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Barak OBAMA —Who is Barak Obama? I am black like him—but I know Hillary better it seems.

Can I share this with you?  My little confession?  It is not really a secret, but I am a bit confused by this

.  When I first heard the name Barak Obama I thought,” That sounds interesting!  It has a nice ring to it!”  Then I heard about and saw television discussions about his book about his life as a child and being bi-racial. 

 I might have even looked at the book at the Barnes and Noble Book Store too.  I love to read about personal life experiences, and problems that people over come.  But I still did not connect this nice sounding name to a presidential candidate!   I live in New York City!  

I have watched Saturday Night Live for most of my adult life.  I have been a New Yorker all of my life.  I remember when Hillary Clinton stood beside  Ex-President Bill Clinton when he went through his personal and public issues with a severe indescertion ( to say the least). 

 But what has Mr. Obama done?  Where was he  all of these years that I was watching Ex-President Bill Clinton play his saxophone,  and run the country with his very intelligent wife by his side(no matter what)? 

Life is strange.  I had a situation similiar to Hillary with my husband and it was a difficult time in my life and my marriage.  I stood by my husband’s side. 

I still up hold his name and character for his son and previous acquaintences I run in to from time to time.  Does Hillary’s personal battles indicate that she will make a great president?  Not not nessesarily—but she did show self control under extreme pressure. 

 Humiliation can be a hard, hard road to walk –especially when it is about a “very private,  very intimate matter” that has been splashed all over the news papers!   Especially when it involves your private life with your spouse! 

 I saw a Hillary that would not bend or budge to public outcry.  I saw her husband strengthened by Hillary’s resolve and committment! 

 But what have I seen of  the man with the nice name who is black like me?  I have to honestly say nothing. 

 I have no real reason to see him as a presidential candidate any more than Ron Paul.  I know absolutely nothing about Ron Paul either. 

 And what I do know about Rudolph Guliani makes me angry!  So how do I make my final choice on a president? 

Listen,  there is too much at stake.  The world,  the global economy is in an uproar. 

The GASOLINE PRICES ARE PROMISING TO GO UP!!!!  And what is worse is that the United States  Dollar is declining in value….which means my dollars do not spend like they use to. 

Do you think that I am so shallow that I would place my vote in the direction of   the attitude of: “Oh,  that guy is black (or mixed race)  let me cast my vote in that direction so that we can get ONE OF US IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

  I am rather conservative and yet I also have moments in which I am quite Liberal.  But as I stated early—THERE IS TOO MUCH AT STAkE! 

I do not want another war!  My son is fourteen.  I do not want him being sent to another war because someone reacted!!! 

Reactionary behavior can not be tolerated in the condition that the world is in. 

I have a perfect example of what I mean.  Did you ever see those medical mysteries/ miracles shows on Discovery Channel – in which a baby was born with the delicate heart beating strongly but on the outside of the babies chest cavity? 

 Did you see how the doctors  gently,  ever so gently urge that little beautiful heart back into its rightful, perfect place? 

 If it is not done gently,  carefully,  thoughtfully that new born babe would surely not survive. 

Don’t you want to see this world survive? 

 The natural resources are disappearing,  polar bears are dying,  the possible “global warming”  make take away from the future of your children and mine.

  So what to do?  What to do?  The HEART OF THE WORLD—STARTING WITH AMERICA  must be urged gently back into place.  The heart of Iraq must be urged gently back into place. 

I am not stating that Barak Obama is not capable of doing it. 

I just don’t know why I know more about Al Sharpton than I do about Barak Obama!  

 Yes,  he has been quietly working in whatever state he is from.  

 know Oprah gave him a gala $2000.00 per plate fund rasing dinner….But what are the promises he is making?  Attacking Hillary is not telling me—Ms.  Black Q Public—what  Mr.  Barak Obama will do if we get another  911 attack! 

  Despite the fact that people do not like it…..Hillary will have the common ground of being in the White House as the first Lady before.  She knows the protocol. 

 I do not believe that she will force us into another war.  Yes she might have flip flopped—but  I might have done the same.

  The conditions in this world can not be fortold.  This is not a game of chances…..when you deal with diplomacy it might be for keeps—-it might set off a change reaction that we will not know what hit us!!! 

