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WHY DID My Son Stop Drinking Milk?


My Boy

I  have  tears in my eyes as  I listen to Ave Maria and I write this blog. I am crying because it is so beautiful.  It is not the traditional Ave Maria. I found it on Youtube. But the second reason I am crying while I write this  blog is that My  22 soon to be 23 year old (March 30, 2016) son Stopped drinking milk actually Friday Night.  I was shocked when he  brought home Almond milk.

I said to him, Why did you buy that? He said, I saw what they do to COWS.  I immediately knew when he said that that he saw something  HORRIBLE on the internet about  the abuses  suffered by  our  wonderful COWS that provide life saving calcium and nutrition. Although some vegans might beg to differ.

Nonetheless COW MILK has  been a staple in the United States as far back as most people can remember.  We worry about  Homogenized milk and  cleaning the bacteria from it.  But  do we  ever  concern our  thoughts  with the LONG  HOURS  COWS are hooked up to those  MILKING MACHINES.

Do we ever consider that  those  COWS are not allowed to walk freely?  Do we  ever  think about that the milk that they provide is  really for their  own little heifer that they never  conceive and never  give birth to.  Do we  think about  the  COWS—————–

being SLAUGHTERED/murdered when they  has  been used  to the  final part of  its SHORT SHORT LIFE?  I did not have to see the video that my son saw to understand  what  he  meant.

What makes me  cry is  so many things,  so many feelings,  so many concepts and arguments in my head.

First of all my son touched my heart deeply because  he has come to be a man and  take a stand for what  he  believes no matter what the cost.  My son stopped drinking  milk because he  saw the importance in  to seeing  a wrong in the world around him and doing something about it.

Even if all he  could  do in some  small  way —was to STOP DRINKING MILK—I do not know  if even one  COW would be saved by my  son’s Selfless Actions  but  it touched my heart to see the my  SON has  truly understood how my  life  and  actions  have always been to protect  the HELPLESS,  THE LOST,  THE LONELY,  THE HURT , THE HARMED,  whether it be  a bird,  a animal, broken tree branch, a flower,  a delicate insect like a praying mantis,  or even a slug or snail—and  MOST OF ALL ANY AND ALL HUMAN BEINGS.

I was a  LAW ENFORCEMENT  SGT. for  over 25 years and it was my job to protect life and society from harm.  My son is getting ready to graduate from New York City College of  Technology as  a BroadCast Director and Graphic Designer. My son JOSHUA HOWARD has no interest in pursuing a LAW ENFORCEMENT career.

My son observed my struggles and  strains to raise him and  care for his  grandmother after his  father  became  castrophically sick and left me  with all the struggles and strains of  SINGLE PARENTHOOD.  However no matter what  I cared for my mother and  6 dogs at one time  while  still going to a full time LAW ENFORCEMENT JOB.


I was injured and hurt so many times and  suffered many problems but  finished my 25 years and  now  am about to see my son complete his  4 year college degree.  I want my son to have  his  needs  met, have an occupation that will fulfill his  hearts desire and be able to  turn back and help, teach, and LEAD the next generation of  HUMANBEINGS.

I believe as a mother I realize that my mortality is  forth coming, as  with anyone who has  been alive and worked super hard to  care for a family and then move out of the way for the next generation to achieve and reach their goals.

So that my son stopped drinking  MILK,  shows me that  THERE IS HOPE AND  PERSPECTIVE GOOD HEARTS IN OUR NEXT GENERATION….if my son is  any example  of that.

Because,  just  like  I worked hard to teach my son VALUES I KNOW  there are other parents  who have  taught their children and wonder if  any of those EARLY lessons  ever  stuck.


“taking the path less traveled has made all the difference.”

Sometimes with this AGE OF TECHNOLOGY you might feel that your children have become mindless drones and just  respond to TEXT MESSAGES,  TWITTER, FACEBOOK AND TUMBLER, –however my fellow parents do not despair…MY SON STOPPED DRINKING MILK TODAY.




I glady tell some people that I do not
wear socks!
My son teases me and says that is why your

I love the summer!
I should have been born in the Tropics…
No….I mean it! Really!

I love to feel sun drenched!
I love to feel the warm sun…not the hot
midday sun…but the late afternoon sun
when you sit up under a tree and allow
yourself to feel that breeze and smell
the grass and summer plants and flowers…
with your eyes closed —suddenly you
can even “feel” the earth revolving! You can
hear the leaves on the trees being gently
tosseled by the warm summer winds.

Ah, yes…I love sand between my toes..
I love to see the tops of my feet and toes
become sun tanned…darker that it is
I love the red tone my dark skin seems
to take on….
Yes, I truly enjoy SAND BETWEEN MY

I remember when I first started working
in Manhattan when I was younger…

My days of walking the Manhattan streets
were fun…except I did not make
enough money to really shop in the
expensive stores…
However, I enjoyed watching the styles
and the people who did shop in those
stores, like Bloomingdales, Macys…etc.

