Riveroflifelisajoy’s Weblog

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Archive for February 9, 2009


I want to say I love you…
but when I see you I do not know
how to say it.
I saw you and my heart skipped a beat
and I felt a tingle in my feet.
I want to touch you ….but you run
from me.
The wind blew through the window and
the curtain moved, and you were gone!
So now I have no more Valentines Day!
For you have gone, so far very away!
Little me, silly me, large mistakes
that taste like pancakes!
Without the syrup…..Oh, my….why
can’t I just be little fly on the wall instead
of this bramble bush of loving thoughts
and painful heart….
I want to be in your presence all day long=
I wanted to sing you a very special song…
So come back, to little buttercup…that’s right
that is me…come back little sweetum…
buttercup…..YOu see me….I miss you…
I keep looking up into the sky…for a
sign of your love…for me!
Can’t you see?

I’m Sad Again

Take me to somebody who
will explain to me why I am
drawn to people who do not really
want to be a friend?
Sometimes I look at the past ten
years of my life and I am unable to
really connect with people.
I mean really! I am truly alone with my mother
and my son.
I hear people on my job going out with
one another, of meeting up to visit a sick
But when I get sick, or my child is in the
hospital…nobody visits and nobody calls.
Maybe I generate some negative auora…
I am fat, and overweight….I am not very
pretty….so maybe that is why at the age
of 47 …soon to be 48 on February 15…that
is why I am without a mate ( for over 10 years
I have been without a mate…or companion)
I am not the attractive 21 year old I had
been so many years ago.
So there…you have it!
Yes, I am SAD Again.
I want happiness, but I am not in the
pool of happiness I guess.
I hope your life is better…and more
positive than mine.
My birthday is unfortunately the day after
I never even get a card for Valentines Day…
So What!? Hey you are right! I am nobody
special. I just a human being…lucky to be
who I am….atleast I have ajob….everything
else is not important.
Or atleast I can get up and go to work
and feed my child….so do I deserve a pat
on the back for that? NO of course not.
So yeah, I am SAD Again….but I never give
up….NEVER GIVE IN …..I keep pressing
toward the mark of my high calling from God…
to be a servant to others. I am not
permitted marriage, or intimate relationships—
just serve my family, and do my job, and
obey my bosses and supervisors on my
job. Exciting isn’t it?
But things could always be worse. I could be
in horrible conditions that I will not even
state….but you know what I mean.
So if you are listening…think about your
life…if you have a roof over your head, food
in my stomach, and my family ….well….
I just have to be thankful for what I have.
Although I feel loss, and sadness some
times….but THIS TOO SHALL PASS…this too
shall pass.