 I want a person in the presidential office that is not afraid to address issues head on.  I  want a person in office who will take the time to think out a diplomatic option before dropping military like medication on a problem in a foreign land —which of course could come back to bite us later on!

  Some other issues are the need for health care.   I will always thank President  Bill Clinton for the FAMILY LEAVE ACT LAW!   Due to the medical problems in my little family,  I have  had to use that.  FAMILY LEAVE ACT SAVED MY JOB!!!!  

 I  do not know Mr.  Obama is all I am saying.

  He is  on the attack against Hillary.  Sometimes that is a good strategy—but is that what I will see if he was elected to office? 

 Will he attack foreign diplomacy instead of making peace?  Or will he allow certain problems to grow out of control and then react?  

I believe a thoughtful,  steady hand is what is needed for the next president of the United States.

  This is great.  great Super Power of the world.  We feed the masses of  hungry,  and save so many from inhumane conditions. 

 Our country is  a place to help the disadvantaged,  and I want to see that continue. 

I would hope Mr.  Obama could show me more of who he is and what he truly stands for. 

 What  are his concerns for black males,  and gang issues in America?

 Will Mr. Obama set aside money for building better educational programs instead of more jails? 

 Will Mr. Obama look toward saving our nearly defunct Social Security?  I am now 47 years old…..what is going to happen to me when I turn 65 or 70.  Does Mr. Obama have any ideas about that?  

I hope I could hear more about the hopes and dreams for this country than the attacks on one another from the presidential candidates in the next few weeks and months.

GASOLINE PRICE IS GOING UP TO $4.00 PER GALLON—I HAVE TO STOP DRIVING TO WORK!!! HELLO METROCARD!!!12/10/07 update

I am updating this to tell you I recently I purchased gasoline for $3.25  for regular gas!  This is bad—but still moving up higher!

***** HELLO METROCARD—GOOD BY WARM CAR,  107.5  Steve Harvey, or 97.1 Ms. Jones in the Mornin”,  or cranky Ed Lover Radio Show. 

I have to kiss my early morning driving life good bye! I cannot afford to drive to work anymore.  I did overtime tonight and had zero gallons in my car.   I went to a Mobile Gas Station and the Gasoline is now ****$3.29**** per gallon!!!! ???? 

This is a moment of prayer—please exuse me….Oh,  you can join in if you like—-

Dear Lord,

Please,  help me,  help this world.  Lord help my finances.  Lord please stop the wars,  and the man’s inhumanity to man— It is getting more difficult as the days go by. Help us Lord… the world needs an answer.

Thank you

I had to pray just now because on Saturday the gasoline price was $3.14 at one gas station and then across the street at another gas station it was $3.19.  I asked the gas station attendant why it was more expensive  across the street,  the  attendant told me that they get this “phone call”  and they are told to raise the price up higher.  He told me that he was just about to raise it from $3.14 up to $ 3.16.  He was just a few pennies cheaper than the gas station across  the street.  I said,  “Oh,  no.”  

 Deep forboding fear began to slide up my throat, into my ears, and my head.  I began to feel  very uneasy,  kind of like when the doctor is holding your test results in his hands and has a grim look on his face. 

 I began to feel  a sickening weakness in the pit of my stomach.  I suddenly felt hungry and tired at the same time.  I felt a wash  of  quiet chaos sweep over me.  Kind of like a silent movie of a hurricane  with the trees blowing and being tossed without sound to acompany it. 

Lord help me.  I have been running to those gas stations trying to pay the already high gasoline price.  And now the gas as of tonight at 930p.m.  is $3.29 and climbing! 

The Mobile Gas Station man sitting behind the cash register was a pleasant man of middle eastern decent.  He smiled and was compassionate.  He spoke with a thick accent….but  I understood every word he said.  He said He had just got the “phone call” to raise the price!   Oh my!!!  I asked him how high did he think it will go….He told me that it will go  up to atleast $4.00 or more by next week. 

That sickening feeling began to take over again.  I felt like I was dreaming and everything was going  slow and fast at the same time;  kind of like a nightmare. 

I had to venture one more question—to increase my misery just a little bit more—-I said, “Why is this happening?  Is this because of the war?  He said, “They will keep raising it.—-bad economy—bad ecomony here.”  I said, “Why?”,  realizing that this was bringing me into a thought of how my love of driving would soon to be changed to love of  bus riding within the next few weeks.