But the Hot Hot streets of Manhattan with
their semi-melt black tar streets would
sometimes feel soft under my toes and
feet when I wore my favorite ballet
slippers as if they were real street shoes.
I loved to dance at that time…so I would go
to a dance studio and attempt to jump
around with “real” dancers in a modern
dance class. I would then leave the class
and afterwards find myself eating a frozen
yogurt from a frozen yogurt stand with
super sweet strawberries on top of my
vanilla frozen yogurt.
I walk down 7th Avenue past 42nd street…
all the way to 34th street and Penn station
and then board the E train to Queens…
the last stop.

I loved the feel of the Manhattan streets in
the summer.
The office workers looked carefree as they
sat watching all the pedestrians walk
by…..Men watching women, and women
talking engrossed in conversations as they
took slow walks back to their buildings to
end their day after lunch.
I know…I had been one of those women
Yet still and all….I loved the City of New
But I still love SAND BETWEEN MY TOES!

When I was about 16 I would go with my
mother to a wealthy woman’s home…Anne
She would rent a house in Fire Island on
Ocean beach.
I loved that place.
My mother would clean that rented home…
and I would walk from the Bay of Ocean
Beach ….on out to the more rough
ocean beach part of the area.
I would literally walk bare foot….I would
saunter down the cement streets…
without a care in the world.
I would wear only my bathing suit and
and smock over it.
I was so thin at the time I would wear
Danskin Leotards/bathing suits.
I had this rich burgandy colored one!
Oh how much I enjoyed those carefree
Sometimes…most of the time I would bring
my CELLO and play it on the deck of Ms.
Anne Shaw’s rented home that my mother
cleaned while I walked carefree.


I have heard and read stories in the
news paper…”Not the Post”—but the Daily
News and Times about people who have
received heart transplants and begin to have
certain behaviors, likes and dislikes of the
owner of the heart that he/she received
in transplantation.

I often wonder..since I read that…what would
someone remember or what strong habits
do I have that would be remembered if I
were to become a heart donator?

My heart would remember my:
First Kiss from my mother when I was born?
My first kiss from my boyfriend when I was
My first hug, first steps, first days of school
My first love?
The day I received Jesus as My Lord and
My first witness of who Jesus is in my
life after that Ephiany of Salvation?
My wedding day to my x-husband?
My realization that my husband had
left me the first time….the second time
and when he became tragically sick?
My first nights of sleeping alone in a bed
that I had shared with someone for ten
My first time of loss from a companion who
I would never see again in life
My first look at my son and realize that he
had lost his father forever to a tragic
disease and who would not ever see his
father again.
My first time that my mother would tell me
that I have to go on for my son…and
focus my attention on the Lord and raising
my son without his father…
My first date with a man….two years after
we tragically lost my husband
My son’s first words, my son’s birthday
and how special that was
My son’s look and behavior that reminds
me of his father…
My life since I have learned to let go and
move forward from my fears and allow
God to lead me toward a new and
joyful life…

Yes….you know the HEART HAS A MEMORY


Your eyes penetrated me
Your words were soft and gentle
You stretched out your hand
and touched my
You prayed for me
You annionted me
You prayed for me
You blessed me
Down deep the prayer
was felt
Down deep the annionting
was received
Down deep prayer was received
Deep within my heart….I praised the
Lord ….for sending someone so
committed to helping others!
Deep is the truth, deep is the love
High above is the spiritual dove
Deep and wide…there is a “fountain flowing
deep and wide.
Come and enter –and
be revived….


Sometimes we forget to pray
Sometimes we forget to even
Thank you!
Lord God Almighty
How many miracles have I received this
year already?
Lord God Almighty
You have shielded me,
Loved me, protected me…
You have shielded my neighbors
You have protected my neighbors
Lord God Almighty
through you all things were made…
Through you people are strengthened
to continue on!
Thank you Lord God Almighty!


I APOLOGIZE…LORD–and Thank you

Dear Lord,

I am your child…but
I grow frustrated sometimes
when I feel like time goes by too
I wish I could stay like a person I know
where I would have constant faith and it
be unshakeable faith.
I get nervous and lonely and scared.
I admit it Lord….I confess my sin.

I have doubt …while others a full of

BUT TODAY…I confess I was a bad child!

I was sad and dispondent…I was lonely and
fearfull, I admit to jealousy of other
women that have husbands, mates, and
boyfriends….I admit my sin Lord Jesus!

How many friends do I have? NOne!
So I admit my sin Lord–I admit my sin.

