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“Don’t Love me too much” –haiku prose- by riveroflifelisajoy

still-life.jpg

 ***Oil paint of still life by RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY  8/07 

 ****************************************************

Don’t love me too much

he said, and I held him tighter

You have to love G-d more

I do, I said.

No…you don’t

he said

I grew angry that

he saw through my

tears of fear

I feared loss

I feared loneliness

I feared the emptiness

and empty bed

I loved him

We would embrace

and our “unique” addition

to the Eskimo nose kiss was

our left eye to right eye touch

Our eyes and cheeks would touch

He would flutter his eye lashes on mine

I would try to see within his soul

through my mind’s eye

Don’t love me too much

You have got to love G-d more

We held hands even in our sleep

We would entwine our legs even

in our sleep

We awoke and talked of our

goals

He would jump up and bring

a paper to bed and show me the

plans he had written the day

before

I would look on and think

I  AM  –lucky, or proper term

blessed I was to

have a man with vision

goals and dreams

I would hug him and

close my eyes and

be so happy

I just want to be happy

I said

“It is not about you

It is not about me

It is about what we can do for

others he said

His goals were plain

His goals were simple

Help those around you

Do what you can for the

disadvantaged

Jobs, training,  youth, and

prayer

He wanted to be a minister

He wanted me to be there

A dark cloud approached

and my sunny day faded to

black

I could no longer hug his strong

muscular back

For he was gone

Skizzzz

Soooo

FREAAAAAA

NEEEEEE

YAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

A gutteral,

primitive scream!!!

That horrible disease

destroyed my dream

Darkness took over

tentacles crawled from the

depths of hell

and dragged him down

a so,– so deep well

Don’t love me so much!!

was all I could hear

Take care of my son,

to me you will always be

dear!!!!!

Continue to sing,

and give to the poor

for in that you will not

lose me….ever more!!!!

So I continue to help

I continue to give

Although my arms ache,

the lost love that

I can no longer take

I understand now

I ponder and think

What did he see

beyond that ugly,

ugly, brink?

I have not lost him

when at last I think

he  has been in every

good deed

I will not falter

until my dying day

Although there is no

grave plot

No memorial for him

for that ugly, ugly

monster has  claimed

him from within

He is missing,

traveling a road I can

not find

Missing in body—

missing in mind

SKIZOPHRENIA!

He is gone, for nine years

Don’t love me too much

Hold on to G-d

I did grow strong

I will go on

But I will always

love him

from now on

Do not feel sorry for me

For I have suffered great

loss

But I have no regrets

For great was the love

some would call it soul

mate

I call it a blessing from

above

He was my teacher,

my mentor,

my best friend

my lover

my husband

He had a good and

honorable job

as a Corrections Officer

yet he was taken from me by

illness beyond my control

His goals and dreams never to

be fulfilled

But yet he still lives on

Don’t love me too much

—but I do

———————-Fini’

riveroflifelisajoy

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2 Comments»

  bookbabie wrote @

Very powerful writing:)

  riveroflifelisajoy wrote @

tHANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE.


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