I told the Gas cashier man to give me ten dollars….it do not even reach the 3/4 tank level.  I saw myself leaving at 5am and  walking ten blocks with my unlimited metro card to the bus stop in the pitch black of the early morning.  I have no choice.  I am scared to be out that early—but I cannot afford nearly a hundred dollars $100.00 to fill my tank either!!

So I have to pray—I start work at 7 am in the morning!!! 

Heating bill will go up also—said this Sueth Sayer of the Mobile Gas Station!   I have a high bill still hanging on from last year.  Oh,  Lord—help us all!

Dear Elected Officials—

What is to become of our economy?  Subprime lending—especially in the Black and Latino Communities—as if we didn’t know—but were powerless to do anything about it because we all want that American Dream—(To be a home owner,  with a two car garage and two children and one dog family fantasy!!!

—Now the gasoline  prices for both or one car is challenging our safety,  and welfare!   The fuel  for heating the houses and buildings,  hospitals, and schools and office buildings shopping malls and factories (if there are any left in this country)  is on the rise.

  Which means commerce is going to suffer.   Corporations, and food stores are going to raise food prices,  medical bills,  taxes in order to maintain the fuel that runs this  country. 

 With out gasoline the buses cannot run.  Even though some of the buses are electrical they are not all electrical. 

What to do? —What to do?!

There must be a change coming! 

I am truly going to pray extra prayers tonight—I have to prepare to take the bus at 5am—There is no other way. 

 I have got to get to work.  I must get to work.  I will get to work. 

 I just pray and go forward.  My car will sit and wait for the weekend or nights that I know I have to work late….but I will not be able to afford the gas on a daily  basis. 

 I need a full tank to make it worth my while to drive.  It would be stupid to put just five dollars in the car everyday.  Thank God my son gets a full fare paid metrocard—

Where are the elected Officials?  What are they going to do?

I will continue to pray—because that $4.00 and some change gasoline hike might be coming next week.  I hope the Mass Transit does not go up…..cause I just got a 3% raise—is that enough to carry this new global economy?  I think not!!!

11/27/07 update

I purchased gasoline at a Mobile station on Sunrise Highway for 3.25 per gallon of regular but super was 3.85!!! so the regular was cheaper but super is on the rise!!—-that metro card is looking good.  I will up date later on this week!—check out my recent blog on Mr. Chavez and his threat to the United States about increasing the price of OIL and Gasoline!

We are Cold and We are Hungry!!!

HUNGER AND DOUBT.jpgI am Cold and I am Hungry!!!!  I can’t take it any more!!!  Last week after I paid my rent of $1600.00 my child said what are we going to eat?  

 I looked around the house and he did too….Ole  Mama in da Hood’s Cupboard was bare chile!!!  What to do?  What to do?  —Suddenly it hit me. 

 The “free food” places my mother used to frequent before she had her stroke.  I used to get angry at her for getting the canned food,  and bags of rice, and spagetti (uncooked) and also bags of dry beans.  I thought and even told her—You do not need that stuff —you have a good job at the Post Office.  

 I am not the best cook so I had No idea of what to do with a bag of dried beans.  You see, my husband  had been a Corrections Officer before his castastrophic illness that took him away from my son and I.  So when my husband had been with us,  we would shop for food and spend atleast $300.00 per food shopping session. 

 But now—for nine years…it is catch as catch can—Meaning do the best you can, pray for the Lord to increase a $50.00 food purchase to equal a $300.00 and stretch it as far as two weeks or more!   As my earlier blog on hunger discussed…”I am not eligible because the Welfare deparment only helps people who have more than one child and make less than $38,00.00 per year.  They do not care about your debt to income ratio. 

 They do not care about your net income—they do not care that you pay $1600.00 per month for a three bedroom for your mother, yourself, and your child.  They do not care about the life insurance policy that you have to maintain since your husband has left nothin for his son, and there is no child suuport.  —So what do you do when you have barely any heat in the house becuase you cannot afford to pay the heating bill and cannot afford to pay the food bill after it is all said and done?!