Please Lord, you are mighty and strong…
Show yourself mighty and strong in my heart
and give me your grace and power.

Hallelujah! Thank you Lord Jesus! I could
not make it without you.

Please Lord…grant me forgiveness of my
selfish will, my head strong self
determine. I had no help I thought…and the
help came. I had no love Lord and you
had someone to me proclaim…
your love!~
I had no peace Lord and to me
peace came…
I had no joy Lord and to me
Joy came…
So I apologize Lord…that I allowed to grow
into the cast down feeling.

Yes, I am still alone….and lonely….I feel lost
around young and old couples,

I do feel sad about my losses in life…
but I do have your life, your love..
your peace and your joy.
Thank you Lord…and forgive me again…
Thank your for having patience on me and
on my soul, and saving me from my sins
through Jesus Christ during this Lenten
Amen! And also thankyou for answering my
prayer about food today…this Saturday.
I remember Lord that I wrote so many
sad and down trodden poems and prose
about not having food to feed my family.
But Lord you had mercy and delivered me and
my family.
Thank you God….Again….your wayward
chile…river of life…AKA MUD OF LIFE
Lisa Miserable…..((((when I am not being
a good servant))))


I went to a Bible Study and the people
were talking to a woman who had changed
her hair style…
Oh, Sister…you look beautiful…
YOu have the glow of the Lord on you!
This Bible group is for singles.

I am a single who has been thrown to
the curb by her husband ten years ago.
I do not belong in this group …I realize that
I am lost and forgotten about.

I am ugly…within….cast away….and
No man looks to me…
No person has interest…

I am unwanted…and unloved…
I am lost….
I look up at the woman that they said has
the “Glow of the Lord on her” and she is


Maybe I didn’t.

I believe I never had it.

That is why my husband left me…
That is why no one comes to me now..
I am alone….and lost…
I am a Christian…but I suffer with finances..
If I was a woman without a child I would
feel better.
But I have a child who has medical needs.
I have my mother too….she has medical

I have been working for over 20 years in the
same occupation…
but yet….and still I have no decent income.
I am not looking for a man to feed and clothe
I want to be able to care for myself…
Nowadays…no man seeks to “care” for
anybody but himself…Well…No man wants
to care for a 48 year old fat, black woman
with a hair weave….which hides my severely
grey hair.
“YOu have the glow of the Lord on You!”
They are still praising that woman.
They like her alot…Now they say–
“OH, you are going to be the next person
to get married here in this Singles Bible
Group!”—YOu are changing from the inside
and it shows on the outside….You are so
She walked around the room and opened the
Bible Study in Prayer….
(((I wanted to leave….)))

I feel so lost, so alone….so cast down
to the bottom of a pit….
so alone I sit …here on this stupid, stupid


one life
one heart
one love
one start
one loss
one betrayal
one crown
one robe
one tear
one lie
one person
one friend
one leg
one foot
one place
one rule
one child
one job
one problem
one meal
one pain
one gain
one river
one ocean
one fish
two fish
one friend
one spirit
one battle
one victory
won victory!~
two victories!
one time
two times
three wins
and three
one hold
one love
one love
one shared


i feel most alone when:

…I see couples walking hand in hand,
…When I see young mothers with new
born babes in their arms ..cooing to the
….when I see couples playing with their
toddler and enjoying his/her first steps!
….when I see families gathered at a
resturant table for a birthday or family
….When I see a family returing from
a vacation with their suit cases from
Disney World/Disney Land!
…..When I see married couples and their
children returning from church,
….When I return home from church, and
realize it is just me, my mother and my
son…and there is no husband for me to
hug, joke or love…
….I feel phsyically alone, but not spiritually
I know God is there, and God will never leave
me….God will never forsake me….But God
also understands me…
So even if you read this…and you do not
understand me….I know that God does
understand my loss of a intimate personal
life with my X-husband….I know that God
knows and understands, that while I love
him…I miss the actually phsyical contact
that married life had given me over
15 years ago…I know that God does not
hold anger against me for feeling lonely…
So it is okay for me to write this little thing
about aloneness…even with God’s love
in great supply in my life….
So read, and learn….it is alright to have
feelings…as long as they stay in the
right place and do not over take you and
overwhelm you.
Pray, and stay in peace, seek God’s direction
in all that you do.


If I love someone, I try to be supportive
I give my all.
I sacrifice alot
and I cooperate with my loved one
No one is perfect…
but the love that can be strengthened
when you cultivate the garden
that is—the love that you share with
another person…can be awe inspiring!
If I love someone….I tend to give my
heart and not “soul”—….but a great deal of
I have to watch my heart….because I give
without receiving back…many times.
So, there you have it.
The true heart of Lisajoy!