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Barak OBAMA —Who is Barak Obama? I am black like him—but I know Hillary better it seems.

Can I share this with you?  My little confession?  It is not really a secret, but I am a bit confused by this

.  When I first heard the name Barak Obama I thought,” That sounds interesting!  It has a nice ring to it!”  Then I heard about and saw television discussions about his book about his life as a child and being bi-racial. 

 I might have even looked at the book at the Barnes and Noble Book Store too.  I love to read about personal life experiences, and problems that people over come.  But I still did not connect this nice sounding name to a presidential candidate!   I live in New York City!  

I have watched Saturday Night Live for most of my adult life.  I have been a New Yorker all of my life.  I remember when Hillary Clinton stood beside  Ex-President Bill Clinton when he went through his personal and public issues with a severe indescertion ( to say the least). 

 But what has Mr. Obama done?  Where was he  all of these years that I was watching Ex-President Bill Clinton play his saxophone,  and run the country with his very intelligent wife by his side(no matter what)? 

Life is strange.  I had a situation similiar to Hillary with my husband and it was a difficult time in my life and my marriage.  I stood by my husband’s side. 

I still up hold his name and character for his son and previous acquaintences I run in to from time to time.  Does Hillary’s personal battles indicate that she will make a great president?  Not not nessesarily—but she did show self control under extreme pressure. 

 Humiliation can be a hard, hard road to walk –especially when it is about a “very private,  very intimate matter” that has been splashed all over the news papers!   Especially when it involves your private life with your spouse! 

 I saw a Hillary that would not bend or budge to public outcry.  I saw her husband strengthened by Hillary’s resolve and committment! 

 But what have I seen of  the man with the nice name who is black like me?  I have to honestly say nothing. 

 I have no real reason to see him as a presidential candidate any more than Ron Paul.  I know absolutely nothing about Ron Paul either. 

 And what I do know about Rudolph Guliani makes me angry!  So how do I make my final choice on a president? 

Listen,  there is too much at stake.  The world,  the global economy is in an uproar. 

The GASOLINE PRICES ARE PROMISING TO GO UP!!!!  And what is worse is that the United States  Dollar is declining in value….which means my dollars do not spend like they use to. 

Do you think that I am so shallow that I would place my vote in the direction of   the attitude of: “Oh,  that guy is black (or mixed race)  let me cast my vote in that direction so that we can get ONE OF US IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

  I am rather conservative and yet I also have moments in which I am quite Liberal.  But as I stated early—THERE IS TOO MUCH AT STAkE! 

I do not want another war!  My son is fourteen.  I do not want him being sent to another war because someone reacted!!! 

Reactionary behavior can not be tolerated in the condition that the world is in. 

I have a perfect example of what I mean.  Did you ever see those medical mysteries/ miracles shows on Discovery Channel – in which a baby was born with the delicate heart beating strongly but on the outside of the babies chest cavity? 

 Did you see how the doctors  gently,  ever so gently urge that little beautiful heart back into its rightful, perfect place? 

 If it is not done gently,  carefully,  thoughtfully that new born babe would surely not survive. 

Don’t you want to see this world survive? 

 The natural resources are disappearing,  polar bears are dying,  the possible “global warming”  make take away from the future of your children and mine.

  So what to do?  What to do?  The HEART OF THE WORLD—STARTING WITH AMERICA  must be urged gently back into place.  The heart of Iraq must be urged gently back into place. 

I am not stating that Barak Obama is not capable of doing it. 

I just don’t know why I know more about Al Sharpton than I do about Barak Obama!  

 Yes,  he has been quietly working in whatever state he is from.  

 know Oprah gave him a gala $2000.00 per plate fund rasing dinner….But what are the promises he is making?  Attacking Hillary is not telling me—Ms.  Black Q Public—what  Mr.  Barak Obama will do if we get another  911 attack! 

  Despite the fact that people do not like it…..Hillary will have the common ground of being in the White House as the first Lady before.  She knows the protocol. 

 I do not believe that she will force us into another war.  Yes she might have flip flopped—but  I might have done the same.

  The conditions in this world can not be fortold.  This is not a game of chances…..when you deal with diplomacy it might be for keeps—-it might set off a change reaction that we will not know what hit us!!! 

 I want a person in the presidential office that is not afraid to address issues head on.  I  want a person in office who will take the time to think out a diplomatic option before dropping military like medication on a problem in a foreign land —which of course could come back to bite us later on!