Mother’s are always right!!!  Get to the Free Food places—it is in your community—ask around at the churches….Don’t despair—I just had forgotten during the summer so we really suffered until a loan from my nearly empty pension  came in.  We did not got to any amusement parks, or any type of recreation.  All I did was create paintings to keep myself positive. 

 I would tell my son” Ca mon’ John lets do some art work!!!  Maybe it will make us rich one day!!!  My son is 14 and does not believe in Santa Claus any more—so he just patted me on my head and said yes Mommy,  I love you—I will just draw one picture—but I do not like to paint!   My mother said,  I don’t want to paint I don’t feel like doing that, if you do not mind. ”

I love my family—they have suffered and cried with me for the loss of my husband and  suffered with each other when we take ill,  and during the summer during my vacation we suffered together without food—until it hit me that I could go back to the free food places—no matter how humiliating it can  be. 

 But guess what—-when you have food like the beans I have come to learn how to cook…on the table with some white rice—IT IS BETTER THAN NOTHING ON THE STOVE OR PLATE AT ALL!!!  —So get up off of that computer and check your local churches for the Food Pantry—those who are hungry—God Bless and let me know if you get good results!—Meanwhile we still need an answer about the heat crisis in America!!! 

I think we should all blog, or write or call our local and Washington elected officals about the Oil and Gas Heat crisis!   What type of Christmas and Chanuka is this for our kids?  Hunger and Cold?  The rules of Heap are too strick,  and the prices are too high.  How do you expect me to even afford to purchas holiday gifts from the retailers—-I AM GOING BACK TO THE FLEA MARKET—GOOD BYE MARSHALLS,  GOOD BYE MACY’S,  GOOD BYE WALMART,  AND GOOD BYE COSTCOS!!!  How can I buy jewelry,  coats,  jackets,  shoes,  boots,  cameras,  etc., etc., when I cannot even put food on the table. 

If something is not done not there will empty stores and empty stores means the down fall of the Gross National Product and the loss of business as we know it in America.  I AM MS.  JOHN Q PUBLIC—-I CAN NOT SHOP RETAIL ANY MORE—I DO NOT OWN A CREDIT CARD EITHER—-

Give me some ideas on how to save our economy please—or better yet how to feed,  clothe and put heat on in my abode for my family.

Thanks!  riveroflifelisajoy

GASOLINE AND OIL PRICES OUT OF CONTROL—-I’M FREEZING!!!! WHERE IS THE HEAT?!!!

FRUSTRATION.jpgI AM FREEZING!!!  MY MOTHER IS FREEZING!!!  MY CHILD IS FREEZING!!!   I HAVE NO MONEY TO BUY GAS FOR MY CAR!!! 

What will become of my  Thanks Giving and  Christmas this year?  All of my energy and thoughts are about my freezing fingers while I am sitting here writing this blog!!! 

 I live in a house—I control the heat—but I am a single parent and care giver to my mother!!!!

What on earth is wrong with our economy?  What is wrong with the oil and gas companies ? 

 The problem is that the gas bill is still haunting me from last year 2006!!! 

 I have struggles man!!!  This is a brutal situation!!!  

 When I was a kid my mother did not have to suffer like this!  My mother owned her own house.  My mother always had a way of getting assistance.    

 How do the local politcians and  law makers think that  John Q Public—or Ms. Q Public is going to  survive? 

  They tell you to prepare an “Emergency Preparedness Kit”!!! 

Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!!  What do I do when there is not enough heat—-build a camp fire? 

 I can’t put the heat up too high —they just told us that oil and gas  are going to be a flat rate $200.00 or  more!!! 

 I picture them finding me frozen to the keyboard and staring blankly—then they will locate my family—one by one in their respective favorite locations in the house

—-frozen because there was no money to pay the high Gas bill —and as the great Gas utitlity likes to do—our heat was cut off!!!! 

 This is such a scary time that I am not sure what to do!!!   I went to KeySpan Gas Company and you know what they told me last year?!!!  They said that even if you own house—you are not allowed to earn more than $38,000.00 per year and have only one kid!!!!  What?!!!!   So I need to go make a BABY—at the age of 47 years old—so that I can make the quota for this stupid  HEAP REGULATION? 

  Most of my income goes to life insurance–,  for my untimely -or timely death  (probably due to freezing at this keyboard!!!)  So if heap refuses to help me—What am I to do?  

