Riveroflifelisajoy’s Weblog

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What does being humble mean?

I have not been able to figure this out.
Some people have told me that I am humble.
A man said it.
But when I went to a Bible study it seems that
I heard that word alot.
Some how I was not as humble as I thought
Then I found myself crying throughout most
of the Bible Study.
So what do I do?
I have to see what it is I am doing wrong.
I am lost at words and lost in my life
I feel that I have caused most of the problems
That I really had no control over.
But somehow…it seems by my attitude…
I am not humble enough…for God to bless
me with a husband, or even just a boyfriend
A companion.
I have been alone for over ten years since
my X-husband has been missing due to
his catastrophic disease…and his adultry.
I miss him for who he had been to me
I miss him for his joy, and I miss him for
his friendship…
I have let go of him…
but no man every approaches me…
I have met men who wanted to use me…
or take advantage of me….I pray for a
Christian Man….but now I am too old
for anybody at all.
So I sat in the Bible study and cried….
Sometimes tears a good….but tonight…
I felt really, really, really, alone…in the midst
of other people.
Do you really want to know why?
I only have $10.00 to my name.
I do not have money and I am without
food to feed my son and mother till
next paycheck
I am lost.;—I feel humiliated…and ashamed
Ashamed that I have no mate, no husband
no one who I can call out to for help.
Sure I can ask the Pastor…but I did that a
month ago.
Things have not gotten better.
So is it a mate, or boyfriend that will
change my circumstance?
No, of course not.

God is the only one that can help me.
So with my prayer….how come I have not
gotten the answer I need to put food on this
dinningroom table.
What does being humble mean anyway?
How humble and humiliated can I become

so that I can get food?

Dear God,

I ask for your help and deliverance.
I ask for forgiveness,
I want to repent of my sins
and I want to see Jesus in my life
I am truly a sinner saved by your grace

But I need your help Lord…
have mercy on me…
Save my family from my lack of finances,,,
I pay rent, but, there is not enough money
to go around after I do that.
Now I sit here at 4 am in the morning on a
Saturday without breakfast for my child…
I am lost and alone…
and worse yet….I am without food.
Thank you Lord for your love and compassion
Amen

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4 Comments»

  ophalm wrote @

For me, being humble is being open minded and open to the truth, even if it goes against everything I’ve ever understood.

  riveroflifelisajoy wrote @

Yes that is true….but it seems that some people are not humble and they appear to have it all….the husband, the house, good health and healthy children…and good finances.

I seem to have all the opposite…and I am constantly told that I need to humble myself more and prepare for the great things God has coming for me. I have been suffering for ten years. Oh well, I guess that is my problem…I complain too much! Thanks for the reply! God loves you and God bless you!

  ophalm wrote @

Well from a christian point of view, what we “have” on this earth should be inverse to what we have in the next.. That’s what the bible tells me (he who is last is first). More humilty means coming last more often..

[…] Read more here: What does being humble mean? « Riveroflifelisajoy’s Weblog […]


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