  Some other issues are the need for health care.   I will always thank President  Bill Clinton for the FAMILY LEAVE ACT LAW!   Due to the medical problems in my little family,  I have  had to use that.  FAMILY LEAVE ACT SAVED MY JOB!!!!  

 I  do not know Mr.  Obama is all I am saying.

  He is  on the attack against Hillary.  Sometimes that is a good strategy—but is that what I will see if he was elected to office? 

 Will he attack foreign diplomacy instead of making peace?  Or will he allow certain problems to grow out of control and then react?  

I believe a thoughtful,  steady hand is what is needed for the next president of the United States.

  This is great.  great Super Power of the world.  We feed the masses of  hungry,  and save so many from inhumane conditions. 

 Our country is  a place to help the disadvantaged,  and I want to see that continue. 

I would hope Mr.  Obama could show me more of who he is and what he truly stands for. 

 What  are his concerns for black males,  and gang issues in America?

 Will Mr. Obama set aside money for building better educational programs instead of more jails? 

 Will Mr. Obama look toward saving our nearly defunct Social Security?  I am now 47 years old…..what is going to happen to me when I turn 65 or 70.  Does Mr. Obama have any ideas about that?  

I hope I could hear more about the hopes and dreams for this country than the attacks on one another from the presidential candidates in the next few weeks and months.

What makes an American Gangster?!

Are you telling me that the world is full of good people?  Are you telling me that people  would not sell drugs to others so that they can make a profit from it?  Are you telling me that corruption in the world is not real?  Please rethink that! 

I had explained in my comment at the Black Voices Blog on the movie “American Gangster,” starring Denzel Washington as George Lukus the Drug King pin of the 70’s–that there are American Gangsters all around us.  Some are camoflaged! 

 In the early years of my marriage I had lived in Cambria Heights Queens with my husband and  we lived with his parents so that we could save money to buy our first house. 

Cambria Heights is a predominately middle Class and upper middle class  community.  The houses have beautiful brick Tudor homes and have over, over size front lawns.  All properties are cut by professionals,  the birds chirp sweetly during the spring and summer.  Everybody has atleast two cars,  4×4’s,  minivans,  mercedes,  BMW’s etc.  Everyone has beautful curtains up at their windows. 

 Some people even have family or paid baby sitters who watch their children while they work around the clock to keep that tailored house and tailored lawn in check and up to date with the latest from “HomeDepot”—I know–cause I lived there when I first got married and after I gave birth to my son. 

You can still drive down those streets and see the money and time invested in that community by it’s residents. 

However,  there was an American Gangster there some 16 years ago when I lived there.  You would not have known it.  This guy was low key.  He wore his pants up on his butt….he wore a belt around his waist.  He wore non-designer clothes. 

Once in a blue moon you would see a small black BMW parked in his drive way.  Once in a while he looked like he was going out to dinner and would get into this black BMW and drive off with his beautiful girl friend (she looked like Rihana without the glitz and bling—just a simple ponytail down her back–very demure—too plain to be exact). 

 He had no children.  He only had two black Rockwieler dogs.  He had them on a regular walking schedule.  The house was smaller than my inlaws house.  It had recent sandblasting and cementing work done on the brick face and the drive way.  The house was plain but emaculate!!! 

 I noticed that he had the alarm strips on all of the windows of the house.  He kept two very ugly Ford Taurus Cars parked  in front of the house or the drive way.  I never, ever  saw heavy human traffic in or out of his house.  He talked to my husband just to say a quick “Hello,”–but nothing too much. 

 One day I told my husband about the two  caucasion men that had exited this guy’s house and got into a sleek shiny Mercedes Benz and drove off silently.  My husband said,”oh, really?  You know he is a drug dealer right?”  I was shocked!! I was scared too!   I grew up very sheltered. 

 I was unaware of what a drug dealer really looked like.  But I certainly did not think that the drug dealers I had heard so much about it in the news looked like this guy!  Wow!—We talk about STERO TYPES OF RACES–never,  ever underestimate the crime world—

This guy moved away abruptly one day.  I saw alot of haste in his actions.  He was dismantling his house from the inside.  He had boxes,  and bags and did alot of moving at night.  I thought it strange because I did not see a For Sale sign on the house.  I thought maybe he was going on a trip.  Then the activity stopped and the house was quiet.  I did not see the dogs,  or see the ugly Ford Taurus cars any more. 