 They even told me I need to go get another job!!!???  I already work 40 hours a week!!!  My mother needs me home—My teenager needs me home—-

I am a single parent BABY BOOMER —who will  probably NOT LIVE LONG ENOUGH IN THIS FREEZING HOUSE IN ORDER TO USE  the soon NONEXISTENT SOCIAL SECURITY!!!! 

—-HOW ABOUT THIS BABY BOOMER TAKING A LOAN ON THAT DWINDLING SOCIAL SECURITY SO I CAN PAY FOR GAS IN MY CAR AND PAY OFF LAST YEARS GAS BILL????

  Are there any law makers that care about single parent BABY BOOMERS WHO ARE CARE GIVERS TO THEIR ELDERLY PARENTS!?!?!?!    

 The politicians ask for my vote—but they soon forget me when they eat dinner at Ophra’s  in  California and around the  $2000.00  a PLATE TABLE  with THE  BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE that wear Dolce and Gabanna whatevers!!!!  AND  SUMMER IN THE HAMPTONS AND BEYOND!!!!  

 Hey!!!—I guess the Devil REALLY does wear Prada!!!!

—Where is the Heat?!!!!   Where is the $2.00 Gasoline price of yesteryear?!!!  Should we go back to the “BLACK LUNG”—Coal?—Oh, that’s right—the natural resources are dwindling too,  right?!—

  The Non-elected  and Elected Officials  do not seem to hear my humble cry!!!!—-Bloggers out there…..Do you feel  what I am blogging today?  Please tell me if I am wrong for complaining about the high cost of  Oil,  Heating Gas,  or Gasoline!!!

—-I need to get to work—I need a car in case somebody in the family gets ill.

**************************************************************

 Dear Elected Officials,

  What can be done for the BABY Boomers who are stuck between the rules of our system that will not give a single parent caregiver financial asistance to decrease the debt to income ratio of the heat level in my humble abode— because of a ridculous  yearly income that Donald Trump and Ophra would laugh at!!!!!

Any assistance in my thought processes on this topic will be greatly appreciated!!!!!

riveroflifeslisajoy!!!

My visit to the Food Pantry and Why!

Flower of HungerFlower of  Hunger by

Riverof lifelisajoy- 2007

Mom!  What are we gonna eat Today?!

During my vacation

During the time that I am supposed

to be happy…

My son–you know–the one I prayed

for—asked God for—asked me

Mom?  What are we gonna eat?

I said let us look in the Fridge, and

see what we can find–

Only a package of Stove Top Stuffing–

Only some ketchup and

some pasta—

Plenty of ice in the Fridge—

Tell me, do you know the color of

HUNGER?

The Color of Hunger is green to me—

Green like the bile that twists my

child’s stomach in two.

Green like the frustration of a world

filled with rules and regulations that

do not answer my son’s desire for food.

The next day we awoke and  ran

to my car and got in.

We ran to the ATM of my bank and found $$$$$Money!!!

I had been waiting for part of my pension loan to come-in!

We ate like Kings that day!

But what about the weeks to come? 

He needed school clothes,

books,  paper, and shoes and sneakers!!!

He even needed this computer that I am writing from!

Mom, what are we gonna eat?

It keeps ringing in my head—

That awful taste bile is still on my taste buds.

I made sure my son ate—he as to —

I ask God why?  Father why did

My life take such a turn that

You took his father from us–mother and child

and for nine years I have been struggeling and

being ridiculed on my job–

and turned away from food stamps by well meaning

clerks at the  “so-called” welfare department

I have been told to get a second job—and Now

I have found that some places will not hire you  for that

second job unless you have been in the  “welfare system”

I have a job—but it does not cover the debts—I make a set amount of money—so I may pay  rent—but not

be  able to buy enough food to cover me until the

next paycheck—What is a working

“so called—$38,000.00 per year” woman to do?

My job requires me to put insurance on my life—

I am worth more dead than alive—

Yet if I am gone—who will be there to care for my son?

There are no such things as God-parents in my present grouping of people I  have said pleasant “Hellos” to

at church, or work!

