweaty palms
grasp
the dry old parchment
will melt away
if not put in sealed
archival containers
dry like the old linen dress
of yesteryear
like a ball of cottom in my mouth
the medical diagnosis
has come and gone
and now my sensations are
minimized
except for the diagnosis
pain that is ripping its’
way deep into my heart.
Trying to explain to my
child that he has to
take medication to save his
life.
Cotton mouth,
loss of taste for the
things you love.
Loss of sensation in my
feet and hands
Sitting I type not
feeling, not
wanting to feel the pain
deep searing a tunnel through
my stomach
I feel full,
gas overcomes my belly
cotton mouth
prevents me from
eating
like the fullness of
emptiness I hold
deep in my belly to
unfold until I scream from
pain and agony
Take the truth,
dealt the truth
no compassion
was the final blow
given
lost in a new
hell
fear of the unknown and
the diagonosis compells
the rickety fence of hell to
open and reveal the ominous
cavern that threatens to swallow
us whole
We must proceed my child
we must go in
Cotton mouth,
sweaty palms,
sweaty feet,
sudden compulsion to
release bodily fluids,
fight or flight sydrome
in full affect
compel me oh Lord
toward the light
Let taste return
Cotton Mouth–
I cannot swallow
for the diagnosis
itself is not paletable
The diagnosis was
given with such cold
precision like the blade
of the surgeons knife
Hold my hand my child
walk together we will
toward the tower of hell
but together we will
climb to heaven
despite the steely grasp of the Cotton mouth!
Cross Over
Cross Over and move out the way
Sometimes the river does not
sway, the tide is high and
my spirit is low
I do not want to look back
or let go
What do I say to my child
to day
His love of life has
been challenged,
like a dry twig broken
and chips of it splinter
and fall away
His health is limited
yet a picture of health
is he
So why this sad problem
that plagues me today
The doctor looks cool, and
medical team too serene
Your child has to take
xxxmiligrams and
that is all…
Have a nice day
Go forth, leave the
hospital and jump back
into the stream. river of life
and move on
after this limited 5 day
hospital stay
But wait, I have more questions,
What about the side affects….
“OH, he just might be a bit sleepy…that is all
any way…have a good day!
No, NO! I need to say this, I have to ask
that….do not dismiss me so easily
For I must fight for my child
I must question, and stay longer if
I must
For though you are the doctor…I cannot
entirely trust
for each patient has
different needs, and questions…so let us reason,
let us rationalize before we say our goodbyes!
So again I say dear Doctor
today—crossover from your generalized sermon, and
medical doctrine
Crossover to a parent who is human, and alive..
Because the condition of which you speak
is not simple to me
not simple to my child
just simple medical diagnosis to you
So please….cross over from the cold
cruel world of illness
disease
and speak
Woman to Woman, possibly Mother to Mother
please.
Fini
Riveroflifelisajoy
Wonderful!
Wonderful I said.
Yes, Just Wonderful!
The weather is bright,
The moon is just right……
Wonderful!
But yet—I cry.
Why me I said,
the child of mine lays
flat on the bed.
The sun is shining brightly outside
his bedroom window.
We were just getting ready to go home
And he became ill.
Wonderful, I had said,
Marvelous, Great Fantastic
I thought and then
he was prone
attacked by a seizure.
“I Need Help! I Need Help! I NEED HELP! I NEED HELP!
Was all I could say
I wanted to wail,
and scream and
drive that evil away!
I can’t watch, I can’t see
the Evil wretch which
threatened and attacked
my fifteen yearold baby!
So what?…that he is fifteen….does it matter?
If your husband, or wife take ill….does it
matter that he or she is 50 years old? or 35 years old?
Sickness, disease….NEVER come at the right time!
Death does not live in a life of reason
or ryhme….So please do not
ask me, or chide me and say….HOW OLD IS YOUR SON?
For when he lay prone against the hospital bed, and nothing left
to be said—-Look at him with love, look at him
with compassion…..for your family, your friends could be
sick tomorrow or the
day after…..just pray for me today
Don’t say, Well, he IS 15!
Well, a lady whose husband passed away at the age of 45 from a massive
heart attack was older….and the loss is deep, and troubling nonetheless…..–Remember Jack Ritter who died from a Massive Heart tear?— from
Three’s Company Fame?—Everyone Cared…and Cried
all the same!
Just offer a hand or a hug of compassion,
and a gentle breeze of concern….
Do not dismiss my challenge with
How Old is he? Even if he were age 18—-he still would need MY help!
Yes, he is still my child….
So yes, Wonderful!
It truly is Wonderful…when people can be responsive in a most
pleaseant way.
Why don’t you try that approach
today?
P.S.
THANKYOU SYNDER CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL @ LongIsland Jewish for helping my son—No matter what his Age!
FINI!
—-Riveroflifelisajoy
Riveroflifelisajoy's Weblog 