Riveroflifelisajoy’s Weblog

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Archive for February 16, 2009

WHY?

Why am I alone?
Why do I sit here and pick at this issue
like it was a bone?
Why do I cry myself to sleep?
Why do I have to hold my head
and sometimes weep
Weep for the lonliness that tends
to creep
Creep up my throat like a sore throat
Creep like the weedy vines that cling to
the side of the house
Why?
Why does my life flow in awkward zig zap
paths…never meeting the man of my heart
Why does my selfesteem tank when I
look at my body circumfrance, and my
south turning form?
Why does it matter to men of today…
it my breasts are perky?
Why did I breast feed and leave myself
in this ugly body shape…
from which only a doctors knife free me?
Why do middleage woman have to
fight to have love?
Or rather…why do I not have love?
Why? is it my faith in God never leaves me?
Why does my love of God never leave me?
Why does God continue to give me a reason
to go on?
Why? Maybe love is the answer….
I know love is the answer…
so, Now…you may ask me a question…
How can I say such negative things about
myself? Easy…. quick question…simple
answer….I AM HUMAN…I AM FRAIL, I AM
IMPERFECT….BUT I AM MADE PERFECT
THROUGH CHRIST LOVE AND MERCY ON ME!
Amen…..Why? because the Great I am that
I am …has told me so….
God’s love is covering a mulititude of sins…
God does not look at my body…God only
cares about the spirit of a person….
So yes I question and I ask WHY….?
But I know the actual answer is
‘GOD LOVE YOU AND LOVES ME….NO MATTER
WHAT THE WHY?S STATE…
SO have faith…with even your own self
motiviation…and NEVER GIVE UP…NEVER
GIVE IN….KEEP THE FAITH…NO MATTER
WHAT THE WHY?’S ARE IN YOUR LIFE!

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GIVE THE GIFT OF LOVE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY!

On my birthday….just as on Valentines I sat
home alone…I dropped my son off to a bus
trip to Albany where he met Governor
Patterson, I went shopping at Famous
Brands store and purchased a nice gold tone
blouse, and a washable dusty rose colored
suede knee length skirt, to wear to church
on my birthday….
You see I was unfortunate to be born the
day after Valentines Day….!!!!! UGGGGGGH!
I have never received a Valentines..gift….
So I am always embarressed on that day and
the day after….So solution….
I gave gifts to others on my birthday…
so here is what you can do …it you never
get recognized on your birthday…here is my
creative suggestion to bless others instead
of seeking to be blessed on your birthday or
Valentines Day!
* Buy a nice outfit for cheap at Famous
Brands
* Pick a song to sing at church
* Buy long stemmed immitation roses with
a tag and write inspiritional phrase on it.
* Sing and give the roses to people
and ask them to share with you the
joy of your birthday….
Even if you do not go out for your birthday..
even if you are completely alone on your
birthday, move forward…GIVE THE GIFT OF
LOVE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY….in thanks
giving to God for his miracles in your life.
I used the scripture John 3:16 as a way
of showing God’s love for all….
*”For God so Loved the World that he Gave
his only begotten Son,
That whomsoever, believeth on him
Should not perish, but
have everlasting life!”
So there you have it….I you are a lonely
woman like me, middleaged, and over the
hill…”just a tiny bit”—give the gift of
Love to others…when you are down…
doing good deads makes you feel better.
I do not receive gifts….no one cares about
me like that….in OVER 12 YEARS OR MORE!
So do I sit back in cry?
No!!!! Of Course NOT!… Get out and GIVE!
If you have faith….Christian Faith…or Jewish
Faith, Muslim Faith…..whatever….you
believe in you can make others happy…
and thereby make yourself happy at the
same time.
Give the gift of love…!
Volunteer at a Soup kitchen, help a sick
or shut in person on your birthday…
Valentines Day???? Give flowers to an
elderly lady or man…or visit a sick child,
or donate money to a worthy cause…
or donate time in the church!
Give the gift of love…It will raise your
spirit!
You can always go home a cry about your
aloneness…in the world…but take some
of that negative self pity and turn it around
and use it for good….I felt good at the end
of my day after church was finished.
It did not matter so much that I do not
look like Beyonce, or was not given
12 long stemmed roses on Valentines Day,
It was not so painful that I did not
recieve a dinner date, or a birthday cake
because I shared my birthday by singing,
and giving 16 flowers to sixteen women
in the church….
TAKE THE CHALLENGE….
The next time you feel hurt, alone, and lonely
step out of the box of waiting for
happiness and joy to come to you…
GIVE THE GIFT OF LOVE….
GIVE THE GIFT OF LOVE! YOU WILL BE GLAD
THAT YOU GAVE THE GIFT OF LOVE!
GIVE THE GIFT OF LOVE….LET ME KNOW
HOW IT TURNS OUT….

REMEMBER….GIVE THE GIFT OF LOVE!

My Heart is Full

At no time in life
has my heart been so
full…
Full of joy,
full of sorrow
full of peace
full of hope for tomorrow
My heart is full
full of love
for God and his word
Renewed and re-filled
by the wonder of his
miracles!
I feel like the song of
Solomon….”HIs Banner Over me
is Love”—
I feel a full heart…yet it is
a fullness that I fear will
change….I hope for great things
and yet I consider my frailness
and my weaknesses
I love you….I love God…
I feel full of hope for tomorrow…
but I cannot tell you….
So fullness ready to overflow…
Fullness of the heart….
Fullness of the spirit….
I love you….I love you…
I thank God for you…
I thank God for his love…
in Christ Jesus!
Lord…I pray give me
strength, and give you
strength and spiritual
blessings….
Thank you Lord for your
HolySpirit…that is the
Comforter!
My heart is full….
Never in my life before
have I thought this could
happen twice in my life…
Help me Lord, if I seem like
Thomas…….Lord I believe…
but my faith is perfected
only in You Lord Jesus…
toward this new miracle in
my life…
For you have refilled my heart
and spirit with your Holy Spirit
and Anionting Fresh and new!
My heart is full of the Love of
God…and all of its’ wonderful
possibilities!
My heart is full
toward mankind…
to do my best…
to hand out a life
line to those in need!
My heart is full to overflowing
in love, peace and joy!
My heart is full!