After my husband became severely ill and left us with out assistance

I found myself alone–looked down on —

Some people  shunned me for the sake of the

illness that took my husband from me—

The last taboo—

I will not disclose it –but it is a  taboo illness

and it puts a black cloud over the head of the family members

left behind.

So,  I have struggled for nearly ten years with out assistance to care for my Mom and my son!!

Some call me strong—I say that

I am simply scared that if  I don’t keep

working and taking care of them

we will all be lost!  and I have to answer

to God!—-

So imagine my anger,  my pain,  my sense of

loss and fear when my son asks me

“MOM,  what are we gonna eat today?” 

I pray no one has to know the shame of having to

put back food in the supermarket that your

child wants—NOT A VIDEO GAME–

NOT CANDY—NOT JUNK FOOD

JUST PLAIN CEREAL—OR A CAN OF TUNA FISH THAT

YOU JUST DON’T HAVE THE MONEY FOR—

The color of hunger for me during my vacation was GREEN!

Now I have found FOOD PANTRY!!!! 

I will go and get food for my family and I will feed my son!

Thank God for the Food Pantries that are in all

neighborhoods!!—

The food is free and there are plenty of

beans,  rice,  canned fruit and even potatoes!

Beans are protein and can be mixed with the brown rice

and you receive the same amount of nutrition as you

would from a piece of beef….Thank God for the Food Pantry!!!

We went today and received applesauce,  2 boxes  of cereal, two cans of vegetables, and two bags of beans!!!

No one has to know that I can not afford meat—ThanK God for the Food Pantry!!! 

While I was there I met a woman who said the

same thing I say—“After I pay

the rent—I cannot afford to buy food!!!!””

Where are the elected officials?  Do they know how high the food prices are—-Do they know how expensive it is for

single parents like myself  who only make a set income?

I will worry about that tomorrow—but for tonight

I   can tell my son—we are  going to eat and I will season it real good —and you will enjoy it—This food is from the

Lord above—Let us pray for those people who donate

to the Food Pantry!!

What is the real price of rent these days?

LIFE STARTS HERE.jpg

“My God,  My God—why hath thou forsaken me?”  According to the scripture, my God forsook Jesus for a short period of time during the ultimate scarcrifice….Jesus Life for my salvation.  As a Christian I have been experiencing some rather difficult times.  I have been without food,  without electricity,  without heat,  without a decent coat for myself and my child.  Why do you ask?  It all started when my husband became Paranoid Skizophrenic almost ten years ago.  I will not give all of the details but I will tell you that I had a mother in law that nearly destroyed MY life and my Child’s life. 

I had to think and pray…fast,  work,  talk to agencies and organizations to keep from losing the battle with that woman.  Although she was just a human being it appeared that she had the power more than humanly possible. 

 She tried to take my liberty and ruin my life.  However,  by God’s grace she did not succeed.  I was strengthened by a few people in my life.  My mother,  and a few people at work….literally a few.  I was surprised that churches did not offer any real help. 

 When my husband was put away for a month due to a court “mental Hygiene warrant—the church I attended at that time refused to visit him. 

They told me that they were praying for him and that would be enough.  They did not offer any food,  any money and they did not even come to visit me.  But as “Paul” stated…..”My God is suffiecient to meet all our needs, a

ccording to his riches in glory.”  It was not based on the people I would have expected to help me…Finally—life after nearly ten years has been hard…..but eventful—even filled with miracles.  Without the help of strangers and others (some not of my religious beliefs at all)—My son and my mother and I have been making it. 

 NO,  I have NO hatred for those out to harm  me…..I have too much at I am  trying to focus on.  My music,  my education,  my son’s future and the blessings that I had to open my eyes to see around me. 

 But getting back to the original title of this blog—“What is the real price of rent these days?”  Mine is $1600.00  per month for a 3 bedroom—-

You see—it is all about the NEIGHBORHOOD!!!!   Who can afford a cheap rent and live in a “drug infested,  gang banging, etc., etc., etc., area and leave your kid to walk to a bus stop, untouched,  or leave you elderly relatives in dangerous areas unsecured?  

 What is the price of rent these days?—Is it monetary?  Or is it peace of mind?—-Last week I had to go to the local church food pantry to get food.  I make too much to  be eligble for food stamps—-I was told I have to make another child to receive them.  I was told to go out and get another job. 