 I told my husband,  who had been a Corrections Officer at the time—he told me,  “He got a call from a guy that he had been a partner with in the drug dealing thing that he did.  The guy was coming out of jail and was going to be looking for him!   He had a sc0re to settle–That guy was on the run!!!  I suddenly believed that a drug dealer does not have to stand on the street corner!!!  A drug dealer does not have to be obvious to the neighborhood.—-Yet this guy is helping to destroy lives. 

 But I knew like any other crime—a price must be paid….and I guess he realized that he was living on borrowed time—no matter how innocent a life he presented on that quiet tree lined,  over sized lawned block in Cambria Heights. 

Another little situation happened on that street in Cambria Heights.  A house a few doors down from that quiet American Gangster guy took his place after he left.  When I first moved to that neighborhood I noticed that this house in opposition to the “quiet gangster” down the block—this house was full of people and quite noisey!!  Those were not drug dealers in that house….What happened was that the owner had died and left it to relatives–a man to be exact.  However, this man already had a residence, so he used to rent out rooms  to young black college students. 

All of them appeared to have jobs, and cars….They were just talkative and about their personal private lives.  Well,  it seems that the man that rented the house sold it one day.  He sold it to some other guy who moved in without alot of furniture and no family that any of us could see.  The house needed some repair so it appeared that the new owner of that house broke up the drive way and side walk preparing it to be made as lovely as all the other lawns on that quiet block in Cambria Heights Queens.

  However, things took a turn for the worse.  He had a big rectangle dumpster placed in front of the house for discarding his cememt pieces from the drive way and the sidewalk.  Then I noticed a brown bag always on the top portion of this dumpster.  I would then see a bedragagled looking male or female suantering up this quiet block. 

The people that went to this guys house were more out of place than the caucasian guys who had gone to the other “drug dealers” house directly across the street before he ran/moved away.  This guy left the dumpster in front of his house for several months.  Work on the sidewalk, and drive way came to a stand still and the human traffic to this house was on the increase.  No one went into the house.—These strange, and haunted individuals would saunter up to that EYESORE of an dumpster sitting in front of the house and pick up that ridiculous brown paper bag and suanter off down the street again. 

 If they saw me exit my inlaws house they would look at me hard—-bold like—no fear or nothing!  I could feel the negative energy. 

 Soon my husband and I moved away after I had my baby and we brought our first house. 

But six months down the road my inlaws called to tell my husband what had happened….Which they really did not have to tell him—Because it was already all over the news!!! The guy with the dumpster in front of his house had a “factory operation” going on for “CRACK COCAINE” –This guy got murdered at 3 o’ clock in the morning.  A horrible drive by—but also an attack a murder spree erupted.  That guy never had a chance.  He was taken out of that house in a body bag!!!!  What a mess and I was so glad to be out of that neighborhood. 

Drugs are every where!  It is a disgusting plague of the human society in every walk of life.  I find it worse those who fill the need so that they can get paid. 

How do you live with yourself knowing that you are selling drugs to people;  some pregnant women who give birth to drug addicted babies?  How could you?  Do you know that evil deeds do have Karma Attached to them? 

 My husband used to tell me that while he worked in Rikers Island,  Solitary Confinement–HDM  a.k.a. the Bing—commonly referred to— Most inmates with twenty years to life had related stories of murder,  drug dealing,  kidnapping and the like—Most inmates who were in for crimes of that deep level explained to him,”Look,  I have done more crimes than this crap that I am in here for.”  They did not catch me for the time I held this other drug dealer and some of his people hostage and then killed them!” 

 You might think that those guys were making up glorified stories to entertain my husband—but let me be clear—people in solitary confinement—back in the 80’s would fight Corrections Officers,  and attack at any time.  This was not a place for the weak of mind or body.  To be honest with you—that is one of the reasons that my husband is missing at this very moment (for nine years to date).  The stress of that job took him away from myself and his child.  (—I will discuss that in another blog–some other time—but trust—it will be discussed.)

So in conclusion,  American Gangsters are not to be glorified….but people please talk to your children.  American Gangsters are men or women on a mission.  Except that is not a mission for the better of society.  It is a mission to supply their personal financial goals and they do not care to whom they sell and whose family it destroys. 

Talk to your children,  and educate yourself….What looks innocent is not always innocent.  What smells stinky….is most likely coming from  a source—seek the source of the stench and you will find the danger that lurks within—Watch who your children associate with.  Do not underestimate you child and your child’s friends or relatives either.

Keepin’ it  real and  raw  -riveroflifelisajoy!