I was told I would have to be a drug attic by the local welfare department counselor or had my case and my request for simple food stamps  to feed my family. 

“What is the price of rent these days?”  I lost my house after my husband got sick, and I lost my credit rating because I could not sell the house without his signature. 

 The mortgage company—said you have to have both signatures to sell it—-don’t worry we are taking the house and they took it.—-So I end up paying rent—which is higher than my original mortgage—-$1400.00  —-

What was the point of all of that anyway?  Oh, that’s right….the mortgage company had to make a sale so the country could continue to go down in the subprime chaos—But as I recall from the begining of my blog—-

Jesus said, ” My God!  My God!  Why hath thou forsaken me!!!”  Sometimes I feel like that too….especially when I have no food on the table after I pay the $1600.00 RENT—DON’T FORGET THE GAS, ELECTRIC,  TELEPHONE BILL—oh—I do not have cable–

I do not have direct TV—but guess who does?  

 My  X- mother in law—-who retired from a high paying city job…..My income is limited due to medical condition of my child and my mother—-I also do not receive child support because my X mother inlaw made sure that my husband (mentally ill)  did not apply for any social security benefits.

  My son will be 18 years old in the next three years and has never been given any financial assistance except from me….the full time struggleing single parent!  Amazing right? 

You see my  husband was so mentally ill, and is currently been missing since 1998 and never received benefits….because my Xmother inlaw stated that she would make sure that I would never receive any financial assistance from my husband her first born son.—so I can not work too many hours past the regular 40 hour work week. 

 —-So really—tell me what is the “real price of rent these days?”  To be continued…..

RIVEROFLIFELISAJOY!

“IMAGINE ME”

In Luke Chapter 14 verses 7 to14,  Jesus describes how to conduct yourself when you are invited to a wedding.  He explains that you do not sit in the best seat in the house,  (church,  temple etc.) instead sit in the worse seat.  That way if someone of “more importance arrives”  you do not have to change your seat.  Verse 11 states it plainly, “IF YOU PUT YOURSELF ABOVE OTHERS, YOU WILL BE PUT DOWN.  BUT IF YOU HUMBLE YOURSELF, YOU WILL BE HONORED.”  

Then Jesus went on to explain from verse 12 to verse 14: “When you give a dinner ora a banquet, don’t invite your friends and family and relatives and rich neighbors.  If you do, they will invite you in return, and you will be paid back.  When you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind.  They cannot pay you back.  But God will bless you and reward you when his people rise from death.”

I constantly think of the disadvantaged.  I constantly see the disadvantaged.  One day I was going into Manhattan to practice in one of my orchestras.  I came over the Triboro Bridge and landed smack in the middle of Harlem.  I exited the  FDR DRIVE by mistake I saw a woman between the age of 25 and 30.  Her dark brown   skin  was marbled looking.  She had lesions on her skin…Her mouth was cracked and painful looking.  I was stopped at the red light.  I knew what was about to happen.  I told my son to take out some money for the woman.  She came to my window—I gave her what little change I had left.  She told me “Thank you and God bless you!”   I said, “Look I could be where you are—-any one could be.  I have to answer to God for my actions.”—She looked at me and then replied–“You gave me money and the car in front is a Mercedes and that person would not give me anything.  I replied—“Because that person has more than you and I both—they think that they will not one day have you condition or mine—or may be that person does even care….But any way God Bless you  and take care of yourself.”  I drove off in my ten year old care with only twenty dollars in my pocket….wondering what would that woman do for the rest of her life—what disease was she plaqued with and where would she end up by the end of the year or in a day?  Sad—but just like a flower it blooms and withers away.  I pray for the world and my own child’s future.  Time seems slow when we are at work and hate our jobs….but soon our children grow up,  leave us  and then we are moved into nurseing homes and then whither and die like a delicate flower..   So to those in beautiful Mercedes,  Lexus cars —what ever you drive—remember life is short—live to the fullest—but don’t forget the down trodden—-take the “lesser seat at the wedding—-because you do not know who will be placed in that seat—-MAYBE THE WOMAN ASKING FOR A HANDOUT AT THE STOP LIGHT IN HARLEM —instead of you!!!!  —-Think on good things and build bridges–Don’t destroy!!!!